The Wait

“The Wait”

He had already

waited

three hours

past

the time

she

said she’d be

there by

tonight

trying to convince

himself

it was no big

deal

but unable to

take his eyes

off the clock

staring at him

from a top of

the T.V.,

his first couple

of messages

were filled with

faked concern

for her well

being

but in truth

were just a

probe

to hear her

voice

and get an

idea

about how

tonight

was going to

play out

but she

never

answered her

phone,

he could

already see

the cracks

forming

on another

broken promise

to him

about the only

thing

she was consistent

with

in their relationship,

he left a few

more messages

as the hands

on the clock

continued to

turn

unable to hide

the desperation

in his voice

his anger

and harsh words

just a front

to cover up

the mounting

pain

she’s inflecting

on him

by ignoring

his calls,

she continues

not to answer

the phone

her prerecorded

voice mail

greets his calls

instead

talking to him

in a bouncy

perky

upbeat way

showing no

sense of urgency

to his pleas

for acknowledgment

which is just

pissing him

off

even more,

each time

having to listen

through its entirety

before getting a

chance

to leave her

his venomous

words

hoping they trigger

some kind of

a response from

her

but they don’t

they never do

she won’t have

to explain herself

if she never

answers her

phone,

the clock just

keeps getting

bigger

it’s eyes

following him

around

as he goes

from room to

room

trying to hide

from the presence

of time

and the ever

increasing anguish

its putting him

through

with every passing

minute

it releases from

it’s grip,

it was after

2am

when he left

his last rambling

hate filled

message

and almost 3am

when he got up

from his bed

and opened the

front door

for her

not saying a

word

just leaving the

door wide open

as he heads

back to his bed

unable to pretend

anymore

he doesn’t love

her

or that feeling

that he has

deep inside

of him

needing to have

her

pressed up against

him

so incredibility

tight

proving to him

she really is

here

with him now

it’s as if her

body

was feeding into

his very soul,

he watches her

silhouette

on the bedroom

wall

as her clothes

are mythically

stripped away,

that night

he took out

all his pent

up hate

and anger

as she lay

beneath him

each thrust

tricking him

into believing

he’s still in

control

of his life

but in reality

they only serve

to solidify

her hold on

him

and his heart

a fact he

fights hard

not to realize

and successfully

hides from

for the remainder

of the night,

knowing

in the morning

she’ll explain

away

all her indiscretions

never her fault

always just a

miscommunication

and he’ll pause

as he studies

the look on

her face

before finally

accepting her

explanation

the whole

episode

quickly forgotten

by both

only being

remembered

by him

the next time

he’s sitting in

front

of that same

truthfully speaking

clock

having as much

hatred

for the passing

time

as he does

for the situation

he put himself in…

Tom Allen…04-21-2018…