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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Prolog (v.1) - Prologue

Submitted: April 17, 2018

Reads: 114

Comments: 1

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 17, 2018





Hi. My name is Matt. I suffer from a condition known as dissociative identity disorder. For those of you who do not know what that is, it is a condition where multiple people share the same body, consisting of the host (me, Matt) and the alters. So many people believe that alters are murderous savages, like the ones in the horror movies, but those characters are a misrepresentation of real alters and the stereotype needs to stop. I can assure you that none of my alters are killers.

This is a condition which stems from a traumatic experience which usually occurs in childhood. I advise you to never pester someone, alter or host, about their past; not because they will kill you but simply because it is rude. Like anyone who suffers a traumatic event, someone with DID is still a person no matter who you are talking to.

Personally, I do not want to talk about what happened to me. None of us do. We all know what happened, and we all have our thoughts and opinions on the event. But instead of dwelling on the subject of our past, let me introduce you to my alters. One of them is particularly important.

First there is Jacob. He's a little older than me and is a bit like a big brother. He's the one who likes to be organized and he makes sure the rest of us are okay. Jacob is also really smart; I shouldn't admit to this but I actually allowed him to sit my maths exam. He tried so hard to copy my handwriting, but his is so much neater compared to mine. Still, thanks to him I was able to pass. I don't always depend on my alters like this, but Jacob knew I was under a lot of stress at the time and he decided to help me out so that I could focus on other more important matters. Overall Jacob is a very bright guy and he's always recording documentaries covering various topics. He may sound boring, but he's got a great personality and he's also got quite a bit of musical talent. If he did not reside within my body, he would have tidy dark brown hair with bangs swept to the side, with blue eyes to finish the look.

Then there is Marley. She's the one who really likes making her mark. She's about two years younger than me and she's really into anime. Now, I don't have a problem with anime, but I'd rather not wake up with a cute anime plush toy next to me in bed. I suppose we all have our problems with her leaving her stuff around, since we all feel the need to tidy it away into cupboards and drawers. She also spends the most money on merchandise and cosplay. Marley loves attending anime conventions and has even started building her first home-made cosplay which she's planning to wear for a cosplay competition. So far what she's made looks really cool. What's cooler is that she speaks fluent Japanese and can even read the various alphabets, including kanji; I guess she taught herself at some point and picked up the language quickly. Marley says that if she weren't inside me, she'd be a short girl with wavy blonde hair, not too long but not short, either. Her eyes would be hazel and her skin would be pale.

Next there's Henry, but we like calling him "Jekyll" because it's kinda funny. Henry is one of those guys who is tough on the outside but soft on the inside. When he can, he likes wearing "edgy" clothes which are mainly coloured black. He likes to wear dark make-up on his face, usually around his eyes, and he wears a long black trench coat. His clothes take up the most space (not counting Marley's cosplay, of course) and he usually gets up at night for a midnight snack or to watch the telly. Henry likes to appear intimidating with his dark facade to hide the fact that he's a real softy; I guess he likes keeping people away unless he can trust them. He's not a moody guy, though, he's pretty confident and has a great sense of humour. He's about the same age as Jacob, younger by a few months, and states that he would be a tall man with floppy black hair if he had his own body, and his eyes would be an icy blue.

Lastly there is Sully. This is the guy I consider really important. Sully was the first alter to appear. He saved me. But he has always been the strangest alter of them all. For a start, Sully believes he would look just like me if he had his own body, though he actually has an American accent - the rest of us have English accents. He said he'd be my twin. Now, Sully prefers to have nothing to do with the rest of us. He's the rebellious teen who stomps into the house and makes a mess; I can't tell you how embarrassed I feel when I find some of his magazines under the bed. He's a bad boy who gets into trouble, but for the first time in ages I actually heard him. He hasn't spoken to us for some time, but not long before writing this he finally decided to communicate with us. He was crying.

Sully was the last alter I expected to hear cry. I didn't think there was anything wrong with him, but the other day he completely broke down. I encouraged him to record his feelings for the rest of us to understand, and he did. I found a video on my phone which he recorded at about three o'clock in the morning. Let me transcribe his words here for you - I'll use italics just to make it clear that these are his words, not mine.

So, it's a bit weird, making a video for the rest of you to watch. I've always been a little more... distant. But Matt suggested that I should get my feelings out.

I've had... difficulties. I guess it's just become a little crowded. It used to just be me and Matt after... what happened... but then the rest of you came along and I felt like I was getting pushed out.

There was a time when Matt was afraid. Matt depended on me. I was becoming the host and he was retreating behind me. But then Jacob came outta nowhere and decided to look after Matt. Jacob, you're like a brother to him and the others. That's what pushed me away. I was his new brother, not you. I looked after him. But you were like someone I did not want to remember. You were like the one who hurt us. And yet Matt clearly preferred you over me, because you were a protective big brother while I was just... a better version of himself.

I don't really care for the other two. Harley, Marley, whatever you're called... I don't even know how any of the others can put up with you sometimes. Sure, I guess you're cute, but damn, I can see the mess you make. And Henry, no offense, but your style went out of fashion, like, a decade ago. Plus I find it stupid that you've gotta hide behind Matt and your stupid black clothes.

His vocal tone amplified slightly here since he was growing more and more irritable.

Whenever a new alter appeared, I felt like I was being pushed out of Matt's body. In fact, I started wishing that that would happen! I was sick and tired of fighting for control! I was sick of Jacob reminding me of HIM! It was beginning to feel so crowded and I just wanted to push you all back and shut you up! I wanted to be the dominant alter! I wanted you to all just... leave!

When I came into the consciousness, I made sure none of you could see what I was up to. I knew Matt would get mad at me and I couldn't deal with that. I did so much shit that I'm not proud of. I just wanted an escape. I wanted to believe, even just for a moment, that I was my own person. That I was a host without any alters. But then I'd feel you in there. I'd hear you waking up. Then I would remember that I'm not the only one in this body.

I kept wishing and wishing that the rest of you would just leave. I even wished that Matt would leave so that this body could be my own. I began thinking about how great it would be if there was a cure for this stupid condition!

And here, he started to shake. He started to slowly begin weeping.

I thought about... how great it would be, to be my own person. I thought that it might be even better if we were all our own person.

But then... I started having nightmares. I sleep more than any of you, and my dreams felt so real. In these nightmares, I would dream of a cure. We'd be in a hospital with doctors and scientists working together to split us. And then we would be split. But Matt would be allowed to leave, while the rest of us had to stay.

I had nightmares of being trapped like an animal. It might sound stupid to the rest of you, but I could see us all in this lab. A lab where they "cured" people of the condition. We may have helped Matt in our own ways, but here he no longer needed us. He abandoned us. Meanwhile we were being removed like brain tumours, and instead of being allowed to walk into society, we were kept for experimentation. We became test subjects because we were "not human". Our feelings didn't mean anything because the scientists believed that we were only shadows of Matt. They didn't care about us at all.

What would happen if Matt could be "cured"? Would he really let us all be removed from his body? Would he let us be killed off so that his mind would belong to him alone? Are we really not worthy of being treated as individual people?

Please, Matt. I know you must be watching this, too. I don't want to die. Don't push me away, please. Take me back. TAKE ME BACK! God damn it, Matt, I hate being an alter, but I'm scared of what would happen if you could get us... get us...!

For the rest of the video he started crying, and it ended because my phone had no storage left. I had to upload the video to my computer so that I could restore some memory to my phone, and from there I watched the video a few more times.

As I said before, Sully is a teenager. He's only just turned fifteen, making him the youngest alter despite appearing first.

While he was a child when he first appeared inside me, Sully has never been a coward. He has always been tough. This video actually upset me. It upset me to see Sully so broken. Maybe it's just because of his age, but I can't help worrying about him. I want him to open up more to us. I want to take him back.

His nightmares actually got me thinking... what would happen if there was a "cure" for DID? Would hosts like me be forced to undergo treatment? Would alters be killed?

I thought about what Sully said with the whole scientist thing, and how scientists somehow transferred alters into separate bodies, and I thought about how interesting the idea would be for some kind of science-fiction story. There are so many horror stories about people like us, so what about horror stories that only people like us could understand? Specifically, this is something alters would be afraid of. Marley thinks the idea sounds like something from an anime and is excited to see the finished story. She has been giving us ideas to make it more like a sci-fi story, so anything really weird is probably from her. Jacob has been the grammar checker and Henry has just been there for criticism. Sully and I are the ones who worked on this story together, but I will give Sully the most credit. It's written from his point of view based on his nightmares, and hopefully it will help you understand that alters have fears, too. They're afraid of people who live in their own bodies.

~End of Prologue~

© Copyright 2020 P.A. Wesker. All rights reserved.


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