Mistake

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


I think my first mistake was to trust you

Submitted: February 26, 2018

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Submitted: February 26, 2018

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I think my first mistake was to trust you

My second was to lie to myself

And my last was to lie to everyone else

I know the way people would look at us

And wonder if I was okay

The way I thought I could solve their doubt

Was to lock myself in a cage

And just put on a show

All they saw was a happy couple

What they didn’t see was the bruises

The fights, the alcohol.

Telling myself in the mirror

That you loved me,

While I was tending to my wounds.

 

I would cause worry sometimes.

I would stay in the house for too long

And people would start to worry

And start to talk.

That would just make him more angry.

Really all it really was, though

Was me just waiting for my bruises to heal enough

So I can cover them up with makeup

I mean I can’t go out all swollen,

What would people think?!

 

The journey with us was long

We started off on a happy, big road

You and I held hands, happy

Suddenly you tugged me down another road

One that was dark and lonely

But you continued to hold my hand

So I just told myself you loved me

That was when I committed the first mistake

To trust you

 

As we walked down the road,

Your grip grew tighter

And you would randomly pull me to you

Violently, more and more often.

Then you started to trip me

Every time I stumbled, you would laugh

I shook it off, every time

Hoping it was all a joke.

Then you suddenly started to spin me

We danced down the dark road

All of my worries fade away,

“It was just like old times,” I thought

He wouldn’t dance with me if he didn’t love me!

Then you dropped me,

More like let go of me,

Actually you kinda threw me to the ground.

I fell and cried, and you laughed.

“Oh its okay”, I thought, “he didn't mean to, right??”

“He probably lost his grip or something.”

I pulled myself up, and started to walk again

You would play that sneaky trick on me

Over and over

Everytime I would tell myself it’s fine

I mean, you loved me, right???

My second mistake- to lie to myself

 

People would start appearing on the road.

Their faces seemed afraid for me

They would see how you held me close and whispered sweet nothings

Then drop me to get up by myself

First, it was only strangers I saw

“They don’t know me,” I thought, “They don’t understand him like I do.”

Then their faces morphed into something else

Someone else

First I saw my mother’s face, worried

As time went on I saw my father’s

Then my sister’s

And I saw my friends’ faces, as well

They would all shoot me looks

Silent ones that said

“If you need us, we’re here”

But I would shake my head and laugh

Even as I got cuts and bruises

They don’t get it though, that’s how he loves me!

“I’m fine guys, we’re in love!!”

They would respond with nervous smiles

And nod their heads.

They didn’t believe me,

The more they worried, the more irritated I got

How could they not see? He loves me!

Eventually their faces faded away

As mine became more bruised

As the days went on
Their faces started to fade away

Every once and awhile they would come back

But leave again

They began to believe I was okay

That was my final, fatal mistake- to lie to everyone else.

 


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