Hello My Name Is: Things I Never Intended To Write Down

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

While writing this, I decided to share my story on the mental issues I go through. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

Submitted: February 27, 2018

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Submitted: February 27, 2018



Hello my name is Anxiety! And I have come to destroy you. I take over when depression does not accomplish the mission. You see anxiety knows your EVERY weakness. The way you see yourself in the mirror. The way you think the world views you. You think people are out to get you. You think your friends are always talking about you whenever you're around. That's me.--- I have anxiety. For years I've struggled with anxiety, I wouldn't say it only gets me at my worst, but at every public event, it doesn't matter if it's a birthday party, a concert, or a poetry slam! Anxiety somehow finds its way into my atmosphere. That's when I start to shut down, I feel the eyes of people looking at me, even though they're not. That's what it does to you. It makes you want to crawl into a deep enough hole beneath the earth's surface. So far down you hope no one notices you've left. But don't worry, anxiety isn't the only one! Your world becomes dark and full of hopelessness! With anxiety around it only makes matters worse! So you hide, trying to get away! But it follows you! Just like anxiety, its the one sending you messages telling you, "you're not loved and you know it!", "I will get in your head!", "Your medication can't save you this time!" Now depression fully introduces itself. Hello my name is Depression! And I've come to make your life a living hell! I will make sure your existence here on Earth more miserable than it already is. It doesn't matter how many therapy sessions you have or how great your psychiatrist is on giving you ways to cope with me! I still will always be there! Even when you think I'm gone. I'm not. I'm the dark alley that never ends. Its like you're the puppet and depression is pulling your strings. You know longer make any of your decisions anymore! Suddenly, you feel a total loss of who you are. You always force a smile on your face when family is around, but no one knows the truth on what's really going on! They don't see the pain or suffering! And the cries inside you are silent! That's when friends, family, and people you don't even know start telling you, "it'll get better!", "It'll all go away." But the fact is, those who don't have it, just don't understand. So they can't lie and tell me "I understand what you're going through" because they don't. The things that go through your mind. Its like you're an actor playing as yourself, the one that always forces themselves to smile! It takes away everything and leaves you in a town in the middle of nowhere called isolation, which is better off being called No Man's Land. You become isolated so long you start to push everyone away. Your family, your friends; the one that truly knew decides to stick around. That friend notices how you've been acting and wants to help but you're scared! Scared she'll see the scars. But you let her in. She tells you "its gonna be okay", just like others have said. So you push her away. Different thoughts begin to pop up in your head! You think you're alone. Well, at least you think you are. But you're not! You start to believe you're a burden to everyone, including yourself. You start to think those thoughts again! And the worst one of them all finally decides to show up to the party! Hello my name is Suicide! And you will not stop me until my job is done. That voice in your head shows up and it sees your skin! Your smooth skin is no longer pure...but that blade now has your blood on it. Now you hide your scars and flinch when people try to touch you! You go back to isolation and find yourself stuck in a world that's not worth living!

© Copyright 2018 SincerelyMisfit. All rights reserved.

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