HATED LOVE

many will take read my love as hate 

feelings I keep locked down deep inside

but if not or you I wouldn't be me 

just thought by now id understand ur lack of actions 

thought id know more about you 

truth is we may hold the same name 

the same blood

but we remain to know not each other 

for our paths may cross time to time

we might save the common hellos 

but each other we shall not show 

our past actions n lack of I have forgiven 

time and time I screamed out to you 

but only cold silence I received 

over the years I tried to learn so much of you 

but lies and hollowness you shielded yourself 

I was forced to be grown way too early 

but I fear I will never be whole 

for I feel we are more alike then we will ever truly know 

and if this is true I know the hurt you feel inside 

but the demons that live within us blind us with false pride

and empty hope 

hope that one day we will be whole 

we will feel that feeling of wholeness 

that feeling that all the pain n shortcomings were and are for a greater reason

for we will never beg nor pled for those around us to understand why we stand tall but never able to reach past whats in front of us

for we are not broken nor lost 

for we have outlived our time 

for we have been wondering looking for that spark 

that spark that once lit the flame that ignites our souls 

that keeps the young fought so hard to maintain

many will miss judge miss lead miss use and miss understand our way 

our words 

our reason for actions

they will never see the good in what we set out to do 

they can never feel how we feel

how much energy we give off from even the simplest task 

no one will ever understand that it was us that gave them the strength 

the strength to be who they are now. 

nor will they see how we stepped aside to allow them to shine 

how we pushed them helping them better themselves before we could better ourselves 

it is not that we are spiteful or angry 

it is that we are tired and let down 

and pondering if gaining losses in the past was worth standing alone now