Life when your gone.



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When I am gone

February 9, 2018

William R. Harrell

The sun will still rise, and the moon will reappear every night. Life will still go on. You will still get up everyday just as before. The time we have here will still be numbered. There will be initial differences and days when you still can't believe I'm not here anymore. Moments of silence followed by upset and tears, but that too will fade. Just like the days of a calendar, things will continue. When I am gone, life will still continue. There will be smiles and happy days followed by the sad and unhappy ones. No matter how you look at this all. It will be ok.

Where did I go so soon and why? The answer to that will probably never truly be known. Nobody can answer that question truthfully but me. There will be rumors and speculation as to what really happened, but I'm the only one who will ever truly know. I want you to know that I was selfish in this action. I know this is a terrible way out, but I couldn't figure it all out. I know that you will never understand. I wish I could have figured out a better solution, but everyone has answers and things they tell you how much better it will be. In the end, I could see no other way out of the situation. Life had just stacked up so deep that there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

The words written will never make it any easier on any of us. This I know. When I am gone I won't be able to make the bad decisions and cause the hurt and confusion to anyone else. The spread of my out of control life will be over. Yes, I understand what I did was wrong and I know that God says you are not supposed to do this. Everyday I looked toward the sky and asked for help. Whenever things got bad I asked for help, but I guess not from the right direction. Please forgive me for the bad decisions that I made, and know that I will miss all of you.

These words are hard to write and I am sure they were hard to read. Someone you knows goes through this everyday. There are so many people that struggle everyday with this choice. So many people see this as the only way out. If you see this going on, don't just tell them to call you if they need you. They need you right then, now. You are the one that can stop the immediate decision that everyone around you will feel. Get them help. Be the difference in this world. This whole situation is repeating itself more and more in our communities. We have the chance to help them and stop the permanent decision to a temporary problem. There is help, and we are all the first line of defense. Remember to smile, because it looks good on you.

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