Episode 3 Monkeying around
Wizard dude
Surprise attack!
Wizard dude slaps Tim in the face
Tim
WHAT THE HELL
Wizard dude
Wake up ya lil bish
Tim
What's wrong with you man!? Are you drunk
Wizard dude
I made panCAKES, also *hickup* i’m not drunk, im really drunk
Tim
Oh, what kind of pancakes?
Wizard dude stumbles towards the kitchen
Wizard dude
Chocolate chips and bacon
Tim
Oh, i was expecting for you to say magical chocolate and bacon pancakes
Wizard dude
Oh, yea, I’m too wasted to make magical chocolate chip and bacon pancakes
Tim sits down at the table and takes a bite of the pancake, Wizard dude giggles
Wizard dude
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THOSE WERE MAGICAL CHOCOLATE CHIP AND BACON PANCAKES
Tim
Ugh, you need to stop doing this
Wizard dude
In four minutes, you’ll turn into a monkey!!
Tim
Why though?
Wizard dude
Cause when we were at that party, you told me that you wish you could experience more things in life, so that what i’m giving you, more experiences
Int- Random party room- Night
Tim
Hey Wizard dude, you’re pretty cool man
Wizard dude
Aw thanks man, umm… what do you want in life
Tim
Wha, where is that question *hickup* co-coming from?
Wizard dude
Well I mean, I feel like I don’t know you to good, and you’re like, a really cool dude
Tim
Oh stop it you, yooou’re the cool one, you… you’re a freaking wizard
Wizard dude
No no I mean like, for real, no offense, but you’re super cool
Tim
We’ll, I wish I could use magic to do things too, I mean, you’re wizard dude man, and like, you can do things, I wish i could do things
Wizard dude
Dude, we’ll do things man, I’ll help you man, like, I don’t know, maybe… uuhh
Tim
Ha, just like, don’t do anything crazy
INT- Tim’s kitchen- Day
Tim
That's not even CLOSE to what i meant
Wizard dude
Oh, well, I have to go, it’s almost 1:30pm, and I need to go to a wizard convention, and see my fellow wizards
Tim
There are other wizards?
Wizard dude
Of course, there’s like... *burp*, 6 more
Tim
Oh, well, What should I do when I become a monkey?
Wizard dude
I have no clue, how would I know? Just do monkey stuff, go bananas!
Tim
Okay, that was pretty funny
Wizard dude
Just don’t monkey around
Tim
Haha…
Wizard dude
I don’t know any more monkey puns
Tim
Just don’t make me mad, or I’ll go furious george on ya
Wizard dude
Hahahahaha, that’s gold, well, I should head out
Tim
Okay, see ya
Wizard dude gets in his car, crashes it on the brick wall, gets out, and teleports way, and Tim becomes a monkey
Tim
Woah, I can still talk!! What! Monkeys can talk?!
Someone knocks at the door
Mailman
Package for Tim Harington
Tim
Oh, I’ll get it!
Tim opens the door and the mailman freaks out
Mailman
Woah! This dude owns a monkey! What the heck, is that even legal?!
Tim
Oh, I’m Tim, I just happen to be a monkey
Mailman
Ok ok, What? What? This is too much, what!?
Tim
I know right! This is so cool! If someone told you you’d meet a talking monkey today, what would you even say?
Mailman
I’d say “I want some of what he’s having”
Tim
Hahaha, that’s gold, hey, i'm bored, can I chill with you for a bit?
Mailman
Heck yea! Let’s go!
Tim
Okay, Just let me put on some clothes
Mailman
Woah what! You wear clothes?!
Tim
We’ll, I shrunk my old suit, so it might fit
Mailman
Omg, all you’d need now is a cigar, and you’d be the coolest thing on this Earth
Tim
Why thank you
Tim gets dressed in a tuxedo, and leaves the house with the mailman
Tim
So, when do you get off work?
Mailman
Like, about two hours
Tim
What's your name?
King
King, my name’s King
Tim
Awesome name! What do you do after work King?
King
I meet up with my two buddies Johnny and Frank
Shows Tim and King driving around at an accelerated speed, and the sun goes down a bit, and the moon shows up a bit, and Tim and King drop off the car, they get in King’s car, and start blasting Kendrick Lamar - M.A.A.D. City (Feat. MC eiht) , Tim rolls down the window and starts making gestures at passing by cars, and King laughs, Two hot girls drive by and Tim blows a kiss at them, and puts on some sunglasses, the girl’s jaws drop
Tim
This is amazing! I’ve never had so much fun
King
Oh wait till you see Johnny and Frank
King pulls up at a random block, Tim and King get out of the car and walk to a building, where a security guard is in front of a door
King
Here’s my ticket
Security guard
Sorry sir, you can’t bring a monkey to a rave
Tim
Don’t talk to my friend that way Sir, he’s not a monkey
King
What…
Tim
hello, why can’t I go inside?
Security guard
What the hell?!
King
What's wrong sir?
Security guard
That monkey is talking!! What’s going on?!
King smiles and looks at Tim, Tim smiles back at King
King
What? What monkey?
Tim
Yea, there’s no monkey, i’m a human, just like you
Security guard
That monkey right there! It's talking to me!
King
I don’t see a monkey, are you okay sir? Your pupils are a bit dilated, maybe you should go see a doctor
Security guard
But… it's right there
King
Sir, there is no monkey, I’m worried about you, are you ok? Here, let's go talk to that paramedic.
Security guard
Uhh… Okay
King
*mouths the words* Go inside
Tim goes inside the place, and instantly loud EDM music blasts loudly
Tim
Woah, this is cool
King walks in the door
King
We did it man!
Tim
Heck yea!
Tim & King high five
King
There’s Johnny and Frank, wanna meet them?
Tim
Aw hell yea!
Johnny
King whats up! NO WAY, IS THAT A MONKEY?!
King
Guys, this is Tim, say hi Tim
Tim
Sup dudes
Johnny and Frank
NO WAAAY!!
Frank
This monkey talks?!
Johnny
Where did you find this monkey King!?
King
Tim actually lives in an apartment
Johnny
What! No way!
Frank
Dude! What would an apartment owned by a monkey even look like?!
Tim
Pretty normal to be honest
Frank
This is too good to be true
Johnny
BEST DAY EVER DUUUDE
Tim, King, Johnny and Frank dance to music for hours, lights play, and when they leave the party, they all go to Tim’s apartment
Frank
So you like, live here with a Wizard?
King
Duude, Tim’s trippin man, talking about wizards n shit
Johnny
Dude, i'm starvin, Tim, could I raid your fridge?
Tim
Sure, go ahead
Johnny raids the fridge and King sits on a bean bag, and Frank sits on a sofa
King
Yo Tim, wanna put on some tunes?
Tim
Heck yea, go for it
Frank
Aww yeaaa
Johnny
Yo, Tim, can I bring out your drinks?
Tim
AWW YEA, Partyyyy
Tim, Frank, King and Johnny end up partying again, then they turn on Monty Python
Tim
Haha, he cut off the dudes leg
King
I love this part man, these movies take me back
Frank
I love you guys
Johnny
Wow, queer, hahahaha, just kiddin
Frank
No i mean, for real
Tim
Yea man, this is real ya know?
King
Shh, I love this part
The Black knight says “Lets call it a draw” and they all start laughing
Tim
I know none of ya can drive, so yall can crash here, but, I won’t be a monkey when I wake up, so, let's take some pics
They take some funny selfies, and fall asleep, Tim wakes up alone, and there's a note saying “Thanks for the awesome day, here’s our phone numbers, let's hang out again!”
Wizard dude walks in the door
Wizard dude
Heyooooo, how was it being a monkey?
Tim
It was amazing
Wizard dude
Hahaha, I brought pizza
Tim
Is this pizza magic too?
Wizard dude
Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t
Tim is about to take a bite, and wizard dude giggles
Tim
Okay, what did you do to this pizza?
Wizard dude
Nothing, that's the funny part
Tim
Hahaha, what a shocker
Tim and Wizard dude sit on the couch eating pizza, and wizard dude giggles
Tim
Damn it Wizard dude! What did you do to the pizza this time?!
Wizard dude
I put some magic in your pizza, you and me are going to go on a magical trip, and take over the kingdom of sexy single women, and then we shall go and conquer the land of super boss villains, and become their leaders, then we’re gonna go explore the Mariana trench, then we’re gonna make a space alien who’s gonna escape, and we’ll spend the entire day trying to find it!
Tim
Oh, when is that going to happen?
Wizard dude
In a few minutes
Tim
Sounds awesome, I can’t wait
The episode ends, none of that happens
Submitted: March 25, 2018
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