I’m not alive, am I?

If I am, what is it all for?

Why was I put here on this earth? to suffer? surely not, but if that isn’t the answer, then what is?

Is this the world everyone knows?


My world is shaky, uncertain. No one is to be trusted and I am no better than the rest. Millions of people watch my every move and I live on like I’m unaware.


They think they can watch me and watch me. But without them, who am I? What is my point if not to entertain them, the blind and ignorant masses? If they are no longer watching, then no one is. So why suffer? Why fight these daily battles if there is no benefits to be reaped?


Sure, I’m human. (but am I?) My purpose is the same as everyone else’s: to live a life worth living. At least, that’s what they tell me. Don’t give up, there’s so much more to life! Who decides what “a life worth living” is? Who can tell me the answer to my endless questions?


I laugh in the face of religion. Foolish God, you tell me that my existence came to be as a result of yours? Then I have a loaded question for you, O God Almighty. Why do you exist? Where’s your God? Yeah, go ahead and get back to me on that one.


Every day I suffer as a result of my existence. I used to be able to convince myself that the benefits of the suffering outweighed the pain. But now I see crystal clear that there is no benefit. There is no purpose. And so, why should I suffer another day in this hell?


People will try to tell me it’s not the only option. I can get through it. It gets better. Sure, sure it does. For you. For you, the ones who are destined to survive, the ones whose minds are not as diseased, for you it is worth it to stick around. But for some of us, the pain it brings to continue living isn’t worth any grief we might save our loved ones.


On behalf of all of us, I’m sorry.


(am I?)


Submitted: April 17, 2018

© Copyright 2023 octonopo. All rights reserved.

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Lily and Jema

Hi this was great. can you read our book Moon Children Dark Night and give us feedback please? it would help us alot.

Fri, April 20th, 2018 12:36pm

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