K.A.O

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Romance


Just a short one about the unfairness in life, written with a broken heart...

Submitted: March 27, 2018

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Submitted: March 27, 2018

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The burmese angel- A broken soul

Not to long ago, a year or so, i got to know this muslim woman. How and why is not important. Sometimes the aftermath is all we get from such random encounters. Nice and with stunning good looks we became friends. A platonic relationship with your basic sharing of personal things and experiences. Most of the time theese stories are quite uninterresting. Not so in this case. She told me about her close past. About her journey from Myanmar, Yangoon to be precise, and to become married to a fellow countryman of mine. Myanmar and Yangoon, places as familiar to me as Norway is to the average burmese. Have you heard of Norway? You know, that country situated north west in Europe. The place where polar bears roam the streets and the northern lights keeps us all awake throughout the winter. Her lifes story got to me. Impacted my heart and soul, made me acutely aware of the unfairness we have in this world. So i might as well share with you my dearest reader. Maybe that will soften the sorrow in my heart. 

The romantic side of my heart does not allways conform all that well with the hars realities of life. Woman with few or none future travelling to other countries to marry men for money. Men for money or men with money, goes for the same. This angel was one of those women.

Strictly logical speaking i do understand her decision, and a some lenghts even respect it. She came from a much poorer country. A country where the lack of real opportunities held her down. Not allowing her to spread her wings. In such countries there is not as if you work hard enough you will surely succeed. Afterall, sometimes the limitations in our lifes does not come solely from ourselves. 

Arriving Norway by de tour. One of my countrymen with the support of her family braught her here. If it was a fixed marriage aiming for a permanent citizenship i do not know for sure. Did not bother to ask. Eitherway the end result is the same. The short lived nature of theire "romance" might indicate a rather sinister truth. 

Where there is a ending there is perhaps a begining to embark upon. The angel had settled in a country with better economics and opportunities. Regardless of gender and religious backround or so forth. The things is that her family did not join her journey to the other side of the globe. They stayed put in Yangoon, her parents and older brother. Now it was her responsibility to provide for them. Either through work or marriage. A pragmatic way of life that crashes head on with mine. 

I am certain that her family, mainly the mother, would love for her to end up happily married. To the man of her choosing. Being finally free to follow her ambitions and aspirations. We all have them. We all need to spread our wings. In short, that their angel became happy. Unfortunately happiness is a luxury when the very foundation of life is at risk. The basic need is and will allways be our first pritority. So off course i do not put judgement on her decision. There is no place for any type of feeling moral superiourity. I and many others would most likely do the same if we had to.

The ones i do judge are the men taking advantage of theese women. Yes, i know. I am being quite hars. I do see that we should be carefull judging people we do not know, or understand the reasoning behind their actions. At the same time this is grown men fully capable or both emphaty and understanding consequenses. Very few of them can claim insanity in the moment of exploitation. That they where mentally and intellectually inept. 

This spesific man she married i have no indepth knowledge about. For me him personally is somewhat beside the bigger picture. Middle aged and with a good salary. External factors that really should not amount to much. Granted, money probably plays a bigger part than i am willing to fully accept. Nevertheless, the premise of such a partnership should in my eyes be suficiant for the man to think twice. Then abandon it all together. I do understand how solitude can break mens spirit. How it tears the soul apart and affects our better judgement. But something tells me that loneliness is not the main force here. For the woman the driving force are quite straight foreward, securing a better future for herself and the family she left behind. It is not difficult to grasp the lenghts humans are willing to go to acchieve this. 

If a man, any odd man, decides that he gives up on domestic woman. Independent woman in charge of their own life. From now he choose to basically buy a foreign woman. What exactly is he wanting? People get attracted to eachother in a number of ways. Ranging from looks to personality trades. However there are some common denominators. Such as a common background, be it social or cultural, common interests or simply socioeconomical status. In theese types of marriages we see a inequitable distribution from the very start. And they are all in the favour of the man. He masters the language, understands societies written and unwritten rules. We live in a secularized community. The woman arrives usually with religious baggage. Fair enough. The point is that she is forced into a voluntary constraint situation. If the does not obey her husband he can threathen with divorce. A severe consequence and burden for the woman. For the man in Norway or any other western country the shame is insignificant. For a muslim woman it brings shame not just over her, but also her family. 

As part of the control over their imported wifes restricting their independence is paramount. Thus the focus on language skill and education is put on the back burner. Learning the language opens the eyes for new opportunities. It is the gateway to education. Education is the most important path to true independence. This types of men choose wisely not to encourage this. Because with independence follows increased self respect and sense of self worth. Then maybe, just maybe, their ideal husband is not the man who used money to take advantage of her difficult life situation. 

She has finally spread her wings. For the first time in her life. The burmese angel deserves that, more than anyone else i know. 


 

 


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