whats the point

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


Depression

Submitted: March 12, 2018

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Submitted: March 12, 2018

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I often sit an wonder what it was like to feel normal. Nothing feels the same anymore. I long to feel something, anything, maybe tomorrow ey. New day open my eyes. What's the point pull back the duvet an go back to sleep. Nothing to get up for. Well not till at least 3. Last nights all a bit of a blur. I thought my name was being called. An I swear that piece of ripped paper weren't there before. Were did that penny come from did someone place it there for me to find. I know they watch me. You do to. Oh what's the point.

I have lost all sense of reality. I can't make out were my dreams end an my real life begins. Did that happen or was I dreaming. ???

Nothing tastes the same,everything tastes different. I've lost my sense of smell. I've lost all my emotions I feel nothing. I miss the feeling of being happy or excited I even sometimes miss feeling sad. I can't remember the last time I cried. I have no tears I've tried to cry a few times. What's the point. 

I'll defiantly make an appointment with the doctor this week. I'll tell him everything. Things can't go on like this. But in the mean time I'll get up an get washed an dressed. Oh What's the point. Back on the couch with my deuvet nothing to get up for. Well not till at least 3. 

I have lost all sense of reality, I can't make out were my dreams end an my real life begins. Did that happen or was I dreaming ???

I drift in an out of sleep. Then it dawns on me the reason am sleeping on the couch in the firist place. The reason I won't sleep in the bed anymore. Oh what's the point..

Infact there is a point. There is a reason I get up at 3 there is a reason I breath. There is a big point. An her name is Cissie. Cissie murphy my beautiful 7 year old daughter. She is my light at the end of a dark tunnel. My rainbow on a rainy day. She will eventually make me feel normal again. Maybe not today but tommorow ey.........


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