The man I loved

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

A poem about my ex-fiance, the first boy I ever loved, and how he changed my life. It amazing to look back on then and now and see how much I've grown.

There's a boy who used to say, "Oh, I love her so."  
smiling through the ashes and the cigarette smoke.  
Kind only when his head was filled with dope, 
she still wished those word were more than a joke.  


Like a dark cloud on backdrop of gold,  
he diluted her judgement, covering her eyes, mouth, and nose.  
Hoping her words would die on her tongue or fall beneath the fray,  
he always wanted to rain on her splendid parade 


A boy locked on the wrong side of Pandora's box,  
she thought she could fix him, mend what other could not.  
Even when the world seemed to drown under his noxious wave,  
she refused to run, holding steadfast through the haze. 


Words of warning came from all directions,  
falling at her feet like signs from heaven.  
Nevertheless, they never truly reached her ears,  
blocked out by the hands that so adamantly soothed her fears.


He apologized, screamed, schemed, and lied,  
hiding those small tablets from his would be bride.  
A ring on her finger, happy to have someone to love,  
she made a point to ignore the complaints above.  


By the time she realized that his only motive was hate,  
she had almost been condemned to such an unholy fate.  
The fighting, the screaming, the lies became too much,  
but he wasn't ready to lose the support, or money, of his little crutch. 


Smart, intelligent, dressed like a man you may know,  
no one ever questioned her bruises when they began to show.  
It was then she knew that even though her love was true,  
his was just as fake as the smoke he blew.  


There's a boy who used to say "She's mine you know."  
smiling under the guise of a heart of gold.  
Fooling those who never really looked that close,  
but sink deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.  


Somehow, she escapedrunning back to an equally bruised and beaten home, 

one on the mend from years of pain untold. 
Lucky to not have the love of the boy who, thanks to his pills and drugs and coke 
never made it to be a man of twenty-six years old.  

Submitted: January 17, 2018

© Copyright 2022 LizzyLove. All rights reserved.

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Wow! Such a tremendous and deep story. Very well done! It's commendable how you managed to leave this toxic relationship behind.

Wed, January 17th, 2018 4:01pm

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