Custody

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


How to split up the boxes of our things.

Submitted: March 12, 2018

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Submitted: March 12, 2018

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“Custody”

 

I’ll take the first spark we shared,

and keep it stored away next to the cards from my birthdays.

I’ll take the first time our hands accidentally brushed,

I don’t think you even know I have it.

 

You can take the first date,

and the first time we intentionally held hands,

I hope your memory recaptures the nervous tingles between our fingers.

You can take the first kiss too,

 

But I want the first “I love you”s,

I’ll even take the hour long silence that stalled before those words were uttered,

and our jittering hands that spoke for us.

I think I’d also like to take our first dance together,

I just can’t seem to let it go.

 

I know you’d like to take the montage of summer dates,

the long hours spent in a car that is tired of our love,

and boundless bundle of broken boundaries.

You should probably take all of the inside jokes we had,

just in case you forget them, knowing your forgetfulness.

I won’t miss them,

because I won’t forget them.

 

I’ll take our first fight,

and I’ll make sure to take the hurt and doubt that was attached to it.

I’ll also take the distance that grew between us over the past few months,

that’s something I’m hoping you’ll forget.

 

I don’t want you to take our break up,

because I don’t want you to hate me for barely saying a word.

But I don’t think I have any room to take it in,

it comes with too much baggage and too many things I should’ve said.

It comes with too many of my ghosts, and too many tears to hold in my eyes.

 

I’m sorry it ended up this way,

and my heart can’t stop hurting,

thinking about the fact that there’ll be nothing more to take custody of,

because while I hate this,

I wish there were more to split,

because I am so desperate to have another piece of you.

 

But I can’t.

and I know that.

 

So thank you for making my heart so full for so long,

and while it may feel empty right now,

I know it’s not,

because I have all these pieces of you

to fill up the vacant spaces.

I love you,

until I don’t have room to anymore.

 

E.C.


© Copyright 2018 Ellie Carp. All rights reserved.