Her

She is nameless. She is untrackable. I guess that is her beauty; not being known.

Loneliness pierced sharp into my heart, embedding into my soul. I still remember the first time I saw her, an angel in its purest form. She was mesmerizing, carrying herself with an elegance unlike any other. She was surrounded by this aura, her form delicate. Her smile cannot be missed; her front tooth crooked and dimples grinded deep into her full cheeks. Her lips were a sweet shade of pink, soft as any cherry blossom.

However, just as every other thing, I am slowly forgetting her. I do not remember if she wore her dark brown hair long or if she tied her short black hair in a messy half- bun. I do not remember if softness escaped her lips or a voice loud unlike her existence. And I contiue to forget every eventual detail about her with the clock's pathetic, slow ticking.

I rest my tired head on my favorite cotton stuffed arm chair and gaze aimlessly into the ceiling, momentarily forgetting where I am. If I had known what the hell life was, I would've lived differently back then. I would've taken chances, diving head first into opportunities. I would've been merciful and grateful. I would've used my energy on exploring and discovering instead of asking and longing.

I let out a pitiful sigh, disappointed in myself immensely.

Oh. I just forgot what her eyes looked like. Did they sparkle or did they dip low in the ends?

I breathe in heavily, making a raspy noise through my nose. I looked down at my lap, wondering if I'd ever be able to run again. I was a man of the mountains and lakes. A man of pride and fury. Now I am a mere victim of life, nothing more than a paralytic caged inside four sturdy walls.

If I had been more aware, opened my eyes and ears to the world back then, maybe- just maybe- I could've seen her sooner, could've heard her longer. But I fail to accept reality as it is, a reality where her being may or not exist.

She seems to be here and there, then and now. Her existence seeps its way everywhere I look and no where at all. She is with me and I am without her. Her existence is a mystery I have being trying to solve. Little did I know, I was only wasting time- it was one of those things that have been left to the Universe never to be known by man.