Voices in the Void

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic


**EDIT UPDATE**



My Word program brutally murdered my story through its copy & paste. This is the edit. Thank you. Note: This isn't religious, nor does it contain preaching or bigotry toward other religions. But
since I'm American, and have the most experience with the Christian religion, I borrow names from that mythology. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God created another God? That is
the focus of this story.


 

Voices in the Void

 

There were voices. Voices calling out into the void. Past, present, future… all blurred into one. Within the void, there was the beginning of something. Someone. A being that was more, and less, and everything, and nothing.

Slowly. No need for anything to happen too fast, as it was all happening at the same time. It was all happening at different times too, but then what was time? Did it exist? Was it nothing more than a construct? A foundation for those who are desperate for there to be a reason for something? Only none of them existed, and yet they all existed. As He, because it was so easy to think of Himself as male, came into being, He could hear those voices, but didn't know where, or when, they were coming from. By merely existing he had forced Himself into that construct. Or had He been the one to create it for Himself?

Answers to those questions were an impossibility. The only thing He knew was that He was, He existed, and out there, in the void, there were beings who needed Him. They needed His voice. His guidance. He could hear their pain. Their questions. Their fears. Cacophony. The sound came from everywhere, and maybe, had He been weaker, that sound would have been too much for Him. Fortunately for those voices, He wasn't weak. He was strong enough to, breathing in deeply, let go of them all, just for that moment. Strong enough to gather the silence of the void around Him, just for that moment, to give himself the time and space, He needed to think.

Voices from all times. Voices that might never exist. The void was energy, and nothing more. An energy that needed something to guide it, and yet something had already done that job. Was that something Him? Had it been some other being that had come to exist, to help those who called out to it? Was there any way to know what came first? With a smile, he didn't know was a smile, He turned his mind to what he wanted from the void, from the energy. Or was it what He wanted? Was it something that was needed, and had He existed to make it happen? More questions without answers. Maybe that was what his existence would be. Questions without answers, but then who was to say that all questions needed answers? All that really mattered was the fact He was.

Feeling uncertain, if that was possible in something like Him, He started to gather the energy around him. From the way it reacted that was what it wanted. It wanted Him. Needed Him. He was the guide, the one who would form them, make them, help them. Without there being a guide there would be nothing, and yet, if He opened His mind to the cacophony, there was something already there. He heard a thought. What was it that came first - the chicken, or the egg? What was it that came first - Him, or the universe? Shaking His head, thinking of the beings that came long before the chickens, He started on the work He existed to do. The work that was a necessity.

While He worked He thought. There was nothing else to be done as He guided the energy to become what it seemed it had always known to be, but without His hands would never have become. Or maybe it would have been. Maybe it would have just taken longer. The universe came to be around Him, and there was no time. Nothing to tell him how long it took him to make the stars, the worlds, the life… all of which existed at the same time and existed at different times. He could feel the beings that would call to Him, even though they hadn't yet come to be, because they were, and they weren't, and there was no time. No days. No nights. Every world around every star had time for itself, and had the mortals come to be from another universe their time would not be what it became. Had they come from another plane of reality, they would have been very different creatures.

Only they didn't. He knew only the mortals as they came to be in the universe, the beings that had been calling out to Him, the voices that became a cacophony of noise. By being when He was there, was little He could do to help them right then. Their construct of time meant He was going to need to wait. They were going to need to wait. The voices weren't going to get an answer until He could give one, and in their time that was going to be many centuries away. Many millennia.

He knew they weren't going to stop. They were going to keep calling out. They were going to keep asking Him for the guidance they weren't going to follow, because of what they were. Even though they had screamed out for Him they didn't truly want Him. Instead, they wanted something they could use to keep others in line, and that would never work out the way they wanted it to. Had they been willing to listen He would have been able to tell them that, but their future already was. Or was it? Was there something He could still do to change things? To make the universe a very different place. He thought about what He was. About what He could do with the energy that was still wrapped tightly around Him. He had choices He could make. Maybe He was the one with the ability to change what was.

Using that energy, He worked to create another. Another God. If that was truly what He was. That was what they called Him. God. The one they followed… knowing that they didn't truly follow Him. Instead, they followed the being they wanted Him to be, without being able to see who He really was. Maybe, with another, He would have a chance to make them see how things should be. He would be able to talk to them about what it meant to be what He was, because, by then, He might have an idea of what it meant to be their God. To be the one they called out to for help, without being willing to listen. To understand. To see how what they were doing was damaging the universe around them.

It was that confusion, that uncertainty, that lack of understanding, that went into making His companion. As they came into being He smiled.

 

"Why have you done this?"

Their voice rang like a bell, loud in the silence of the void.

"Why did you create me, in your selfish loneliness? You are just like those who call to you. To us."

Silence followed those words. Had it been selfish loneliness? He'd barely existed for any time at all, and He was already making mistakes.

"I thought that you could be another voice to speak to them."

 

He knew that was the truth, and yet it was a lie at the same time, as there had been a part of Him that desperately wanted there to be someone with Him in the darkness. To go through the time, they would need to wait until the mortals, already created, would come into being.

"They need guidance, but they are unwilling to listen."

 

"They have always been unwilling to listen, and they will always be unwilling to listen. That is the way of things. You know that as well as I do. Or will do. Maybe I am who you will become when you are so broken down by those creatures." They smiled. "I could make this universe a better place by making it so that they don't come to be."

They waved a hand, a hand created in the image of the mortals, and the voices faded into nothing. One slight change and they would never come to be.

"Is that what you want? Do you want them to be gone entirely? Or would you like me to make it so that they destroy each other because there are so many times when they can? So many times, when they broke." They laughed. "You know everything I know."

 

Yes, I do, and I believe that they should be permitted to do things as they will. Any being with the ability to walk those paths may make mistakes, just as I am capable of doing, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't - though I created you in some hope you would be able to stop them." 

 

"What is, and what will be, and what can be, and what should be are all entwined. We know that. We can create and destroy. We can change what is to come if that is what we decide we should do, but what is will never change."

They waved a hand again. "There are so many possibilities. Both of us can see all possibilities. We see the paths in front of us that we can take, that they can take, that the other universes might be able to take. We can make different realities and planes of existence that are full of beings like the mortals, but this one will always only have them because that is the way it was always supposed to be. Or at least it seems to be."

 

"Surely, if you know this all so well, you know why I created you."

 

"How could I not?" They smiled. "It is why I accused you of selfishness. You know I will always be the opposite of you. Sometimes it's necessary. We need there to be the counterbalance. Both of us know what will come of this in the future because I inherited your madness. Had you not created me you might have walked down the dark path I will walk, eventually. You could have stopped that from happening, but instead, you made the decision we were going to do this together. You have made that decision many times in the past and will make it many times again. There will be other universes where you won't create me, and you'll walk down that dark path, eventually creating those who would destroy you, rather than creating them to destroy me."

 

Closing His eyes, He could see everything in front of Him. He knew it, and He'd known it as He created His companion. He had always known it. At the same time, there had been no way He could have known it. They reached out to take both His hands into theirs.

"Is this the path we walk this time?" He could hear the sadness in his own voice. "Will I continue making the same mistake?"

 

"To me, that isn't the question. I'm not a mistake. There are no mistakes in what is meant to be, even when we can't be certain what that is, but I know I exist for the right reasons. You created me for the best reasons. You knew--know--that my existence depends on your future. You need to stay sane, and capable of being there for those who can hear your voice. They exist, and they are necessary. It's the universe that is and will be as it should. And what it needs to be. Mortals are complicated beings, and they will need your guidance in both life and death. Our battle will be over long before they exist. I will give in to the loss of my sanity, because that is what I have always done, and probably always will do. I can't see any times when I don't walk this path, and maybe that's because I am not the one they called for. You are."

"Yet they need both of us, and I know that it'll take so long for me to get them to see that."

 

***

 

Alone once more He sat on a mountaintop. It was a mountain that wouldn't exist for a long time, but He didn't need it to exist right then. What He needed was the time to think. To work out what it was His next steps were going to be. The companion He'd dreamed of having was never going to exist, and He knew that from the beginning, but it was what it was. He had made his choice, so it was something He was going to have to live with. At least until the time came for the battle that would bring about the end of their madness. By walking the same paths, they had walked so many times before He had made the same future that He had always made.

 

Like they had done so many times before they appeared in front of Him, their body different once more.

"Hello, lovely." They kissed his cheek. "This is going to be a beautiful spot in the future."

 

"Yes, it is." He looked at them. They were in a female body, looking as beautiful as they ever had, with that same glint of insanity in their eyes.

 

"Is there a reason you're here?"

 

"To talk."

They sat next to Him. "Sometimes even I get lonely, and you are the only one I can talk to about what it means to be one of us."

 

"Yes. Even though I had to fix them… again. You and I both said that the mortals were off limits."

 

"Sometimes I give in to urges I shouldn't." They smiled.

"I'm sorry, but you have to admit that you enjoy the challenge of being able to fix the damage I cause."

 

He looked out at the sky. Did He enjoy it? It did at least mean He had something to do.

"I would still prefer it if you kept to our agreement." He glanced at them.

"You and I are going to be playing this game for a while longer yet, and it is easier if you follow the rules we agree on."

 

"Maybe we shouldn't have rules. Maybe we should change things around a bit." They shrugged. "But I know we can't. This universe is built on rules, but sometimes I wish it could be as chaotic as some of the others. Some of the universes where you are truly broken."

 

"This universe is not that universe, and it never will be." He shook head, looking back out at the sky, hearing the voices of those who would come to be again.

"We are doing this for the best of reasons, or at least that is what we keep convincing each other is the case. We might both be wrong about that."

 

"You're God, and that is the way it was always going to be. I am not meant to be a god of any kind."

 

"Only you are… in some universes…"

 

"Perhaps. But you were the God who was meant to be, and I am the broken one."

"I made the decision I wasn't going to look too closely at the other ones." They sighed.

"The moment I did I was going to break, and that wasn't something I wanted to happen. Not yet. We still have time before I'm so chaotic that you must destroy me, and I want to make the most of the time I have here. It'll be over far too soon."

 

"Can we change that future?" He had asked the question so many times before, and the answer was still the same. They were never going to be able to change what was meant to be. It was what it was.

 

"Do you want to change it?"

 

"No, we can't change it, and, yes, I do want to change it. We've been through this so many times before. You even thought that as you asked the question. There is no way we can change what is to come. Not when I was created to be the broken one."

 

"When I did what I did it wasn't to make you the broken one. It's because I didn't want to be alone, and I truly wish that we could share this universe."

 

"It's impossible for us to share any universe,  lovely, because for you to create me you had to take a part of yourself. You might not have realized it at the time, but all the emotions you felt at the time became me, and now I walk a path you might have walked, had you felt all of these emotions."

"Even those who are meant to know all can make mistakes."

"You were young and alone and wanted to have someone by your side throughout the time that we were going to be together. Had you stopped for a moment you would have worked out what it was you were doing. Maybe it's better that you didn't. This is the universe where you are meant to be the only one, and that's not a bad thing. You're an honest, noble God."

 

"I'm a God who can't change what is to be."

 

Their eyes met for a moment when they turned His head.

"No, you're a God who understands free will, because there have been those who enslaved their mortals. Those beings are not what you would want them to be. They don't have dreams, hopes, and wishes for their futures. He has broken them into something they should never have been. If I was the one in control I might walk that same path, but that isn't what this universe should be. Don't change. Keep walking your path, and I'll walk mine. Knowing what is to come makes it complicated, but it is what it is, and eventually what is meant to be will be."

 

***

 

Four of the angels stood in front of Him: Michael, Uriel, Gabriel, and Lucifer. The four who would lead the fight against the other God, and their army.

In His lead-up to the war against His chaotic self, He proceeded to show confidence in front of his angels rather than conflict, He studied each of them in turn. They were what He needed them to be. Each one had been created to act in a specific way, but He knew that would come to influence their future. They had free will. And they would make decisions in the future that would change everything. He'd seen it so many times, but He knew He was making the best choices He could. At the same time, He couldn't help hoping that he would, at some point, be able to change what was to be. Maybe… He pushed the thought aside. That was a thought for another day.

 

"When my chaotic half was created I wanted a companion, but that isn't what I got. Instead, I created my opposite, and the time has come for that to be dealt with. They have caused far too much damage for me to ignore"

 

He thought of the mortals once more. Of the paths, they would end up walking, if it was left up to chaos and destruction. They had made choices He would never accept, and knew, should they make the choice to affect the mortals again, that their time would be over.

 

"I will give you some of my strength when you fight because without it you won't be able to win."

 

"They will do the same for their armies."

Michael studied God. "I am certain they already have."

 

"Maybe they will, but they have a much larger army than I do, which means their strength is spread out much thinner than mine will be. You'll be stronger. That doesn't mean it is a certainty that you will win. I know what is meant to be, but what is meant isn't always what happens. You can lose to their armies, if you don't think strategically, and work together."

 

God's eyes met with Lucifer's.

"The four of you are the leaders of the others. You will fight this battle, and you will win it - if you don't let your personal feelings, and perhaps agendas, get in the way of what it is that needs to be done."

 

Lucifer nodded. "I'll do what needs to be done."

 

"You will. You always have."

 

God knew better than to show any emotion around His angels, especially Lucifer.

For the moment they believed in what they saw Him as, and to them, He was supposed to be infallible. Just like the mortals had made the decision that He would never be capable of making mistakes. They were wrong, but it didn't change their choices, and, with the angels, He was going to do his best to be who they wanted him to be.

 

"How should we fight them, when it comes to it?" Gabriel was the one God could rely on to be the most balanced of His angels. He was the one who would be able to see that mistakes were forgivable at times. Eventually.

 

"You must have some feelings for them." Both Michael and Lucifer made a sound.

They were going to fight because they were so alike, but they were going to have very different ideas of how they should get things done. At the end that might become the battle between life and death, with neither of them being able to see that there were shades of grey because that's who they were. Only that was a problem to deal with another time.

 

"Yes, perhaps. I do have feelings for them, as much as it seems like I shouldn't. Like you I was created, only in a very different way. I was needed before there was "need". The voices in the void that would be so loud now were just as loud then, as time is far more complicated than it needs to be, they brought me into being. They are a part of me. I am a part of them. I feel in the same way they do, although I've had more time to learn how to deal with those feelings. I've let go of them in a way they are still learning to do. I understand what it means not to act on those feelings."

"Concluding this was something that needed to be done wasn't easy, but it was a necessity. There are only shades of grey. I am not truly light, in the same way, they are not truly dark. They are simply feelings I wasn't capable of dealing with at the time, and those feelings… well, they are a complication, even now, but I am much better at dealing with them. I am never going to be perfect, but I am always going to do my best to make the right choices. I am fortunate enough to be able to see what will be, which will help."

 

He sighed. "For now, I want you to understand that they will become a part of me once more. We will become who I should have always been, so try not to kill them without giving me some warning at least. It would be easier if you could bring them to me alive."

 

Gabriel nodded. "Then that is what we'll do."

 

He looked at his fellow angels. "We are the ones who need to accept that our feelings might lead us to make choices we shouldn't. We cannot make any mistakes if we are going to be able to do this."

 

"There will be no mistakes." Lucifer and Michael spoke at the same time, before sharing an amused look.

 

"We'll make the right choices, Gabriel." Lucifer continued.

"That's what is needed right now."

 

 

Lucifer and Michael stood on either side of the other God, the chaotic one. And like the chaotic one had been so many times before, they were in a female form, being opposite of the true God, and when their eyes met it was possible to see the relief they felt.

 

They knelt. "It's time."

 

Nodding, God stood. "It's time. I might've left it a little longer than I truly should have, but I have to admit I wasn't certain this moment was one I wanted to happen."

 

"In the end, it was always going to be this way."

 

"Yes, it was, and that's the way things have always been. It's the way things will always be."

 

He sighed. "Are you ready?"

 

"As ready as I'm ever going to be."

 

Stepping forward God put a hand on their head, and that was enough. God was the stronger of the two of them. He had proven that, with the help of His angels, on the battlefield. Being the stronger one, it was easy to gather up everything that made up their companion, a being who was part of Him in the same way the angels were, into a ball of energy - how they both began; energy within the void. The void that would come to be in the future, but their multiverse was always going to exist. There would always be universes growing and shrinking, living and dying, all at the same time. Yet there would never be nothing. Nothing simply wasn't a possibility.

 

That wasn't important. What's important is being who He was always supposed to be. As their energies combined, their sanity and insanity balanced each other out, their darkness and light became something more than it had been before, He felt like he was regaining the God he should always have been. When He looked at His angels He could see things He had never been able to see before.

 

 

"We are now one." He studied Michael then, Lucifer.

"The way we should have always been, had I not made a decision when I was young I shouldn't have made. Yet I know it was a choice I needed to make. And that's what you needed to see. Mistakes are sometimes a necessity. Sometimes we make the choices it seems we shouldn't for the right reasons."

He looked at them. "Perhaps the two of you will come to see that in your futures, but there is no way of knowing for certain."

 

He stepped back, to sit down once more, needing some time to accept the chaotic energy of the other God. Even though they were technically the same person, both had made very different decisions on how they were going to do things.

 

"I want the two of you to work together on something. It's going to be needed in the future."

 

Michael and Lucifer shared a look, before turning back to God. "What do you need from us?"

 

Michael didn't sound certain about what it was they were going to be asked to do. It was a surprise.

"I thought… we'd have some time to heal our wounds."

 

"Hopefully this is something you can do while you're healing." God smiled.

"I want the two of you to work on creating an afterlife for the mortals. The time is coming when they will become something more than they were before, and they are going to need somewhere for their eternal life essence--their "souls"--to go. For the moment they are still growing. They're going from lifetime to lifetime without needing a different space, but they will need one soon enough."

His smile faded.

"The problem we have is the fact mortals are emotional beings, and there are going to be plenty of times when they'll make mistakes. Some will need time to let go of those mistakes before they move on from their mortal forms and enter our plane. I want the two of you to create something that will work for all of the souls - those that are ready to move on quickly, and those who need more time."

 

"No--" Lucifer shook his head.

 

"Heaven and Hell," Michael speaking over Lucifer.

 

"Only we all know that relying on the word of mortals isn't a good choice. I want the two of you to let go of that and make something that works. The mortals will always believe in whatever it is they want to believe in. Some will eventually make the choice not to believe in anything, and that is their choice. They will look at many books written by others, and believe it's my word."

He shrugged. "I can't do anything to stop that without taking their freedom, and I'm not willing to do that. What I am willing to do is create a place where we'll have a chance to show them that we aren't the way they believe we are. And by working together, they too can become much more than they are now."

 

For a long time, there was silence. God hoped that was a good sign.

 

"We will do what we can." Micheal almost smiled.

 

Lucifer sighed. " … You believe in them that much?"

 

"Yes. But they are going to need someone to guide them. And I think that is the best thing you can do. That's not to say there won't be other things for you to do, but, for now, I want you to be there for those broken souls, to help them grow and mature."

 

The two angels walked away, leaving God alone. He watched them go, hoping that throwing them into working on something together would work the way He believed it would, and leaned back in his chair, becoming whole for the first time in a long time.

 

 


Submitted: March 29, 2018

© Copyright 2023 A.V. Stygian. All rights reserved.

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