“i waited”

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 11, 2018

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Submitted: February 11, 2018

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I had a dream that i was on a beach and there was a full moon in the sky. The waves crashed the shore and as i lay there in the sand i swear i hear them whispering your name melodiously. So i close my eyes to listen and the whispers only grow softer until they disappear. In the dream i hadn’t heard that name in so long, maybe as a child at least thats what i was thinking. After lying for a few more moments i open my eyes to look into my bathroom mirror, but im not confused on how i got there. As i look into the mirror my image begins to focus and i start to realize that im older, like late 30s. I leave the bathroom and wander my house looking for a photo of my family and wife and kids but to my shock i find none. Just a single picture by the door of my silhouette at maybe 20 something alone by a body of water. I reach for my phone and attempt to call you only to be surprised by the fact that your number changed. Im just looking at the photo now and as i stare i begin to wonder is this the night i was dreaming about, the night i heard your name sung to me by the waves? What had become of us, did it really end, is the love really over? It cant be because your name it still soothes me and my heart it still yearns for you. Did i waste my life waiting hoping that you’d come back only for you to go off and get married to another man. As i fall to my knees my hands reach for my face to block the rush of tears draining from my eyes and as i cry and cry i hear the wind begin to blow against the house and through my cries i here your name and though i cant stop crying the whispers got louder only to stop abruptly. Still i stay there with me face buried in the pool of tears I’ve created in my hands. Eventually i stop crying and as i go to dry my tears i realize there are none there so i open my eyes and begin looking back at myself the mirror. I look almost exactly the same but with a few gray hairs. I examine my face and for some reason i know im in my 40s i leave the bathroom searching for you. As i leave my room i hear a baby crying in another room. As i reach for the room door i realize its locked. Is this my child? Whos the mother? The crying stops suddenly and fear takes over me as i break down the door to enter the room. My eyes search the room and i see myself holding the baby as we lock eyes he smiles.

I ask “how...how is this possible?”

He just laughs as he sets the baby down as i rush to the side of the crib, he stops me with one hand and for some reason i didn’t fight as he left the room. i felt stuck as my eyes watched him leave. Once i gained control of myself i looked into the crib and took the baby with me to search for him. I find him on the couch watching tv waiting for me he says to sit and i do. 

“Do you know whos baby this is?” I ask

He laughs and says “look closely” 

As i realize this baby is me i say “What? Can you please explain this to me?”

“Whats to explain? Youre dreaming man.” 

“But... no wheres she at?” 

Knowing exactly who im talking about he responds “does it matter?”

“Of course it does”

“Why? You left her, you said you didnt care anymore and she took your word.” 

“I know but ive been waiting isnt she waiting too?” 

“She did.... for a few years actually. Once she realized you werent coming for her she left.”

“NO... wait... this... this is a dream isnt it” 

And he laughs and laughs. I set the baby on the couch and punch my double in the face and i fly back falling to the ground. Through my blurry vision i see him smirk and he leans down and whispers into my ear

“The sun dont shine here no more, its all downhill from here.” He stand over me now and yells “WE’RE ALL YOU HAVE NOW” 

I close my eyes i hear the static on the tv and sure enough i begin to hear your name. I rub my eyes right before i open them and find myself looking into the mirror only now i have wrinkles in my face and all my hair is gray. As i look at myself i feel a tear fall from my eye. Its at that moment i realize I’m dressed for a funeral. I check my watch and realize if i dont leave now im going to be late. As i rush out of the bathroom it shifts to the funeral and im looking into a casket. While at the mirror i knew i was going to a funeral but i didnt know it was yours. Perhaps i tried to forget it so much that i forgot as i look at your face i still see the girl i fell in love with all them years ago as tears rush down my face my vision begins to get blurry.

“Why?” I whimpered

My vision clears for moments and i cant seem to look away from you. I dont want to leave your side again. Things could’ve been different. It’s at this moment i realize my love for you has never left. As i drop to my knees i feel a hand touch my shoulder. I look of to see ‘Berto. I take his hand and smile through my tears. As i stand he hugs me and i cant help but to cry on his shoulder. After a few mins he pulls away and tells me you left me a letter, its in another room. As i look through the room searching for the eyes of your mom, aunts and other family members and end up looking eyes with three people who seem confused by my actions and concerned as to who i am. Once i see your daughter i know these are your kids. She looked just like you. She had the same nose, and hair and they all had your lips. I approach them and ‘Berto introduces me

“This is Ellery Costa, him and your mother dated as kids.” 

“Hello” i say “im sorry for my tears, its just that ive been waiting since i was 23 to see your mother again and this is the first time since the last time.”

“Oo i understand...” your eldest son says 

“Is your father here? I would like to wish him well.” I said

The youngest says, “Well me and her have the same dad and he passed last year...”

And just then the eldest speaks up and says, “Hey, my names Ellery Preston Costa the Fourth. She gave me your name.” 

Just then i smile as more tears race down my cheek. I embrace him and say, “I didnt know i had any kids, im so sorry i wasnt there.”

And as i back away to look at him Roberto reminds me of the letter you left me. He hands it to me and it reads: 

 

Dear Ellery, 

I know you’ve always thought we were forever but I had different plans for myself. Im sorry i didnt tell you about your son, I only found out of him months after i left and i stayed up for nights dialing your number but never was able to call i knew it wasn’t right. Once he was born i figured youd had kids of your own and a wife and forgotten about me by then. When i look at him i cant help but think of you he has your smile, those same eyes, and sadly that hair. I met Olivia and Jadens father after he hit my car in the parking lot of the grocery store. He stayed to explain what happened and its funny but as mad as i was i couldnt help but smile, he just reminded me so much of you maybe it was the smile he had as i approached or the way he walked away ready to fight the world. I got his number from a card he left me to contact him for his info and eventually he took me on a date and idk everything about him was all the things you were but with so much less self doubt and so much less anger and idk before i knew it i felt like i had you, not you but this you that ive always wanted you to be. Sometimes i wish it couldve been you i lived my life with but fear of losing the bliss he gave me kept with him. Once the kids left for college, i found out he was cheating on me so i left him and i was so crushed and could only remember you saying “someone else can treat you as good as i do maybe even better, but no nigga will love you the way i do no one will love you this genuinely” and maybe you were right. My dream turned to a nightmare and i was left with an empty home and two kids that werent yours. As i sat in my bed most nights i wondered did you really wait for me like you always said you would?...

 

I stopped there and ran to the restroom. After crying for an hour i threw water in my face and dried my face off and when i opened my eyes i seen you, waiting for me ... I’ve died. I died, and to my memory’s i never married, i had one son whom id met for only a moment but i see you and this all leaves and all i can think of is that we can now spend forever together in bliss.


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