Love Only Changes You For The Better

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


This is a short story I put together after I realized all the huge mistakes I have made in my life could of never happened if I told this friend of mine how i truly felt.

Submitted: April 21, 2018

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Submitted: April 21, 2018

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To whom it may concern,

 

Life is so full of crazy wonders, one second you are a happy little kid with all the WWE wrestlers action figures, and next thing you know you’re a snot-nosed kid in college who just likes to get high and disappoints his parents. Yeah that’s a little specific but that’s because I’m talking about myself. I swore when I was younger id never get to this point, I promised id never do anything bad and would be a good son for my parents. I blew all that many times, but they still forgive me, every single time. I would have honestly murdered myself already if I was them. I never knew how I got to this point until now. Growing up I was always around friends who just wanted women to fuck and that is it. I grew up with this mentality, and rightfully so, when one is young the last thing they want to think about is commitment and love. LOVE?!?!?! My middle school friends laughed at love and if any of us even started liking a girl we would get teased and laughed at. I always thought with this mentality up until high school, I just met girls to eventually fuck them and any girl I was friends with I deep down wanted to demolish her insides. Point is the thought of falling in love disgusted me, just being with the same girl? That’s crazy talk! I spent most of my time with friends just talking about the girls we hooked up with. High school came along, and boy was I in for a motherfucking RIDE. I never lost my virginity until my junior year but that’s cause I WANTED TO. I have 2 younger siblings who I’ve taken care of since their births and I know what having a kid is like, so having sex and risking having one of those petrified me more than death. But basically, that mindset I had in middle school fitted perfectly for high school. Everyone was just having mindless hookups with everybody and it was bonkers. I realized girls can think like this too, but most importantly I realized something else. Probably something that would have changed my life forever. High school really gave me a glimpse of how beautiful forming a friendship with a girl can be, a friendship so beautiful that you can not wait until you are in love. Sadly, I never got to that my junior year in high school, which is that mistake I was talking about.

So at this specific time I had just quit football because I was a slow wide receiver bum who couldn’t get better and thought just having hands would do it. I decided to take a class I didn’t really need, I will not specify that class nor the girl I’m about to tell you about. To this day she never knows how I truly felt and I want to keep it that way, which is a mistake I do not want anybody to EVER make. So, in this class we had assigned seats and I was luckily placed right behind her. I thought she was pretty and sweet.  We would hardly talk, just when she arrived to say hi or when she would pass papers back to me. But she sat right next to this friend of hers, so I heard her voice quite often, and that voice of hers is the cutest thing in the world I could hear it for hours. She dressed so nicely all the time, each outfit she wore blew me away. She had the best style I’ve ever seen on a girl, her smile was those type of smiles that made you smile, and everyone else smile. Her laugh was music to my ears, I could talk to that girl about anything and time with her was always a blast. When we became friends, I swear I was having the best time of my life. I would rather be at home texting her making her laugh than go out and get topped off. For me all this was a first for me, making friends with a girl I didn’t want to be inside of. In a way I friend zoned myself, I was just having fun with it, we talked every day, joked around every day, and just made each other smile. At this time in high school I was barely getting into heavy Mj smoking, but a realized this girl made me feel a lot better than that stupid plant did. She was a sight for sore eyes and she had the most positive mindset and the thought of fucking her disgusted me. She was just that type of girl you bring home to mom and she approves, sweet and so kind. The kindest girl I have ever met, nice to everyone she met, you would never meet a soul who had one bad thing to say about her. You can find someone that has something to say bad about me everywhere you turn. This girl could have fixed me, if only I nutted up and told her how I felt I would never be where I am now. She would have changed me for good and every night I think about what could have been. But I was so scared, scared she would not feel the same, scared I would lose her as a friend. Because how in the hell were things going to be the same if she rejected me, like seriously I thought all the odds were stacked against me, I never thought what if she says yes, I thought about the negative only.

That is the biggest mistake of my life, I’ve made much bigger ones but if I never made this one I would never have made the much bigger ones. That’s just how it is, so for the remainder of the year I met her we just became close friends who told each other everything, but this time I realized I had a crazy crush on her and became much more insistent, I started texting her a lot more, but still as a friend. So, by this time I don’t think she liked me how she did when we first started talking, because I never made the move and she got tired of waiting I guess. That’s another thing that haunts me, I never really knew how she felt either. Just a stupid mistake pussies make is what I did. To this day I am in contact with this friend, we are there for each other for anything, we don’t talk at all really. But when huge things come up we are there for each other, like heartbreaks and very, very low points in my life where I almost want to off myself. I love so this girl so much, I don’t care that we never got together, she is an awesome friend and she means so much to me. But I know one thing for sure, if I ignored my stupid negative mind and told this girl how I feel I wouldn’t be who I am today. I am not saying we would have been in love and married. But just being with her, even if it was a couple of months, would of saved me honestly. I would of quit weed for good, I would have been a better person. I would have been in love for the first time and not with some sneaky whore like the one I did end up falling in love with. If I dated this girl I would have had all the happiness I needed, Id be a completely different man than I am today. I would have done better in school, focused more on the important things like my parents and my well-being. Because this girl was an angel, she was anything but a bad influence. I swear I wish my little sister meets a girl like her when she is older. This girl never knew how I felt and she ended up dating someone else who didn’t treat her how she deserved to be treated, and seeing that, was the hardest part. And that folks is the biggest mistake of my life. Never make that mistake, if you like someone tell them, as soon as you realize it too. Never think about it twice, if shit don’t work out you at least tried and aren’t left wondering what could have been like me. And trust me if it does work out well, it can change you for good. Makes you a better person, shit if just LIKING this girl made me think all this imagine LOVE? That’s why I am certain she would have changed me, if I was already feeling changes just being her friend. Life is bonkers, expect the unexpected and never keep feelings to yourself

FTW,

 

 


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