The Kookaburras

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic


Horror. Humour. Flash Fiction

Submitted: March 21, 2018

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Submitted: March 21, 2018

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The Kookaburras

 

  I didn't marry Helen for her yellow teeth, or her wan face and

body, or for her slow voice...

  People think I'm stupid 'cause I talk so slow, but I'm from the

country Frank. People talk slow in the country, I'm not stupid.

  I didn't marry Helen for her shapeless hairy legs, or her bad 

dress sense, I married Helen for her long silky blond hair.

However after a week of marriage her hair fell out due to some

medical complaint. I knew I had to something about this, right

away. I couldn't stand to look at her bald head.

  Helen was a very sound sleeper, so early in the morning while

she was in the land of nod, as I listened to the kookaburras 

laughing, I put beef mince just outside our bedroom window,

and inside our bedroom, and smeared some on her bald head.

I'd often fed this to the kookaburras in the past, and knew they

loved it. I could picture them chiseling apart her skull with their

becks, and dragging out here brains, in an attempt to get more

mince, after they'd finished off what was coated on her head,

or maybe they'd peck out her eyes and try to get more though

her eye sockets.

  My scheme worked like a charm, the kookaburras quickly 

digested the mince that was outside, and invaded the bedroom,

and immediately attacked Helen's head. It was hard for me

to get out of the way, but luckily they were preoccupied with Helen.

They quickly split her skull open in search of more food, but just

as quickly flew out the window in disappointment, for they didn't

drag brain matter out of Helen's skull, but wires and computer

circuitry.

  I stared at Helen's mangled head, it proved an old adage, " You

don't know someone till you live with them! " Helen was a robot!

  The destructive kookaburras must have stimulated some of the 

circuitry, because Helen's voice spoke much, much, slower

than its usual whine...

- I loooove yooou Frankkk! Makee looooove tooo mmmeee!

  So I did!


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