The distant memory

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Lost and confused, a man walks through an empty town. The town reminds him of a distant memory of a better life...

Submitted: February 21, 2018

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Submitted: February 21, 2018

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I’m walking through streets that look familiar but I cannot recognize them.
The streets are wet with rain falling from the dark grey sky on a cold winter day.
I’m walking over the wet and slippery cobblestones.
My boots are wet and I can feel the water soak slowly into my socks, making my toes feel numb.
I’m walking, but I forgot where I’m walking to.

My mind is a blur and my thoughts are running wild. I try to control myself and not let the rage out that has been building up inside me.
Maybe I am losing my mind?
All this because of a woman.
Her name, only four letters short, powerful, yet soft as silk. I whisper it. Like I do every day at least a hundred times. I don’t even notice it anymore. Sometimes it happens when I take a deep breath and her name just rides out on the flow of air.
I shake my head and try to erase the thought of her. It just hurts too much thinking of her.

 

At the end of the street, I go around the corner and I see a cat, soaking wet and shivering, sitting in front of a door in the rain.
The cat, a black one with bright green eyes, is scratching the large wooden door, but nobody opens the door for him. I walk up to the cat and stop next to him. I assume it’s a he, but I don’t really know.
The cat looks up to me and meows.
I knock on the door and wait… No answer.
I bend my legs and pet the cat.
The cat seems to like it.
I walk away. I turn into the next street and walk wherever my feet are taking me.
I’m lost and I don’t care. Not even the cold rain is bothering me today.
All I can think of is where did I go wrong? My decisions were the best ones I could make, yet everyone I loved is hurt now and I lost everything.
I tried to find the golden path. A way to deal with it with minimum damage to everyone.
And I know, I’m 100% sure that I had found that path, but still…
Everyone is hurt, with her being hurt the most.

 

I hear a sound behind me, so I stop and turn. Nothing?
Then, another sound. I look down and there is the cat. It followed me.
Why did the cat follow me?
It meows again and is shivering from the cold rain that drained its fur.
I open my long winter coat. A cold breeze enters my jacket and chills my chest.
So cold… Yet not  as cold as my heart is…
I lift up the cat and stuff him inside my jacket. I close my jacket.
The cat is wriggling around in my jacket. It tickles.
The cat plops up its head out of the opening at the top. He looks at me and as a thank you, licks my nose with its raw tongue.

 

I start to walk again. I end up near a beach.
Nothing looks so depressing as an empty beach during wintertime.
The water looks grey. Its waves are high and slam down onto the beach. It seems even the sea is unleashing its rage, but I try to keep mine in.
I decide to keep walking.
I follow the road that leads me to a small park.
The park is deserted and looks dead.
The trees have lost their leaves and are just sticks, growing from the muddy ground.

 

I walk over a narrow pathway through the park and start to realise that I have been here before.
But when I was here last time, the trees were still in bloom and the sun was shining. Birds where chirping and children where playing… There was even someone holding my hand as we walked together over the same path that I am walking down alone now…
It was her, holding my hand… Her green eyes were flickering  in the light and her pink hair was showing multiple colours. It looked like a mesmerizing rainbow!
She’s wearing dark red lipstick. My favourite and she knows it. She’s wearing it because she loves to tease me. And the smell… Oh God that smell!
Hypnotize I believe the perfume is called… Oh that smell sets me on fire.

 

She isn’t tall. But that’s okay because neither am I.
She might not be the most beautiful woman in the world, but to me, she is.
To me she is the personification of the word beauty.
That day, my world was perfect. I didn’t need anything else than her by my side.

 

She would tell me stories about her sad life. And let me tell you, her stories could break your heart.
Her stories about her home country, how she lost her friends, how she can’t see her family and how her country turned her into a villain, only because she loves her country, can even make the toughest man cry.
I whisper her name once more as I walk through the park.
The wind picks up and the cat shivers inside my jacket.
I keep on walking.

 

Her voice is echoing on the wind. It says my name and my heart skips a beat when I think I hear it.
I look around, but there’s no one to be seen.
I continue to walk.

 

After exiting the park, I see a hotel. It’s named the Park Hotel. This was the hotel where we had spend so many days and nights together…
I look through the window and I see that the hotel closed down. Just like everything else, the Park Hotel is now just a fading memory to what was once a perfect world.

 

How could I have been so stupid?
Our feelings grew for one another and she opened up her heart to me.
And what did I do as a response? I pushed her away and broke her heart, because I thought my actions would be best for all of us.
In the end everything shattered around me. I was the bird in a green house. In the end, all the windows in the greenhouse were shattered, and the bird was left wounded and alone.

 

So I walk these empty streets, in search of a faded memory of when times were better.
Trying to catch a glimpse of your beauty.
To walk the streets in the hope you walked them before me, so I can smell your perfume one last time.
Hoping, wishing to see you again in the reflection of one of the windows in these houses.
But deep in my heart I know, that you are gone.

 

I arrive at my home.
I open the door and enter. I open my jacket and the cat jumps out. He stands still and looks around. His tail high up in the air and his nose sniffing the new smells.
He walks around.

 

I take off my shoes and jacket and walk into the kitchen where I prepare a small platter with milk for the cat.
The cat comes to me and jumps up the kitchen counter.
I look at the cat and pet him.
Him? I take a good look at the cat… It’s a she!
I guess I was wrong all along about the cat…
A she…
No collar around her neck. No owner.
I guess she can stay with me if she wants…
But what to name you?

 

The only name that pops up in my head is… her name…
You do have the same eye colour…
And a similar cute nose.
Perhaps this is faith... From now on kitty cat, your name will be…


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