Some April Fool's Jokes just don't turn out the way one might think.


It was the first of April, but I was not in the mood for any jokes.

Until recently I was a regular April Fools Prankster, and I was really good at it.

I used to think up all sorts of jokes to play on my friends and neighbors, and sometimes strangers if the setting was right. But those days are behind me after what happened to my unsuspecting mother.

 

It has been six years, to the day, since my Mom was killed by an April Fool’s joke gone wrong.

You see, I put a fake rubber snake in a king-size washing machine at the local laundromat. The family uses it from time to time and my sister uses it every week.

Normally Mom doesn't use that laundromat except to wash and gentle-dry her two favorite quilts; those two quilts wouldn't fit in her washer at home so she has to take them to the laundromat.

But my sister uses the large washers all the time because the apartment building she lives in doesn’t have a laundry room.

 

Well, I guess Mom decided that the quilts were dirty on that Sunday, of all days. --- I mean, what quilt gets dirty on a Sunday?

Anyway, right after church Mom decided her quilts were dirty, so she called Sissy.

Sissy was going to the laundromat, anyway, just like she does every Sundry, so Mom caught a ride with her.

Mom doesn’t like to drive.

 

After unloading the quilts from the car, Mom opened the door to that king-size washer. That’s when she saw the snake!

Well, the poor dear had a heart attack and fell on the floor!

Unfortunately, there was no one in the room to call 911, my sister had stepped out for a smoke when it all went down, so the heart attack proved fatal due to the delay in medical help.

Poor Mom, she was still in her prime. Strange, too, cause we had just lost poor Dad just a few months earlier.

 

My Dad was a hard worker, but not too bright, or so they said. And I’ve heard people say that I’m a lot like him, but I could never see it.

However, my sister has always had a head for business, so, with my sister’s help, Dad must have managed to invest well.

Why do I say that?

Because when Dad died Mom was left with over $3,000,000 in cash and assets.

Heck, Dad and Mom’s house, alone, is worth over a million, and to think that they bought it for $27,000 when they first got married.

 

Nobody in the family knew about all that money except for Dad, Sissy, and the Bank. It was for sure I didn’t know, but that’s all I hear about now that Mom’s dead.

You see, the cops are saying that Mom's money was my motive for killing her. Little did they know, my sister has always been Mom's favorite.

 

Poor Mom, she had just started looking at travel brochures for European Cruises.

Mom and Dad had talked about going on cruises once he retired, but that didn't work out. You see, Dad worked until he was 68, and then he croaked during his retirement party; too many Party-poppers, that's what everyone was saying.

But Sissy said he only had two. And she should have known because she was bar-tending that night.

The Coroner said Dad had Tylenol, Rum, and his heart medication in his system at the time he died.

I guess it’s true what they say about fate being a flicked Mistress. A simple medication mistake and you’re gone.

Anyway, you can see why April First bums me out, especially if it falls on a Sunday.

 

However, there is one bright spot on this gloomy Sunday; my sister is coming to visit me for the first time in five years.

She and her husband, my former lawyer, Chadwick Burningham, have been away for a while. In fact, they got back from a world cruise, just last month.

Sissy needed to get away after Mom’s death, and my incarceration. And with the funeral and testifying against me, well, that was pretty hard on her.

And she has said that it was a good thing that Chad was there for her; it was fate.

 

Well, it seems that I was right about Mom liking Sissy more than me, Mom’s Last Will and Testament left Sissy Two-Thirds of the estate, and I got One-Third.

But, hey, Sissy has two children and no husband at the time, so I’m sure that had much to do with Mom’s decision.

 

Because of my age and the fact that the Prosecutor could not prove that I intended to kill Mom with the snake scare, the charge against me was reduced from Murder to “Criminally Negligent Homicide.” And on the advice of my lawyer, I accepted the plea bargain and was sentenced to fifteen years.

 

As part of my plea deal, my part of Mom’s estate was placed in a trust by the court. The money went into a sealed account until I am released, or until I need legal finances; I guess the State is tired of paying for my lawyer.

This brings me to the days at hand.

My Sister is very proud of her husband and says that Chad is trying to get his new law business up and running.

Her husband is going to be my lawyer, once again, and she is going to fill me in on the appeal that he is planning to file on my behalf.

Yes, Sir-re, Sissy says that it is important that I understand the appeal process and the way Chad will be handling it, and that I will need to sign some papers making her my power of attorney.

After all, she’ll have to dip into my money to pay my legal bills while the appeal process is working its way through the courts.

 

 

JE Falcon

03-27-2018

04-24-2022


Submitted: March 27, 2018

© Copyright 2023 JE Falcon aka JEF. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Jeff Bezaire

A wonderful narrative and a great twist at the end!

Wed, March 28th, 2018 3:40am

Author
Reply

Thanks Jeff!

Fri, March 30th, 2018 10:10am

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