What and Why?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


It is a short essay on still trying to understand what love is.


What and why?

When I was a young kid, I was really amused by meditation and also the mysteries of the temples in the mountains and monks. Maybe that amusement and attraction mostly came from the movies because I was too lazy to read a book or dumb enough to not understand the power of a book and the shit that a writer writes all over it. Maybe it was because I thought the Harry Potter books were quite big and my friends took almost a week or two to finish hardly one fourth of it and I thought its better to just watch the movie, a lazy ass tried to find his reasoning through that reading a book is not that efficient compared to a book.

Never mind, I always told my mother that I will go to Tibet one day and become a monk. Actually, that also came from the movies because those monks knew kung fu and can do a lot of awesome stuffs that really amused a teenage kid who was still oblivious to the world, who was still oblivious to women or maybe in his case girls.

 We all thought of becoming astronauts, pilots, rich people and monks in my case but we all lost that want in the way of life. Is that what life does to us? Kill our dreams and enjoy himself or herself while we frown on our broken dreams, sorry I do not know the gender of life, as I said before am quite dumb.

My dreams quite changed after some time with growing age and I wanted to be a really rich men. Actually, we cannot blame life for changing or breaking our dreams. It is a process of evolution as defined by our holy grandpa, Darwin and as we grow our dreams change and shape ourselves to what we really want to become but I think everyone will accept in the fact that we all search for the true meaning of love in the path of life. I was really confused and still am like if I am attracted to a woman and she does not give me that much recognition, my attraction increases and soon I will define it as love but after getting recognition that attraction in the disguise of love soon fades out, I think it is same for most of the people.

For me, love was being in a relation with a girl whom I never loved and thought I loved but that was a long term liking mostly like a long investment plan but at the end you get nothing, maybe a lil bit of sorrow as complimentary reward that you walked such a long path.

For me, love was sitting next to a girl for the first time and waiting for the time to talk with her again the next day, not telling her that I love her for 12 years and then telling her when she has a boyfriend.

For me, love was trying to love a girl who loved me with all her hurt and waited for me despite all my shenanigans.

For me, love was falling for every beautiful woman I talk and spend time with.

I really do not know which one was love for me,

The question always remains unanswered what is love and why it is so fucking confusing?

 


Submitted: February 28, 2018

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