When Half Of Me Died

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

November 17 ,2014... the date when half of me has been buried  alive , i still remember each details, moment of this night, it was one of the scary cold winter days at Jordan ,

When Half Of Me Died



November 17 ,2014... the date when half of me has been buried  alive , i still remember each details, moment of this night, it was one of the scary cold winter days at Jordan , i swear i still can feel the cold it feels like spreading me into pieces, i was a simple guy at age of 24 just got married at August 19,2014  .


I was just arrived home from work and the time pointing to 5:30 PM my phone ringing i picked it up and said hello , someone with strange voice talking : 'hi saif , how are you ?, did you try to call your dad and he is not answering any of my calls !' I told him no i didn't call  him today . He hanged up .


5 minutes later my phone ringing again and someone just talking in weird scary tune and said : ' hi saif can you come to 'hamza hospital ' as fast as you can ?' , at this point my breath was just like someone was choking me and i felt so dizzy like the room is moving !! , felt like i''m lost in space nothing around and can't feel a thing i told him' why what happened ? ' , he replied in a nervous tune: ' nothing just your father had a small accident nothing serious ', i told him 'how come its not serious and your voice saying the opposite for god sake !!' He just asked me to come up fast and hanged up the phone .


At this moment i swear to god i started seeing black just black and my heart beats were like someone digging a whole in my chest !, i called my neighbor to drive me to the hospital as i don't have a car , he said ok but once we were in the car he realized that he don't know where is this hospital exactly , so i took a taxi and went there .. in the way i was shacking suddenly the taxi driver asked me ' whats wrong why are so nervous and shacking ' i told him that my dad had an accident and they told me that there is nothing serious , he replied : ' don't worry am sure that everything will be fine ' , deep inside i knew that something wrong something really bad happened .


I have arrived to the hospital a huge number of people were standing in front of the emergency door , i ran to them and start asking while i'm shacking like an electricity hit me  : ' where is my father where is he someone tell me what happened where is he please and my tears falls !' .


One of the people drag me away and asked me to look at him .. then he start talking :' i know you are a man who has faith a man accept what god choose for us ...' once i heard these words 

My heart stopped beating i couldn't hear or see anyone i felt like someone just shot me on the head from behind .


The bad news came out , 'your dad had an accident and he couldn't make it' the man said !


I start crying and crying snd crying saying 'No dad no please No 'i couldn't even breath' everyone tried to calm me down .


I just went far away from them and hold my tears for seconds and called my cousin he lives at 'Saudi Arabia' he answered my call with laughs and happy joyful tune and start asking about my family , i couldn't respond i just asked him if there is anyone around him he said no . And i told him: ' my dad died !, he couldn't believe it he asked : 'what are you talking about , what happened '(he was crying) . I told him :' someone hit my dad with his car and ran away ! I and i said ' My dad is dead dead dead ' then i hanged up as i start crying.



5 minutes later one of our family here told me that i should tell my brother and sister and they are inside the hospital and they don't know that my dad already passed away, i didn't know how to tell them such a thing i felt like i'm frozen , zombie that can't feel anything once i reached them they ran to me and we start crying specially my little sister as she was only 13 !the youngest .


My Mom passed out after that as her blood pressure went down so far ! And we moved her to the emergency room as fast as we can , she start hallucination saying weird things and something about my father 'no no he didn't die no no no ' 


My sister just went crazy as hell she just couldn't move and was crying , one of our family took her with them trying to calm her down a bit.


My friend called me ( i tried to call him at the beginning when the asked me to go to the hospital but he didn't respond) , he asked me why i called him , and i just told him the bad news and hanged up , he came so fast and hugged me , asked me if i need anything , i just told him that i need to go the home and stay with my family for now.


Once we reached our home my phone start ringing .. my cousin telling me that he want to come to Jordan and 2 of my uncles to say good bye to my father and for the funeral for sure.


My wife told me 3 hours after she heard what happened as she was at 'Saudi Arabia' visiting her father ( he is my uncle) she tried to calm me down but she couldn't do much as she was really emotionally destroyed even more than me as my father was her favorite man here in Jordan and as a second father for her.


One of my brothers ( the older one) was in 'United Arab Emirates' as he works there , and he was coming 2 days after the accident.


One my brother friends called him and asked him if he heard about what happened in Jordan for an old man that died in car accident , my brother replied : ' No what happened ?' And the bad news spread away .. once he heard this he start breaking everything around , screaming , thanks god some friends were around and got to control him for a bit .


That day i could't sleep as i was waiting my brother to arrive once i saw him i ran to him and start crying couldn't stay strong or catch my tears what so ever .


We arrived home enter the main room and saw my mother crying so bad my brother hugged her and everyone there start crying and the place just became black and black and black !.


5 hours left for my uncle and my wife to arrive , come on lets go , ( i said to my brothers) . 


Once we arrived my uncle was there waiting us we just ran to him and hugged us and tears just falls down all the way , i remember an old women saw us crying and start crying too without even knowing whats happening!.


After that i ran to my wife and hugged her and told her to calm down and start strong so she can help my mother and sister at the home .


We arrived home it  wasn't home anymore for me at least i felt like it's horror room my dad is not there any more , everyone were siting there , staring at us , i was just looking for my sister as i couldn't find her there i asked everyone where is she , they told me she locked up her self in her room and didn't eat anything since the accident, i went to her room trying to talk to her she was just crying refused to talk to anyone .


I didn't give up and my brothers followed me trying to cheer her up a little i grape her and ran with her to the living room in front of people and she just smiled , once the people saw us they start crying .


 At the night after everyone went a sleep i was moving in the home staring at my dad favorite chair , his favorite pajama , his phone ..i sniffed his smell all over the place i swear i still can feel him until now .


I still remember that day he called me at the morning and said' hey buddy listen you are coming today to eat beans with me right , i know you love it ' , i laughed and said ' yes dad sure ' . But we couldn't eat it , i just keep dreaming of me and him eating beans and i keep woking and cry , scream .


I wish we had chance to eat together just once before he died ...


1 day after police called us to talk about the accident And the story was like that :

' my dad was crossing the street wants to buy a shoes closet and suddenly a car hit him through him in the air and ran away ' 


It appeared that the guy who did it crossed a res traffic line without any care for anyone and he is only 18 years old came from another country to study !.


We asked for the doctor report and it was just horrible it shows that my dad was hit and through up in the air then went down at the car front window and the driver drove above him abd kept going! , left my dad bleeding for like 20-30 minutes until the ambulance  arrived . 



At the funeral an old man siting beside me said : ' Do you know son , i saw your dad the moment he reached the hospital he was full of blood , had a several injuries, broken bones, and i almost couldn't recognize him'  , i just couldn't handle what he said and start crying and moved away to take a breathe , closed my eyes and just imagine what this old man said , how my dad suffer before he died .


The day my dad died half of me or maybe more died inside , outside , emotionally , physically . 


Every night i fall a sleep i keep dreaming of him standing there waving for me with his gentle smile and big shining eyes , i still hear his laugh his move . The way he prepare the breakfast at the holidays how he call me at night to check where am i , his fear , his love , his words that made me who am i now , without him i would be no body .


I can't forget the day when i graduate from the university he hugged me tight and his tears fall down and i saw the happiness in his eyes like never before .


I still remember 5 days before my wedding he said' i want to see you married before i die ' i don't know what he kept saying this for like 3 month before he die ..


I wont and never gonna forget you dad , you will be always at my heart in my mind in my bones in each cells of my body.


Rest in Peace Dad

Thats still nothing of how much my dad means to me , everyone should respect , enjoy every possible moment with their parents as life is short and we may regret that we didn't spend enough time with the angles who were always beside us in every moment of our lives .





Submitted: February 09, 2018

© Copyright 2021 SaifAF. All rights reserved.

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Emereda Von Graffinried

Your story make my heart bleed...i don't how you feel but I do understand it...i cried after i'd finished reading it

Fri, February 9th, 2018 12:22pm

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