The Cashmere Series

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 24, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 24, 2018

A A A

A A A


c a s h m e r e

 

c a s h m e r e

s a t i n

yellow ivy (white linen, rose red)

w a n d e r l u s t

________________________

Niles doesn't have a lot of love, doesn't want a lot of love. He's okay with standing on street corners, a cigarette perched on his lips, the only thing keeping him warm. The smell intoxicates him, just about the closest friend he's got. He's wearing his Sunday-best clothes on a Friday night, planning to do less than holy things as soon as someone snaps at him to come back inside. But it's a quiet night, his place shadowy enough, illuminated by the orange glow of a street lamp. He busies himself in his mind, not that he enjoys it. His mind is a black hole of bad experiences, swallowing anything even remotely happy and sinking into his heart like teeth into flesh.

 

He misses the sunshine, misses the ocean, misses those special rough hands. He misses too many things to really feel anything anymore. Not that he cares, his profession doesn't really allow him to feel much other than disgust and disappointment. He thinks he deserves it. Deserves being left, deserves whoring himself out for a few bills that don't even go in his pocket. He gets the scraps while the wolves feast on the carcass he brought down.

 

He's sure to stay calm on the outside as his insides churn with hate. Hate for what, exactly? Everything. He takes a drag of his cigarette, a long one that soothes his burning nerves and whispers cashmere to his hate, taming it, molding it into something docile. Still there, just simmering once again. He leans his head on the wall, old bricks, a little grimy but that's okay. Niles is more than a little dirty as is. He knows he'll be called back in soon, so he snubs the rig out on his upper arm, grits his teeth at the pain until there's an irreversible mark on his tattered skin.

 

Just in time, he rolls his sleeve down when Joshua calls him back in. He walks up the steps unwillingly, the familiar stench of bad sex covered by lavender not comforting. He tells Niles he's got a client in thirty minutes. Sniffs him and scoffs, says he smells like a human ashtray and should bathe before he gets his ass kicked. Niles considers slapping Joshua for more than a second, but obliges, a bitter part of him thankful. He makes sure the bath water is hot enough to have him hissing, especially when he submerges his fresh burn. He's more than sure that his client is the middle-aged man with the big nose and three ex-wives. No kids. The man visits him every other Friday, as soon as his check rolls his way. He washes with peppermint body wash, knowing a bill or two might come his way as a secret tip.

 

He enters his room with damp hair, the air humid and smelling still of sex. He's left only in his robe, a fluffy hotel-style one, cut short to his mid-thigh. He waits for his client longer than expected. He huffs, not liking it one bit. The man is never late, always on the dot, always eager to take Niles in any way he can have him (which is every way, as long as he pays well). He toys with the hem of his robe for another fifteen minutes before the door creeks. Hiding his irritation behind a false innocent face, the mask drops when he sees who's at his door. Familiar (and comforting) three o'clock in the morning winter hair, tall and slim figure, has patched up every scar. Hands that touch corpses in ways that will never touch him. His legs are frozen, body suddenly raked by chills and eyes blurring because Sebastian is here. Oh fuck, oh finally. Sebastian is here after years gone, he's here to take Niles away, to love him and only him. He's back for him, Niles always knew he'd come back for him.

 

He's his forever, his miles traveled and unexplored. His daytime secret, his nighttime comfort; cashmere lined and perfectly fitted for him, only him, just him.

 

Sebastian stares at him with hungry eyes and a tempting mouth. He's got a new scar nicking his left eyebrow in two uneven parts. His eyes are a little bloodshot like he's been up all night waiting for Niles, dreaming of Niles. Niles gets up on surprisingly sturdy legs, his body feels split in between feeling numb and feeling everything. His bottom lip quivers, tears only fall when he's embraced by Sebastian's arms. The closeness of their bodies fills something in Niles, something that has been missing for years, something he hadn't realized was empty until Sebastian returned.

 

He thinks he's the only one crying, until Sebastian brings his face to his, presses their foreheads together in a rare display of soft affection. His hands grip Niles' face hard, afraid to let go as if he will be the one to vanish. Sebastian buries his nose into Niles' white hair, whispers 'I missed you'.

"It's okay, it's okay," he whispers back, "I'm here, you're here. It's all I need." He bites his lip, toying with the small hairs on Sebastian's nape. "It's all I really need."

 

A hand falls to Niles' waist, wraps around it and squeezes on tight.

 

 

It takes a total of thirty minutes for Sebastian to return to his usual self. Which means Niles is whisked away to the passenger seat of a stolen car. They drive for who knows how long; the road's empty save for two or three stray cars here and there. There is a red tint to every light passing by, cashmere -- so loving, so nice -- wrapping Niles up. Cashmere is the feeling of Sebastian's hand on his thigh, never inching higher or lower. He only realizes how much weight he has lost when Sebastian comments on it, one hand able to wrap around half of his thigh, two hands to circle them completely.

 

Niles spends the car ride not asking where they're going, only locks the giddy, child-like feeling in his stomach beneath his mask. His mask is one that he wears often, one that is cool, calm, a predatory glint only subtle in his eyes. A cat-smirk on his lips, just barely upturning the corners of his mouth. A cold mask at first glance, a terrifyingly playful one once stared at long enough. Not that there's anyone to stare at Niles, other than Sebastian; who's busy humming an obscure song and driving. He's always been a focused driver, never one to speak much only during these times. He likes it enough, especially when he has a view of his clenched jaw, mold-green eyes sharp and tunnel-visioned. The only time Sebastian doesn't have a smirk playing a twisted game on his lips.

 

Niles breathes in the red light deeply, unsure if it is a small hallucination or how the world has always looked. Anyway, the world always seems different -- just a tad -- when Sebastian is around. He notices things that he normally doesn't. He starts to think like a hunter when Sebastian is around. And he is the only prey Sebastian doesn't slaughter. Sebastian toys with him, and Niles might just purr at the idea of being toyed with, played like an instrument. He shouldn't revel in such a thought, but it makes his blood boil and stomach twist with a feeling he rarely experiences.

 

Anger.

 

It's a nice change from the monotonous cycle of hatred, self-hatred, and disgust.

 

They arrive at a nice hotel, up-scale. With crown molding and marble flooring and those random beams of wood here and there for the aesthetic. Even in his best clothes, Niles is sure that he sorely stands out. Sebastian, on the other hand, is dressed cleanly. A simple button up and a pair of slacks, black dress shoes so clean Niles could see his distorted face. A simple outfit, yes, but all high-quality materials, like he is a CEO of a major company instead of a runaway, town-hopping criminal. Sebastian puts a hand on the small of his back, walks him to the room. People stare and sneer at them, unused to openly affectionate fags in their hallways.

 

He yanks Niles into an empty elevator going up, closes the doors before any of the other people can climb in. With them all alone, Sebastian starts his game. Hooks one of Niles' legs around his hips, a strong hand holding the bottom of his thigh, fingers digging into denim. He holds Niles back by the throat when the man tries to kiss him. He feels a thumb tracing over the delicate bones of his neck. Sebastian has his smirk on his lips, the lips Niles oh so desperately wants to bite. Bite until he tastes iron on his tongue.

 

He lets out a pathetic whine, body going slack under Sebastian's control, trying to fool him into giving Niles what he wants. It doesn't work, he's too sharp to fall for Niles' tricks anymore. He stares at him with heavy-set eyes, mouth dropping open slightly, tongue peeking out, tempting. Sebastian finally pecks him on the lips, a brief thing that doesn't satisfy Niles at all, only turns him from hungry to starving. 

 

The ding and stopping of the elevator ruins their moment, but Sebastian's smirk turns into a wide, all-teeth-no-warmth grin. There's a childlike joy in his eyes that has Niles almost second-guessing himself.

 

Almost.

 

His room hasn't been tampered with, the cloying smell of vanilla (Niles' favorite) barely covering the smell of death. It doubles when Sebastian opens the door to the bathroom, which is a mess of blood and bleach. The body already cut up and dried of blood, is in the bathtub. The head, on the other hand, is in the sink, face down. Sebastian, with a mischievous smile and already hard, passes the head to Niles. He catches it easily, his stomach turning with disgust at the smell, but his heart sighs at it. He stares at the unfocused eyes, cloudy and dead; a walk in the park compared to other decapitated heads that Sebastian has sent his way in the past. Almost got himself caught for mailing a kid's head, eyes full of maggots and mouth full of worms, to Niles' doorstep.

 

Niles tsks at the flayed skin of the face, "You play too much."

 

His disappointment only fuels Sebastian, something they've both known for years. "Guess who this man is," when Niles shrugs, he groans, "just guess!"

 

"Someone that bumped into you on the streets."

 

"He's your pimp."

 

Niles' face drops and Sebastian chuckles. His chuckle is a dark thing, dark chocolate, bitter yet delicious, urging for another taste. He's not sure why he is so focused on Sebastian's laugh at such a time, but his ears yearn for more, his body missing something. A no is all he can manage. His knees feel weak when he takes in the naked body, skin still intact and looking familiar.

He approaches Niles, doesn't bother to catch the head falling to the ground. Hands make their way to his smooth cheeks, rough thumbs rubbing in circles, soothing. His smile turns soft, cashmere in tone says, "Of course, baby."

 

Niles grips onto him tightly with both arms, breathes in his smell. It calms his nerves more than cigarettes do, about the closest friend he's got.

 

 

Niles stays back when Sebastian goes to dispose of the body in whatever way he does to not get them caught. He cleans the bathroom thoroughly, scrubs from floor to ceiling. Sebastian has left him with bottles upon bottles of bleach. Even with the hotel windows open, the stench cuts at his nose, makes him drowsy. This doesn't stop Niles from doing his work, he makes sure it's done to beyond perfection. Only the best for Sebastian.

 

He returns to a clean hotel room at eight o'clock. Ruins Niles hard work by taking a long shower. Asks if Niles wants in, a cocked brow, cocky tone, and an even cockier smirk. It's not Niles' fault that his face heats up at the suggestion. For all the years he has known Sebastian, he has never seen the man naked. They have never gotten further than a few kisses, Sebastian too focused on keeping Niles pure in his eyes. Like that even matters anymore. Niles has crawled through dirt and grime for him, has broken others' —and his own— bones for him, has whored for him.

They don't leave right away, instead, spend hours watching shitty TV. Sebastian is far back, head resting on the pillows, calm breaths overriding the noise of the TV in Niles' senses. He, himself, is at the edge of the bed. Sebastian's got a hand around the back of his thigh, stroking it idly. He's a lot more touchy than Niles remembers, he always hovers around Niles when they're together, always has to have a hand on him. Not in any sexual way, just like Niles is home and Sebastian has been running to find him.

 

More like running away.

 

This is a nice moment, something that Niles doesn't get a lot of, so he quells his anger. Forgets about everything past and future. He leans into Sebastian's touch –

 

"Whore," the word and tone are obtrusive to the mood. Niles' eyes snap open, he turns around to glare at Sebastian, who has a small smile upturning the corners of his mouth.

 

Niles almost snaps at him but instead clambers next to him. Laying his head on Sebastian's chest, he traces the delicate bones of his neck. He imagines breaking them, little bird bones that wouldn't take much effort. Not much effort at all. He feels one out with two fingers, grabs it between his thumb and index. Sebastian's chest rumbles underneath him, sounding more like a cat's purr than anything human.

 

Not that Sebastian is human. He's already proved it well enough.

 

They both know that he knows what's going on in Niles' head. Which is exactly why Sebastian is the one now leaning into his touch, baring his neck for his hands to explore. Niles takes it one step further and sucks a bruise onto the unblemished almost-alabaster-pale skin. He gets shoved off the bed quicker than both men realize was possible. His head narrowly avoids the nightstand, but no such luck was given for the wall he tumbles into. By now, he's used to rough treatment, so he takes it in stride and launches himself at the only serial killer in the room.

 

It ends as well as it sounds.

 

It ends with Sebastian having a hand wrapped around his throat, leaving only a small patch of dark skin to sink his teeth into. Niles allows himself to yelp, hoping he has enough sympathy left for him. It doesn't work. If anything, Sebastian is egged on by the mini-cry and bites hard enough that Niles fears that his bones will break. He struggles against him, manages to get a leg free and kick him in the stomach. Sebastian takes it like it was something minor. He releases Niles' now bloody skin, only to kiss and lick upwards to his mouth. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth, tugs at it until it splits.

 

It's only when Niles bites back that he stops, hand still wrapped around his throat. He sneers, "What are you, twelve?"

 

"You didn't have to push me," Niles pouts, earning him a quick kiss.

 

"No, I didn't, but I wanted to." Sebastian answers, simple as it is, breaks something inside him. Fear finally builds up in him, after years and years of viewing the man do horrendous things, it only took a few words for Niles to reach his limit.

 

Maybe it's because he's heard those words before. And maybe they were directed to his father.

 

~

 

His mother wasn't a nice lady. Wasn't a lady at all, more like a bitch with a sadistic streak. She never loved Niles, never enveloped him in cashmere-love. It's no wonder why a then twelve-year-old Niles decided to leave. Unfortunately for him, he found Sebastian's father. Fortunately for him, he found an eager to please fourteen-year-old Sebastian. Lucky for both, his father has a lot of enemies to pin the blame on.

They visit Niles' childhood house. It's a quaint thing, simple design, and a clean yard. Doesn't stand out among the rows of blue-collar homes. The only difference is that in Niles' eyes, this house has a red glow to its white walls, and missing all hints of cashmere. Sebastian says they've got to come back to purify Niles, which means Niles subtle hallucinations aren't the only thing that will be red.

 

The walk up the three short stairs seems arduous, anticipation buzzes right under the surface of his skin. He imagines maggots turning into flies, trapped in his body. He's a walking corpse, feels like it every time Sebastian is away and every time Sebastian is close. But he feels a special sense of decaying when he approaches his mother. This kind of festering rot that's worse than the maggots and flies under his skin. It drains him of what little youthful beauty he has left, and he knows Sebastian senses that by the uncommon scowl disgracing his face.

 

He doesn't bother to knock, the old key hanging like a pendant around his neck finally put to use. He knows his mother is too lazy to change the locks, even after she kicked him out of the house thirteen years ago. It works, the lock turns and the door creaks open, a gateway to a hellish past Niles never wants to return to. He doesn't waste time to step in, explore the house once again, a snarl now a permanent fixture on his face. The smell of second-hand smoke and underlying mold brings him back to the night of rubbing his skin raw until blood mixed with water and neither were thicker than the other.

 

His mother is a little more than surprised and pissed when she sees him round the corner to the old kitchen. She has a half-smoked cigarette in her left hand, elbows propped up on the table and a book in the right. Her head snaps up quick, the deep dark wrinkles of her face intensify and her dead eyes light up with recognition. Being older, she is slow to run for the porch door, Niles making easy work of knotting his fist in her permed hair and bringing her head down to the table. His grip doesn't let up, only squeezes the strands tighter and tighter until he has his bitch of a mother crying out. Sebastian watches from a distance, his jaw set and eyes a kind of wide hungry. Niles isn't sure what's he hungry for.

 

He lets Sebastian take over, and he does so in stride. Niles is never not amazed by how fluid his movements are, experience and control an obvious feature. He drags Niles' mother down to the worn carpet, hovering above her with a hand on her neck. Niles shivers, fingers ghosting over the ugly mark on his neck. He watches as Sebastian sneers in her face, spitting venom, the intensity so strong Niles is surprised his mother isn't crying. It's no matter, because Sebastian carves into her throat with a switchblade, so deep he cuts her vertebrae apart.

 

Anger starts from deep within Niles, boiling his blood to vapor. He has watched, has witness Sebastian torture people he's just met. And for Niles' mother, he should have come up with even worse things to do to her. Drag it out, day one, day two, day three. Should have taken his time on her; flay her. Drown her, bury her alive. Watch her burn. Something, anything other than giving her a quick death, an easy way out.

 

Sebastian collects his mother's blood on a finger in a graceful swipe, bringing to Niles' lips. His mouth closes around his finger in a tentative manner, coy eyes studying the hard lines of Sebastian's face. The blood tastes briny, feels like double-edge razor-sharp cashmere, cutting into the layers of his tongue. Sebastian tilts his head up, clearing the way to see the absolute livid gleam in his eyes. He doesn't mind it, though, takes Niles' lips with his, a slow, intimate kiss; in jarring juxtaposition to the dead woman still trickling blood.

 

Niles can't control the burning pit any longer, bites viciously at Sebastian's bottom lip. Blood mixes in with the coppery aftertaste, renewing it. He groans, if Niles had his eyes open he would have seen the playful fury in his chilling eyes. Sebastian takes a total of three seconds to savor his energy before pushing him away. Niles stumbles into the wall, a dazed look on his face. This time, Sebastian wastes none to savor anything, all too eager to wrap his calloused hands around Niles' tempting throat.

 

He squeezes hard, harder than is necessary. He wants to see bruises stand stark against dark skin, wants Niles' pain on his tongue, digging into his roots, his bones, his being. Sebastian gets caught up in his own head, barely paying attention to the nails clawing at his face.

 

Niles wants to breathe, tries to pry Sebastian's hands off. When that doesn't work, he opts to kick him. When that doesn't work, he tries digging his nails into the man's face. Nothing works, and his world starts to blur around the edges, black spots taking over. He reaches a certain point where fear evades him, he's left staring at Sebastian's smirking face, those lips are always upturned in a taunting way. That smile feels like cashmere.

 

s a t i n

 

c a s h m e r e

s a t i n

yellow ivy (white linen, rose red)

w a n d e r l u s t

________________________

 

There's a cigarette between his skeletal fingers

Toxic smoke wrapping them both in soft satin that kills both boys slowly, slowly

The whore has a Russian roulette smirk on his weary face

In a sultry tone:

Honey, do you want to die?

 

The troubled boy, pale as a corpse

No blood in his veins, only ice

He smiles, cashmere around the edges

In a dark forest timber:

 

He'll die by my hands today,

And you one day, too

I'll crush your neck with these hands.

 

With satin in his moldy eyes, satin in his chilling voice:

 

Honey, do you want to die?

If so, stay.

 

yellow ivy (white linen, rose red)

 

c a s h m e r e

s a t i n

yellow ivy (white linen, rose red)

w a n d e r l u s t

___________________________

White

Sebastian doesn't know why out of everyone, it's an unremarkable Niles that catches his soul between spindly fingers. He's got white hair, dyed pure, fake pure, he pretends to be pure. But Sebastian knows his father sells the boy to strange men with no love in their souls. It's okay, though. As long as Niles keeps his eyes on him, and the whites of those eyes never turn red, they'll be fine.

 

Linen

Sebastian would never use Niles, no matter how many times he wakes up in a cold sweat and the image of a certain whore etched into his mind. He turns over, face shoved in linen sheets, imagining Niles face down in white linen, matching his hair, in sharp contrast with his skin. He imagines Niles all in red, unsure of if red in attire or red in blood.

 

Rose

Sebastian gives him a white rose the first time he talks to Niles. After weeks, almost two months of fantasies he's not disappointed, surprisingly. He trips over into infatuation with Niles' awkwardly cocky disposition. He's startled by the whore's personality, pleased with himself that Niles is just as attached to him as Sebastian is to Niles. The next time he sees him, he'll give him a red rose, one to ground his bleeding heart in reality.

 

Red

He deposits a mixture of yellow roses and ivy on Niles' unmarked grave. Unlike anyone else, he decided to bury Niles whole, something he didn't even do when he killed his father. But Niles is different, the one person Sebastian would dare say he cared for. He buried Niles in an open field, giving him space to enjoy the stars overhead, far away from the city. He would've gotten Niles a red rose, but he's already professed his love to him.

Yellow and ivy for peace of Sebastian's mind.

 

w a n d e r l u s t

 

c a s h m e r e 

s a t i n

yellow ivy (white linen, rose red)

w a n d e r l u s t

________________________________

 

he's got wanderlust in his veins / his suburbs just don't have the nails to scratch the itch under his skin/ her nails don't scratch his back hard enough / her body is too warm / she makes too much noise / heavy /  heavy / heavy / breathing / low moans / her body moves too much / she's too familiar / too used / the town too familiar / the town too used / just doesn't have the nails to scratch his skin deep enough//

 

so he leaves / he leaves the special whore with a pretty face and prettier body / opts to hop in his late father's car and drive off / he doesn't know where he's going / but that's the reason he ends up in louisiana four days later / and he meets her in a coffee shop / a quaint little thing / with hidden beauty / a rustic design / reminds him of niles //

 

 

/// what's your name? ///

/// sebastian / and you? ///

///  letha ///

/// well / you're awful pretty / wonder why you're waiting on someone ///

/// huh / that obvious? ///

/// crystal clear / why don't you do something fun with a stranger? I promise I won't bite ///

 

 

they leave for sebastian's hotel / the woman all too eager / lets him place an able hand on her warm thigh / the wanderlust under sebastian's skin has his stomach coiling with anticipation / he imagines her in his ideal way / a taboo way / with her sundress off / makeup wiped off / peaceful looking in death / perfect //

 

it doesn't take long for sebastian to kill her / knocked her head against the corner of the bathroom counter / she faints / now perfect for sebastian to take his time undressing her / caresses her soft skin / bites down on her neck / the blood cuts through his tongue / he daydreams of someone else when he //

 

when he finishes / he's done with her / fills the bath with warm water / slits her throat and watches her gag / gurgle / choke / spit/ he loves sending niles presents / even when he's over a thousand miles away / in a different state / he sends him a ring / her ring / a nice ring / encrusted with diamonds / niles could pawn it for some money //

 

he cleans the bathroom thoroughly / niles no longer with him to help / he leaves the same day / with the cut up body in his car / the sky matches his hair / the moon matches niles' hair / by the time it falls down / he's in alabama / with red soil / hoping to color his skin red / not yet / though / he's got to cool down a bit / decides to check into an expensive hotel and eats and sleeps for three full days //

 

he brings another woman over / a sixteen-year-old thinking she's smart / so clever / attractive enough to garner the attention of an older man / things don't go as planned / as she failing against the restraints on her wrists / he's choking her, feeling her get tighter / tighter / tighter / until she goes completely slack in under twenty minutes //

 

he has a run-in with the police six weeks later in South Dakota / nothing much / nothing much at all / no big deal / none whatsoever / ends up with blood on sebastian's hands and a dead officer / the officer looks better dead than alive / and it's not the first time sebastian is caught in taboo pleasure / it's the second time //

 

the first time is when he was twelve / before niles was under his father's thumb / the night his mother died / his aunt / really / his aunt was the one to raise him while his mother was out on the streets / and his father in his office //

 

his aunt was a plain-looking lady / no wit nor looks / dry as his father's old tricks / but / she meant the world to a young sebastian / showed him the shadow of what is was like to be loved / he just wanted to return the favor / she made him feel so good / why can't he make her feel good ///

 

his father hangs her when he catches the sight of them / he doesn't beat sebastian / no / no / no / he makes him watch as they strung her up / his father hissing in his ear //

 

// look at what you've done, do you feel happy now? //

 

sebastian may have loved his aunt / yet the sight of her gasping for air / pleading eyes bulging / until a violent tug of wire snapped her neck / had him hiding his indecency / biting his lip / pink-red climbing up his neck and settling high on his cheeks //

 

his father avoided him even more after that //

 

he sends the head of the officer to niles / makes sure to fill his mouth after severing it from the body / before he ships in to niles / he's on a constant move after that / develops a taste for the peculiar / finds either tricks or people that look like someone he knows / fucks them until he has them screaming in pleasure / cuts into them until he has them screaming in pain / strangles them until he has them gasping for breath //

 

he doesn't want to go back to niles until he is completely positive on what he wants to do with him / 

 

fuck him ///

maybe / 

kill him ///

yes //

kill him ///

yes //

fuck him ///

oh / yes //

 

the wanderlust in his veins / under his skin starts to fade after two years / the itch replaced by something else //

longing ///

homesickness ///

homesickness //

 

so he drives back / more than definitively positive that niles will take him back / just where sebastian left him / oh / he'll take him back / in the same place he left him in //

 

 


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