My Disabling Illness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 18, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 18, 2018



My Disabilitating Illnesses


I should probably explain more about myself and my life, i tend to keep it all secret because i seem to be embarrassed a little or a lot about my health infact....


Let's Start From The Beginning


Asthma- 9 month old



  • I was diagnosed with Asthma and from the age of 1 till the age of 18 i have suffered from severe asthma. 
  • I have had countless visits to hospitals to the point they became my second home and i got sick of seeing them all the time to the point it would make me cry because it felt like i spent most of my time there. 
  • I have changed medications god knows how many times and some times it made me worse than it did better. 
  • My body couldn't handle the change which would make me sick
  • I missed out on school and all the fun childhood things kids would do because i was always to sick. Which sucked a lot 
  • A lot of people didn't understand during the age of 5- 10 so i didn't have many close friends you could say. 
  • I have had numerous health scares because of my asthma and stopped breathing once or twice but it never fazed me because i have had it my whole life. 
  • It got to the point i couldn't walk to the end of the street with out being breathless
  • I couldn't do Pe, my only exercise was basically putting food in my mouth or taking medications which sucked especially when your friends would ask you if you wanted to go for a walk but you couldn't because you sucked at breathing. 
  • My asthma is bad but that's not really important 


Hay Fever



  • The Hay fever came along with the asthma at a young age which sucks too because when that flares up then the asthma flares up which leads to a asthma attack an me not breathing properly.
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  • Diagnosed in either 2014-2015 i can't really remember.
  • It toke a lot from me and my life
  • Was mild to start with, apart from being tired and slightly sore all the time it was cope able for many years 
  • Until February 2017
  • I went to my last school ball had a fairly good time to be fair and the next day i woke up and couldn't walk
  • I borrowed crutches from a friend to help me get around because i could barely move my legs which crushed me- i had a drama exam coming up and being in crutches wasn't good
  • Luckily i had an appointment with a podiatrist and he gave me better crutches to use- not the one that goes under the armpit
  • My pain got worse as per usual 
  • July- I ended up renting a wheelchair because my pain was so bad to the point i could barely move them or pick them up off the ground 
  • I can't go to college or uni at the moment because of the illness so i am bedridden
  • I tried physio but it only made me worse than it did better which sucks for me
  • I tried a lot of things to get better but none of that worked. 
  • I missed out of so many things like i had to pull out of the school drama show and i had a lot of time off.
  • My memory got worse and found it harder to concentrate
  • Things are pretty bad at the minute you could say and i have to wait for OT and stuff to adapt the house because my muscles in my legs are dying and there's so much more to it.
  • September 2016- After my uncle died i ended up diagnosed 
  • Ever since i have had severe pains with it a lot of the time. 
  • It triggers off the Asthma and the ME all the time which sucks because it makes me feel worse all of the time. 
  • October 2017- I started having seizures on my brothers birthday and it scared the living hell out of me.
  • Ever since i have had so much problems come with it
  • Most of my memories have disappeared because of it- my grandad died in 2017 and my uncle 2016 and i can barely remember them and it breaks my heart. 
  • I can barely remember anything- my childhood, my 18th birthday party, Christmas, Holidays etc 
  • It effected my eating, some times i can't eat something because it is too rich for me and i get physically sick with it.
  • Severe head aches
I have so many problems with me and i don't even know what the causes of them are, i saw neurology etc and because of my seizures and my pain but they came back fine. Here is the list of the things i deal with daily.- it's a long list:
  • Hair loss- head and eyebrows
  • Headaches 
  • Problems Concentrating, thinking, remembering
  • Problems getting words together, writing a sentence( words getting mixed up) 
  • Sleep disturbance- restless and due to pain
  • Ear pain- Jaw pain- neck pain- Shoulder pain- Arm pain- Wrist pain- Finger pain- Thumb pain- Elbow pain- Whole back pain- Spine pain- Hip pain- Leg pain- Ankle pain- Hand pain- Knee pain
  • Cramps in arms and legs
  • Stabbing/ shooting pain through the body 
  • Weakness through out body
  • Muscle wasting (Legs)
  • Fatigue
  • Muscle spasms/twitching
  • Cold Feet
  • Balance problems ( Falling all over the place) 
  • Sensitive to light ( At times)
  • Sensitive to sound ( to a lot of noise) 
  • Flustered when too many people talk to me at once
  • Pressure on head ( migraine- i think) 
  • Seizures
  • Joint pain 
  • Decrease/ increase in appetitie
  • Feeling sick( At times) 
  • Loss of grip in hands- unable to pick things up- squeeze my hands- drop things. 
  • Pain when writing or typing( had to stop knitting) 
  • Physically and mentally tired
  • Sore throats ( at times) 
  • Flu- like symptoms
  • Sweat increase
  • Pains in legs to the point can't stand on them 
  • Numbness in legs 
  • pins and needles in legs ( at times) 
  • Can't feel legs ( at times) 
  • Pain on bum cheeks
  • Sensitive muscles ( to touch, to move) 
  • Tingling in foot and legs ( at times) 
Wow i have some serious problems... I some times think i could have fibromyalgia but i need to ask my doctor. It's hard to describe to people what is wrong with me because they don't understand and half the time i can't remember half the things wrong with me...
I have had so many people walk out of my life and i am so scared that i am going to be left to live my life alone unloved forever. I just want to be loved again ....


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