Mother Superior

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

After a series of childhood tragedies leaves her mind worse for wear, Lani Bapson has become broken, bitter, and arguably insane. In an attempt to "live", she convinces her best and only friend,
Dustin Seabic, to sleep with her. Dustin has only ever wanted one thing in his life: to skate in the Olympics with his partner Alice. He's put fourteen years' worth of blood sweat and tears into
his sport and is within sight of his goal. Life changes for everyone when it is discovered Lani is pregnant at sixteen. She must now face the ghosts of her past before they threaten her future.
Dustin, who has never understood how deep her scars reach, must stop Lani before she hurts herself and their child--something she seems hell-bent on doing.

**Originally posted on MissLit. Same title, same author, roughly the same story

Table of Contents

Hello and Goodbye

Submitted: February 18, 2018

******************** “This is my family.  I found it all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, s... Read Chapter


Submitted: February 18, 2018

Lani I watch him get in his truck and disappear down the road, knowing he's drunk.  He didn't seem very drunk, however, and I ha... Read Chapter

The Practice of Forgetting

Submitted: February 18, 2018

Dustin If you've ever had to play an instrument at a certain time, but there's a metronome in the room playing a different beat, then... Read Chapter

Multi-Colored Mirrors

Submitted: February 18, 2018

Lani I find him under the bleachers as I sometimes do.  He stands with his back facing the football field under the seats where ... Read Chapter

Daughter of the Morning

Submitted: February 18, 2018

Lani I don't have any friends. Not at school at least.  Outside of school, there's only Dustin.  Maybe Alice, but she's... Read Chapter

Little Shop of Impudence

Submitted: February 18, 2018

Lani Dustin comes for me around three.  He was at home on a day other than Sunday for the first time in forever, what with Alice... Read Chapter


Submitted: February 19, 2018

Lani "It's disgusting isn't it?" I ask Alice as we sit among the pillows and blankets in the bed of the truck, watching the huge driv... Read Chapter

This is the Way the World Ends

Submitted: February 19, 2018

Lani "Unfucking believable," Dust whispers to himself.  I wonder if he even knows I'm still in the room. I don't know what t... Read Chapter


Submitted: February 19, 2018

Dustin   I head into the bathroom after Lani falls asleep, curled up in a ball under about half the blankets from the linen ... Read Chapter

I'm Fine

Submitted: February 20, 2018

This chapter marks the end of part 1. I'm going to start uploading only one chapter a day instead of several as I've been doing. I'd love to hear any comments and/or suggestions. I'm not really
sure how the comments work on this site and I had an issue on another site where people were commenting and I had no idea, so I would appreciate people leaving some comments for me to find. I had
over 8000 reads on that other site and I'm interested in what this different audience thinks. Thanks for reading :)
Read Chapter

Days Like Poetry

Submitted: February 21, 2018

Part 2 Lani Every day I wonder what would happen if I sorta just . . . Jumped out of my second floor window into the shrubbery of... Read Chapter


Submitted: February 22, 2018

Lani   I wake up late for school.  It's not hard to believe considering I didn't set my alarm.  It's something tha... Read Chapter

Pity Shower

Submitted: February 23, 2018

Cheerleaders are slut shamed, normal girls are attention seekers. Weird girls whose mothers are dead and fathers are deadbeats are no... Read Chapter

When Tortillas Fly

Submitted: February 24, 2018

Dustin "Mehtab Dariush Rahmandust," Principal Darnel calls. My family cheers wildly for me, and I feel my face turn red.  La... Read Chapter

Can you Imagine?

Submitted: February 25, 2018

Dustin The morning of the Big Appointment, I wake up at four in the morning.  My body wakes up on its own, still following a str... Read Chapter


Submitted: February 25, 2018

Lani   Her stomach started to hurt, but everyone was too busy and stressed to lay down with her. “You’ll be fine, La... Read Chapter

Hope is for Suckers

Submitted: February 27, 2018

Lani   "Good morning, Dad," I say, hiding my shock as he comes down into the kitchen in one of those lazy, bachelor smoking ... Read Chapter

Saying Goodbye

Submitted: February 27, 2018

Lani   "I got a job," Dust announces as we pick our way through Home Depot's paint aisle.  He says it like he doesn't w... Read Chapter


Submitted: February 28, 2018

Dustin   With what Lani was screaming, it’s not at all surprising that I’m now sitting in the tiny security room of Home... Read Chapter

In Dreams

Submitted: March 01, 2018

Lani The screaming had her flying away from her toys running up the stairs and through her parents’ room.  Her mother was sitt... Read Chapter


Submitted: March 01, 2018

Dustin The smell of chemical ice, sweaty locker rooms, and rental skates fill me.  Most of the kids are dressed in parkas and wh... Read Chapter


Submitted: March 01, 2018

Dustin "Oh God," I groan, Dad following suit. "They're here." My mom cries out with excitement.  She doesn't share our dread... Read Chapter

Mirror, Mirror

Submitted: March 03, 2018

Lani "Excuse me, you're WHAT?!" I shout. Dad doesn't even bother to look at me or raise his voice. “I'm transferring you to Pia... Read Chapter

Just Breathe

Submitted: March 03, 2018

End part 2
Read Chapter

The School Song

Submitted: March 04, 2018

Lani "It could be worse," Dust observes. "I don't really see how." "Well," he looks me up and down, "the skirt could be plaid... Read Chapter


Submitted: March 04, 2018

Lani At my old school, I was looked at with pity.  Here I'm looked down on and slut shamed behind my back.  It's better tha... Read Chapter

What the Heart Knows

Submitted: March 04, 2018

Dustin "Are you sure this is a good idea?" I ask Lani as we drive down the hill and turn toward the freeway. She’s struggling t... Read Chapter


Submitted: March 06, 2018

Dustin “What’s got you so grumped up?” Alice asks. “Nothing.” “Riiight, so you’re just sitting in your bathtub,... Read Chapter

I'll Stand by You

Submitted: March 06, 2018

Lani She tried to color within the lines, but her hand never seemed to listen.  She grumbled as the yellow crayon slipped behind... Read Chapter

Old Friends

Submitted: March 10, 2018

Lani A couple weeks later he manages so drag me out and take me shopping for baby things, claiming that “the books” say we’re b... Read Chapter

Dinner Guests

Submitted: March 10, 2018

Dustin   “What do you want for dinner?” Mom asks as I pass by the kitchen even though it’s not even noon. I pause ... Read Chapter

Satan in a Convertible

Submitted: March 10, 2018

Lani   “How exactly did you know where I live?” I ask Morgan as we walk to the waiting car outside the small theater onl... Read Chapter

Spoiled Rotten

Submitted: March 11, 2018

Lani   I keep the windows rolled down in the limo and let the wind across my skin and through my hair.  I don’t care ... Read Chapter

Secrets and Time

Submitted: March 11, 2018

Dustin Lani texts me around eleven saying she’s on her way home.  I honestly didn’t think she’d be out so long.  She ... Read Chapter

Liar, Liar

Submitted: March 14, 2018

Dustin “You lied.” Lani jerks and puts her hand behind her back as she turns to face me.  Her face is bright and laughin... Read Chapter

Not About You

Submitted: March 14, 2018

Dustin “They told me you haven’t gotten out of bed all day.  Or turned on your phone,” a voice says from my doorway. “Th... Read Chapter

But in Dreams

Submitted: March 15, 2018

Beginning Part 4
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Submitted: March 15, 2018

Alice I go with him not only because he doesn’t let go of my hand, but because I can’t possibly think of being away from him in a... Read Chapter

NICU Lullaby

Submitted: March 22, 2018

Turns out I never had the wrong password, just the wrong email. I am guilty of the stupid.
Read Chapter

Waking Up

Submitted: March 22, 2018

Lani I wake up in a room with three peach colored wall and one blue.  Everything matches.  The blue quilt lying over me, th... Read Chapter


Submitted: March 22, 2018

Lani I unfold the boxes and throw them on the floor before turning around to face the room.  It’s been so long since I’v... Read Chapter

Go Home

Submitted: March 22, 2018

  THIS CHAPTER IS SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE THE LAST CHAPTER (Remembering). The order got messed up, don't know how.   ... Read Chapter

The Breaking and the Broken

Submitted: March 23, 2018

Dustin I’m wholly unsurprised to find that Lani’s kitchen door is left unlocked.  It’s probably been unlocked for the past... Read Chapter

Making Up

Submitted: March 23, 2018

Lani “Four pounds…” Nurse Ali says and adjusts the scale. “Four pounds and three ounces!  Oh, you're getting so big.&nbs... Read Chapter

One more Question

Submitted: March 23, 2018

Lani “You used to make that same Dr.  Evil face,” a voice says over my shoulder. “Did I?” I ask and look down at my ... Read Chapter

Not Sorry

Submitted: March 23, 2018

Dustin Alice comes in to bring me a certificate of purchase that I have to sign.  She hasn't been back to the NICU since Lani to... Read Chapter

Homeward Bound

Submitted: March 27, 2018

Lani “I’m going to go get the car warmed up,” Dust says, shouldering the yellow and green diaper bag and grabbing his keys. “... Read Chapter

Epilogue (part 1)

Submitted: March 30, 2018

Welcome to the first part of my very long epilogue. I'll be uploading part 2 later today just so everyone gets a chance to see the first one. I wrote this story about 3 years ago and it's still fun
to share it with everyone. Leave comments on how you liked it and stick around for more content to be uploaded within a few weeks!
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Epilogue (part 2)

Submitted: March 30, 2018

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