One More Day

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


How I live my life everyday with the struggles of depression, think of this poem as one of my diary entries. There will be sad poems, happy poems, and random poems. Enjoy, and welcome to Jessica's
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Submitted: January 20, 2018

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Submitted: January 20, 2018

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I wake up with a blank stare on my face, looking at the ceiling where shadows cast themselves from the green light of my phone charger, I take a deep breathe and look at my enemy's face...the time on the alarm clock. I wonder why I feel the way I feel after I came a long way from therapy. I was in denial of my depression for years, I talked to someone about it, they helped me with the root of this evil tree, but I don't feel accomplished...as a matter of fact I don't feel anything at all. I am aware of the things I have, I'm grateful for it, but I can't feel the happiness that comes along with it. The void that is in the middle of my heart cannot be filled, for it is a blackhole...a special kind of blackhole. This type of blackhole sucks every bit of happiness and joy that does come along my way, and leaves every nasty thing I don't want to be left behind here. I start thinking of this story that I saw on a movie that expresses my situation perfectly:

 

And a Man sat alone, drenched deep in sadness. And all the animals drew near to him and said, "We do not like to see you so sad. Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it." The Man said, "I want to have good sight." The vulture replied, "You shall have mine." The Man said, "I want to be strong." The jaguar said, "You shall be strong like me." Then the Man said, "I long to know the secrets of the earth." The serpent replied, "I will show them to you." And so it went with all the animals. And when the Man had all the gifts that they could give, he left. Then the owl said to the other animals, "Now the Man knows much, he'll be able to do many things. Suddenly I am afraid." The deer said, "The Man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop." But the owl replied, "No. I saw a hole in the Man, deep like a hunger he will never fill. It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking, until one day the World will say, 'I am no more and I have nothing left to give.'"

 Though I do not want material things, but "things" that are absolutely free. Even though I feel like a piece of gum on the bottom of someone's shoe, I have to tell myself to keep going...just one more day.

 

Jessica T.


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