I Can't See in the Dark

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


"It hurts to fall



And no one stops to help you unless you ask for it



But you hate asking for help



Because it makes you feel weak



You'd rather pretend that you're fine with lying on the ground"

Submitted: March 09, 2018

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Submitted: March 09, 2018

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Sometimes the easiest thing to feel is anger

In the same way that when you're walking at night you should wear bright colors

You can't see very well in the dark 

So you hold onto the brightest thing you can

And sometimes you don't feel like holding on at all but 

But this is becoming less of a metaphor than it is truth 

And I can't work in that for long without losing myself to pathetic ramblings

 

There are people distibuting flashlights

And sometimes carrots

And you know you need a flashlight 

Because you're kind of afraid of the dark and you can't see

But the lady giving out flashlights tries to give you a carrot instead

And you try to tell her that you've tried carrots before 

And you know that you're allergic to them 

So she tells you to go find glasses

But you're already wearing glasses and you don't like asking for help

So you just stumble around blindly in the dark

And you're pretty sure it's not a secret to anyone but the flashlight lady that

Someday you're going to stumble right into a car or off of a ledge

And it's pretty illegal to give anyone else your flashlight 

So they have to let you 

And between falling in the darkness

And lying down on the rough concrete 

You can't help but wonder if it hurts them to have to watch you fall 

It hurts to fall

And no one stops to help you unless you ask for it

But you hate asking for help

Because it makes you feel weak 

You'd rather pretend that you're fine with lying on the ground

 

Sometimes when you're taking a break the only thing you can see

Are the people walking past as if it's broad daylight

And it fills you with a quiet disbelief 

A quiet jealousy 

Everyone else is moving forward while you're stuck there

And maybe the flashlight wouldn't have worked for you

But you've taken so many first steps that one more couldn't hurt

And you're not sure you have the energy to try again 

You're not sure you'd be able to swallow your weakness 

When offered another carrot

Or another pair of glasses

And you've always been taught that weak is the worst thing you could be

 

A candle would be nice too

Or someone to hold your hand as you walk

But you're damaged goods and crazy people don't get to play with fire

So you're doomed to fall and it's just so hard to get back up

But everyone is expecting you to 

So you force yourself to stand and ignore that you never really learned how to walk in the first place


© Copyright 2018 Charlotte Maude. All rights reserved.

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