The Game

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

A journal-like entry about a moment from my childhood.

We were ten. 

I hung around the popular crowd, I wasn't popular or even liked, but my longtime friend was, ams after years of always being the spazz girl, no one was going to be legitimatly seen around me no matter the circumstance. 
I didn't really care though, I only had eyes for the pretty ones - "pretty like me". It's safe to say I was borderline delusional. 

The one friend I had, I'll call her Maddie, would only let me hand around her and the populars every now and then and I relished every second. Now that I think a little though, at that point in time me and Maddie were on-again off-again friends. But we where friens I guess nonetheless. 
Looking back I'm not sure about everything that went on when I was with the popular girls, only that it contained a lot of drama. 

But back to the main point I'm writing about today: "The Game". Or at least that's what I call it now. 
The way it happened was quite simple: Maddy (more often than not it was her) would come up to me and say that one of the populars had been kicked out of the group. I would, of course, believe them and eagerly participate when the rest of the group talked shit about the "exiled" member. Then the next day the person would magically be forgiven and the group would laugh as they recounted every mean thing I'd said about them. (I really shouldn't have said anything mean from the start, but I just wanted to please them and fit in by joining in on the mean things)

Now I didn't realize that this might've been mean - not at first anyways. I just wanted to be part of the drama, like the cool girls on TV. 
But after a couple times of doing this I got more and more reluctant to join in on the trash-talk. 

"She's always so annoying, don't you think?"

"She thinks she's all that, doesn't she?"

"I swear I'm so glad she's gone." 

These were the kinds of things they said, along with mocking things the "exiled" had said. Again, after a few times I got quieter. 

They probably noticed I wan't as much "fun" anymore, because I got kicked out once again. I was a fairly ignorant kid, but even then I knew enough to feel hurt - if just barely. But after that I never accepted any other of Maddy's invitations to hang out, and we stopped our weekend sleeopvers. 

For the last few months of the school year I went friendless. I managed to find a few people to hang around, but they were never really "friends" I guess. 

Anyhow, that concludes one of the (many) chapters of my life. I may end up writing more, but for now thanks for the read!

Submitted: January 23, 2018

© Copyright 2021 Jay Rose. All rights reserved.

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