Trials and tribulations

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

something i went through in my life.

Submitted: February 17, 2018

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Submitted: February 17, 2018



Trials and Tribulations


The last words I remember hearing from the man I so deeply loved “You raggedy a** b***h”. As I watched him walk back into our room in shock and dazed I tried to gather my thoughts and pick my face up off the floor. Replaying in my head the events that had just occurred.  He choked me and the only way I knew it was real was because my throat still felt like his arm was around it. I couldn’t understand why. Why he would accuse me of such accusations, why he would feel I’d do him that way. I was guilty but only for going out with my cousin because I hadn’t been for a while.

I remember texting him all night, walking around the casino clueless, randomly picking machines to sit at for almost an hour and a half, until my cousin got bored. Still texting him while heading out, I ended up seeing his cousin and all he said to me informing him about that was “cool”. Leaving the parking lot, we were trying to decide what to eat and in my head, I just knew I was gone too long, I knew I should’ve never left. We finally decided to go to McDonalds. We ended up sitting outside her house reminiscing on all the fun we used to have until she got tired of mosquitos eating at her like she was an open buffet.

To get home faster I took the freeway, literally falling asleep on the way, I texted him those words. He didn’t respond I thought if I let him know how tired I was he’d make so that I can come home and climb directly in the bed. I was wrong they had never even moved the chair off the bed from when my son was playing the Xbox. So, I laid where there was nothing at which happened to be in the living room. I guess I had dreamed that I told him about everything that had happened because he said I never told him. I was tired and irritated because he kept waking me up asking if I had fun. Obviously, the information I was giving wasn’t good enough.

At that point he had snatched the plug to the light out the wall and said, “you can’t even tell me truthfully if you had a good time, but I told you”. He walked in the room and slammed the door so hard it had gotten stuck the opposite way, and in order to get in I had to push and pull it to get it back right. He then says as I walk in “you act like you already slept with somebody”. That had upset me, so I grabbed my stuff and told him to leave. I grabbed my son up (he was sleep) I woke him up by pulling him to his feet.

I started walking towards the door thinking my son was behind me. As I made it to the screen door thinking he was still in the room. I realized he’d already caught me, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t yell, I couldn’t even move his arm. Finally, he dropped me on the floor and that’s when I heard the words “you raggedy a** b***h”. Six months pregnant with his child I couldn’t believe he’d accuse me of sleeping around. I was too loyal to him, too faithful. I couldn’t believe he’d harm me while I was pregnant with his child.

I felt in my heart it just had to be the last incident we encountered in our lives together. I left him and a week later he messaged me saying how him and his family wanted to be a part of the baby’s life and he missed me and wanted to come home. I was weak for him and wanted my family back together but I expressed I didn’t want anything else bad to go on between us. He told me what I needed to hear just so he could come back. I was a fool; my heart was weak for him. The heartache and abuse never ended, as long as i kept him in our lives.



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