when i fell in love with a saint

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


someone that left me blank, 8 years is a long time


When I fell in love with a saint

 

Year 2010, blood running through my veins boiling the youth out of me, yes it’s my college life. Second year of engineering, all excited to receive juniors who’s about to start a 4 year long journey. Actually not excited, its more to boost the power of being their senior, scare them, force them to respect. Sounds very familiar to many right!

Its then when I saw her, never knew that would turn my life upside down. Me having a reputation that wasn’t the best of all, a steady problem maker, a mediator of college fights, least interested in attending classes although forced for the sake of attendance.

She was unique then, her round eyes would catch attention of anyone with just a vague look around, I fell in love the very second. Typical teenage guy thoughts started flowing through my head, in a span of few days I made a virtual house in my mind with her taking care of our kids. The thoughts which now make me laugh, how stupid was I, maybe it’s a teenage phase everyone goes through.

Anyhow, gradually things worked out well enough and we ended up dating. There was a lot of resistance from her side, but I kept taking baby steps forward and yes!! Mission accomplished. But little did I know then, 8 years later I would be writing a short story of the same. This isn’t a typical love story you see around these days.

Believe it or not, in 8 years we would have gone out maybe 5 times at the most, if you ask why; I still don’t have an answer for it. I tried to find out but eventually clouded up my head with no answer at all.

I left India after engineering for higher studies, although it was just for a year an half. Nothing really changed, we never used to sit and talk for hours on hour, the only mode of communication was using an chatting app which is probably the least used in the world. (It’s obviously not Facebook). Everyone found our relationship weird, so did I.

But she always had good explanation for everything, which would shut my mouth easily. Clever right, well yeah she is. We din meet for nearly 3 years post engineering as I was working in a different state in India, but yeah I kept trying hard and harder to get to the state (South India) where she was working. Today, it’s been over 3 months that we have been living in the same state and yeah, we have met just once for 40 mins.

I spend days wondering what kind of relationship is this, my friends, family etc. everyone keeps asking the same question. I don’t have answers for any of them, I keep spending days, weeks finding an answer only to be disappointed at the end.

You must be wondering why the title says saint, so ever since her school days she’s been following a prominent spiritual leader. And since a few years, she’s been deeply involved in it and pretty must lost in that world, an world that doesn’t suit me. I’m the typical old school person, I somehow don’t admire all these.

For me, the relationship with her doesn’t actually exist, it’s more like a virtual reality or an imaginary thing. We hardly talk, every now and then she sends a message about some spiritual course which she will be attending along with her some colleagues and she disappears.

I sit and wonder what next, what do I make out of the 8 years we were supposedly to be in a relation. Maybe some questions have no answer, or the safest way is to not go hunting for the answer and be more disappointed. If you ask me what I’m feeling at the moment, the best answer I can give Is “I have no idea”. Am now some kind of living robot, all I do is go for work, get back and sleep, the routine continues. Am totally blank with absolutely no answers for my questions. 


Submitted: April 01, 2018

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