I'm no magician

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


I wish I could be a wizard who could make a paradise for you. But I'm forced to confront my mere humanity, and maybe that's okay.

Submitted: April 13, 2018

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Submitted: April 13, 2018

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I'm no magician

Though I kinda wish I was

I wish I could leave my broken self behind

And conjure up a miracle the bedazzled one and all

 

I'm no wizard

Though I do wish that was the case

If only I could make those I love

And those who love me

Amazed and delighted by my spells

 

And enchant them so beautifully

That they forget that I was ever human

For as a human I never really dazzled

As much as I wish I did

 

Though even as a human I can try to charm

And try to impress and hide my scars

To let someone close is to let them see the ugliness within

An ugliness that they may not like or stomach

Or an ugliness they see in me that I myself don't recognize as such

 

Being human is so messy

Having to deal with differing ideals 

And inner contradictions

So I wish I was a wizard

Who could use his magic to rise above the fray

 

And with my miracles, I'd create 

A beautiful world with the brightest colors

Where you're all amazed and delighted and impressed

And relish the sumptuous feast

That I conjured out of thin air

 

And my smile is confident and untainted

I bear no envy, insecurity or resentment

There are no unpleasant feelings lurking within that I have to hide

Because with the power of magic I can simply cast them all aside

 

I'm not a magician

But I wish I was

How else could I always charm and bedazzle you

And keep you free from my brokenness?

 

Nonetheless, this is wishful thinking, nothing more

All I can ever be is a lowly human, with all the baggage that entails

The boredom, the insignificance, the pettiness and the consequences

A human makes mistakes and pays the price

And a human like me can't help but think he may even be worse than average

 

But maybe that's okay

Maybe the meager joy I can offer you

Is still a joy that matters

 

As a human, I can't promise to dazzle you forever

But at least I can show you the love in my heart

Even if that love is transient 

Even if I may give in to my worse self and destroy it eventually

 

As a human I know I'll hurt you if you get close enough

But perhaps the bond we have is already an enchantment

A spell that will make you think twice before giving up on me

Because you trust that I'm a good man overall

 

As a human I may not even matter to you that much

You don't know me that well, and there are people close to you

People who do know you well and you'd rightly cherish more

But nonetheless, I hope I still have a place in your memory

 

Fleeting as my bond with you may be

Being as I am a lowly human

I still hope I had the power to enchant you

So that my love brought just a moment's happiness

 

A happiness that I'll always hope

To bring to you, just one more time


© Copyright 2018 Pulak Km. All rights reserved.

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