Our Utopia (Draft)

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: The Team Players

Third person omniscient.

Chapter 20 (v.1) - Paradox/Inflame

Submitted: November 04, 2018

Reads: 139

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 04, 2018



The building rumbled. Explosions could be heard nearby. Jay Shinzen stormed through a long hallway, questions coming from all directions.


“What do you plan to do?”


“Is this a terrorist attack?”


“Will we be evacuating?”


“Ma’am!” She ignored her consultant’s worries and reached her office at the end of the hall. A man was waiting inside. James Cloygiis.


“The military has prepared a path of evacuation,” he said. Jay closed the door behind her.


“I won’t be evacuating,” she said simply.




“I have to assert dominance.” James scowled.


“Ma’am reinforcements will not arrive in time!” James was right of course. Ouranos city, capital of Edenia, had its own small army. The majority of said army was blown away in a bombing nearly minutes ago. She would not let herself be defeated this easily. An image of Kaylynn found itself in her mind. The poor girl. Jay shook her head.


“If we retreat, they’ll gain control of Ouranos city in hours,” Jay tried to rationalize her logic. James wasn’t buying it.


“What will you being here change?” He demanded. “What will become of Edenia if you die for nothing!” Jay shook her head.


“I won’t retreat,” she said, her voice stern. James cursed her name under his breath. “Get me a microphone,” she ordered. James left the room. She lifted a photograph from her pocket, a small golden-haired girl, Kaylynn. “I’ll be with you soon.”



Zatoi was amazed. Rio had a powerful military force, raised from seemingly nowhere. An entire fleet of attack shuttles. Hundreds of soldiers. Hades, the floating fortress: A pyramid-like structure with a multitude of weapons. Zatoi stood at the helm of Hades, silently watching over the destruction below. The sky of Ouranos city was full of attack shuttles. It was beautiful.


“Fire on the royal palace?” a question buzzed through the radio on the control board. Rio, who was in the chair next to Zatoi, tapped the bottom of his mask as if in thought.


“What do you think?” He asked, turning toward Zatoi.


“No,” Zatoi said. “Queen Jay Shinzen deserves a more public death.” Rio made a satisfied sound in his throat.


“Cease fire,” he ordered into the radio. “Return to Hades.” Hades served as the docking bay for the fleet. Zatoi made his way towards an elevator in the back of the room.


“I’m going,” he said.


“Take Miguel with you,” Rio said. “He can teleport you in.” Zatoi hadn’t considered that. He nodded at Miguel and walked towards him.


“Let’s go,” Miguel placed his hand on Zatoi’s shoulder and the two of them were standing in front of a large building. Four columns stood in front of the entrance, each brandishing a Shinzen flag. Zatoi kicked the door in and entered.


“News,” Miguel spoke up from outside of the door. Zatoi turned around, a group of people were standing in front of a van, a woman aiming a camera at them.





“All soldiers scour the city and save as many as you possibly can!” Jay ordered. Gunfire went off, it was close. James pulled Jay to the floor until it ended.


“We have to go!” He demanded. Jay stood up.


“They are in the palace,” she said.


“Jay!” He grabbed her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “You are going to die,” she shook her head slowly. She wouldn’t mind if she died. She’d probably see Kaylynn again if she did.


“If I do, I end this rebellion here,” she tried to sound determined. James gripped her shoulders tightly. She pulled free and walked around him to a drawer. James watched as she picked up a small chest.


“Is that?”


“Neutralizer,”  she explained calmly. She opened the chest and pulled a leather band from it. “I’m going,” she picked up a gun from the same drawer.


“I won’t let you kill yourself,” James’ eyes burned with fury. “Your sisters will devastate Edenia if you die!” She nodded. She didn’t really care about Edenia or its people. She loved one person. That person was gone. This was her chance. This was her way out. She hated herself. Such a selfish person. “Are you listening?” He yelled. More gunfire went off. He reached out for her, she smashed the gun into the side of his head, he collapsed. Maybe they won’t kill him if he stays down. She left the room. The hallway was empty. Jay’s consultants had run away. She wondered if they made it out alive. A part of her hoped they did, a part didn’t care. She followed the sound of gunfire, making her way through the double door kitchen entrance. She remembered Kaylynn, such a social girl. Always spending time with the cook. She left the kitchen through the back entrance and found herself in another familiar hall. This hall led to the front entrance. The gunfire was to her left. Three men were standing side by side. One of them holding a reporter’s camera, the other shooting everyone he saw. She approached silently. Shoot them. They had their backs turned. Shoot them!


“Queen Jay Shinzen,” the man with the gun turned around. It was Zatoi Clodes. He aimed the gun at her. She froze. “Get the camera rolling,” he said, starting to walk towards her. The other man started to fiddle with the camera. The man next to him watched silently. “It better be live,” Zatoi added. The man nodded. Jay raised her gun. Zatoi laughed. “Shoot me,” he threw the gun to the side. The cameraman aimed the camera at Zatoi as he continued to approach Jay. Her arm was steady. “Shoot me, queen,” he said.


“Zatoi,” the third man warned. “Zatoi! She has a neutralizer!” Zatoi stopped. He must have been confident in some ability that would save him. She pulled the trigger. Zatoi Clodes crumpled to the floor. She had shot him in the head. “Shit!” The third man aimed a gun at her, she turned hers on him. Why are you fighting? Don’t you want to die?  Are you that pathetic that you can’t even die? The man glared at her. The cameraman backed away slowly, lowering the camera.


“That confirms it,” Zatoi spoke. His body rose like a puppet being pulled by a string. “I have no ability.” Jay watched, astonished. “This power, this invincibility, this blessing,” he traced a finger around the bullet hole in his cheek, it sealed up. “Is more than an ability,” he turned towards the cameraman. “Keep that camera trained!” The cameraman raised the camera.


“You’re a monster,” the third man said. He had a wide smile on his face. Zatoi continued his march towards Jay. She dropped her gun. He grabbed her throat, she coughed, trying to force air.


“Jay Shinzen,” he said almost respectfully. “Your duty is over.” Tears filled her eyes. Was she that horrified of death? No. She would finally be reunited with her pride and joy. He twisted her head to the side, hard, something cracked. Something broke. Jay felt herself collapse. She was choking on herself. Her face was pressed against the floor, forcing her right eye shut. Through her left eye, she could see the wall. I’m coming. She assured herself. Blood filled her mouth. Kaylynn, I’m coming! Her eye slowly closed.


My utopia is with you. 

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