Remember us?

Reads: 643  | Likes: 19  | Shelves: 4  | Comments: 16

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Vintage Publishing


Do you remember us? (01/23/2018)


Writing about this I am through,

My heart can’t stop thinking about you.

I miss you; I don’t miss us,

I am not crying (that’s a plus).

I miss your voice and you being near,

I miss the times when you were here.

I miss the woman I was with you,

I always knew just what to do.

I’ve never felt you quite this far,

I wonder always how you are.

I recall the nights you took me out,

I was so drunk without a doubt.

I sat beside you; my hair curled,

And you had promised me the world.

Two fools in love and in so deep,

Except you weren’t mine to keep.

Midnight’s rush; that was our life,

And then you went back to your wife.

That was the truth we can’t deny,

But this secret love will never die.


Submitted: January 30, 2018

© Copyright 2021 jaylisbeth. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

johngumbs

Get it all out, Yeah! In the end you'll feel good. Yoyr rhyming is getting better better. I like the way you arrange the words.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 2:04pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much, John :)

Tue, January 30th, 2018 6:08am

Adam L.

Very nostalgic, Lis. I was blindsided with the last three lines. Nicely done and great rhymes.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 2:57pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Adam.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 7:04am

LeParadisNoirPoetique

As bittersweet as two stars being together, then their light burns out to leave the distance of separation. I believe the tears you will cry are the memories of this; that is why you cannot stop thinking about it. The memories burn because you felt a complete person, and life right now is so distant from this. You may miss this person, but you don't miss us because of the destination departure. Getting very personal with your memories Lisbeth, and when you write about them, how ever painful they were, you seem to write your best poetry from them. I probably want you to be honestly ok more than anyone, so any happy memories you have, think of them instead. It is difficult knowing what you are feeling right now, but I believe your strength will guide you to the correct place. What you are feeling is real life, and faith will not help you because it does not exist, all you need is yourself.

It's another deep poem, and the real life you have wrote about describes that it is not easy, and only you feel what you are going through. The poem is beautiful, and your rhyming is so hard hitting. For what you are feeling, I find it a remarkable achievement that you are able to write such quality like this. It all goes back to your strength, and how real life will not defeat you.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 4:08pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much, Dexter. 3 years ago this was the best and worst days of my life.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 11:50am

Mike S.

Beautiful and sad, J. B!

Tue, January 30th, 2018 5:40pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Mike

Tue, January 30th, 2018 11:40am

hullabaloo22

Some feelings never die, jaylisbeth. Sad and emotional.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 6:33pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Hully :)

Tue, January 30th, 2018 11:40am

Sue Harris

A great poem JB... memories of an elicit love. But that's all they are... an episode in life, but not real life. Would it have remained so exciting had it not been clandestine? A heartfelt poem, written with raw emotion and truth.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 8:19pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much, Sue :)

Tue, January 30th, 2018 12:43pm

Jeff Bezaire

Those first four lines carry the greatest weight. They're the most positive and the most emotional of the piece. "I miss you; I don't miss us" is the tidal wave, I think. So much said, so much revealed with that one line: clarity, perspective, honesty, admission, a wave of release it feels like.
This is an incredible piece, Lisbeth! It's an extremely courageous thing you've done, to reveal and release this secret, this weight that's lived inside you for so long. They say: "the truth shall set you free". I hope this was liberating for you. Hopefully, you found some cathartic release in writing this. We can't move on until we let go of the past. The love may never die, but hopefully it does not tie you down.
Your words carry plenty of tenderness. Although this poem is ultimately about the pain of being denied this love, there's so much beauty in your words.
The poem is incredible and your bravery is commendable.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 9:58pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Jeff :) it was very therapeutic purging my resentment and the bitter nostalgia with this poem.

Tue, January 30th, 2018 2:57pm

Tom Allen714

Well done Jaylisbeth, to love a taken heart...Tom...

Wed, January 31st, 2018 2:55am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Tom :)

Thu, February 1st, 2018 6:21am

Rehmat Tanzila

That's so beautiful dearest !! Excellent scheme of writing

Wed, January 31st, 2018 12:45pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, my dear :)

Thu, February 1st, 2018 6:21am

Criss Sole

I loved it. I could feel the heartache as I read this.

Thu, February 1st, 2018 6:32am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Criss.

Thu, February 1st, 2018 6:20am

Spyguy

I can’t say I condone infidelity, part of the reason is evident in many of these poignant & heart-felt poems you pen, but I understand & admire the trueness of your heart!

Wed, February 7th, 2018 8:12am

Author
Reply

Thank you, dear Spy.

Wed, February 7th, 2018 5:39am

Spyguy

I hope you can cultivate the caring & love that Jeff has for you my Princess friend! I see here, as in every other example of his comments to you, very sage & reliable advice, council, & wisdom!

Wed, February 7th, 2018 8:19am

Author
Reply

Awww, well thank you, Spy.

Wed, February 7th, 2018 5:39am

Amy Furzane

As much as we love someone, it doesn't mean we have to be with them. Such painful dreams thinking you will never be with the one you love. Nicely written I like! :)

Wed, February 14th, 2018 2:18pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Amy, I am so glad you liked it :)

Wed, February 14th, 2018 6:22am

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