Broken

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: House of Ghosts

Submitted: February 01, 2018

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Submitted: February 01, 2018

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Broken

For a long time, I thought I was strong I had prevailed and made a home of my own. Yet something inside me slowly stayed broken no matter how hard I tried to pretend with a smile on my face that I truly was strong enough to erase the pain of my past. I always remember the voice that broke me as a child this person tried to imprint that nothing I did would be worth it. My belief in people slowly died I kept my smile because that was all that I had no matter how much I wanted to cry I never wanted anyone to see how much she had broke me. Yet when I finally made my escape I didn’t care if I slept on the streets because all I could do was remember that 8-year-old boy who slept on the floor of his condos laundry room. The memory is burned into my head the fear and sadness I felt. Yet in all that darkness I was able to find one person who took the time to show me the world was not so bad. A stranger she was no connection at all yet she saw that poor 16-year-old boy with just one bag and nowhere to go. She extended her hand and gave me a place and thought me that help could come from any place. Because of her, I thought I had the strength to go on my own and be a success. I worked any job and saved when finally I was able to afford a very good place. I kept in mind all the things that I learn and tried my best to help those I could. But yet today I find myself back in that place broken and scared because I was foolish enough to trust someone I called a friend. I open my home and gave them a place only to learn this was a just a scam he was looking to find some to use and stupid enough to fall for his lies. Guess she was right I was never worth it I was dumb and foolish and here to be broken. My trust in myself now was gone for I could no longer hide behind the smile I used to pretend everything was fine. I just want to crawl back into the darkness shut the world out and cry for I’ve had enough of pretending. My friends don’t know how much I depend on them for they are the reason I keep pretending that maybe if I smiled my mind will believe I am no longer that child who wept on the streets because of his selfish desire to meet the one person he thought would love them because they had been thought that a mother’s love was unconditional and something everyone had. So here I sit trying my best as I look in the mirror and all that I see is a broken child, not a man who has survived 15 years on their own.


© Copyright 2018 Xander Barry Leon. All rights reserved.

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