When

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


When you dont think you are loved look closer....


I used to drink, do drugs and smoke. Used to pretend I was someone I wasn't. Used to be someone completely different. Just to hide the fact that the real me I never thought would be accepted.

 

Used to feel lonely and feel as if no one could ever understand, yet just downstairs was a mother and step dad who cared. Never thought happiness could be a reality. Yet I always tried my best just to see my mother smile after a hard days work.

 

I was always feelingless, never showed any emotion. Teachers at school could never help me because I was to far gone. Always talked with my fists but that wasn't how I was raised. My only coping mechanism was a line, pill, cigarette,fight or razor.

 

When the stress became to much for my mother, I was always afraid to tell her how I felt just in case I added more on to the pile. There was some things I could never tell my brother because he as much to young. I always told my mother I loved her more just for her to know how much I appreciate her and everything she did and still does for me.

 

Things never made sense. Things never added up but never the less eventually everything worked out.

 

When my only home became split into two, I didn't understand that sometimes Mam's and Dad's sometimes fall out of love. When I thought I wouldn't have a father figure of which I needed. My mother found him. When the changes In the house and family started I knew it was only for the best.

 

When everything goes wrong there is no one to blame. When you feel as if the world is against you it is just a new beginning. Another chance to make something of yourself.

 

When you think your mother won't love you for telling her who you really are. When you think she will never accept you. When you stress over thinking about each and every way to tell her. Only for her to turn and tell you ' I will always love you' Is a massive relief off of your shoulders.

 

When you thought you loved someone. When you thought they could be something only for them to turn out to be nothing because you just weren't enough only to turn around and meet someone who loves you for everything that you are and everything you will be. When you plan a future with them and finally realise why those past relationships never worked before. When all those coincidences fit together. It may seem strange at first but it is only a sign of true love.

 

When you think you have no one, take a closer look, you have your mother, the one who carried you in her stomach, the one who held you as a baby, the one who kissed your wounds, the one who helped you take your first steps and taught you how to talk. The one who will still care about you and love you just as mush as she did the first day she knew you were going to be in her life. Look to your friend who has always been there for you or the one who is now your lover and partner in your future.

 

When you love someone it will always be difficult to accept certain things. There will always be arguments. But you will never be more loved and accepted by anyone else.

 

Love is hard, love is stressful and sometimes deceiving but also it is necessary and worth every second.

 

Let someone know you love them, it will always make their day that much better.

 

Never let your past lovers hold you back from finding someone who genuinely loves you. Never let your past control you.

 

Just let it go...


Submitted: January 26, 2018

© Copyright 2021 Kkayde. All rights reserved.

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