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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

TRIGGER WARNING: this essay deals with suicide.

Please note: Hullabaloo22 is not at present in any way suicidal.


A while ago I had a friend called Steve Lake, who fronted a band called Zounds. Somewhere on YouTube you can find a song of theirs written at that time, called ‘Did He Jump’ which talks about suicide.

The song begins:

'Who was that on the window ledge,

Did he jump, or was he pushed?

He left a note which no one read,

In desperate hand the note just said:

Never turned my back on society,

society turned it’s back on me.

Never tried once to get out,

I just couldn’t get in from the very start’.


You see, there is a lot of blame put on the person who commits or even attempts to do such a thing as to kill themselves. It’s the ‘God giveth and only God can take it away’ attitude, which does nothing more than to reinforce and back up the suicidal individual’s feelings of guilt and shame.

The fact is that there are many of us who do not fit in to mainstream society, are never given a chance to. We are the misfits, those that do not truly belong, the ones that feel like somehow we have ended up living on the wrong planet.

Nobody wants to know, and there is very little support available. Since when is being a misfit a sickness. Society picks on the misfit, both as a whole and as individuals taking any and every opportunity to bully in all its various forms; making sure that we are well-aware that we are not welcome and do not really belong. Either pull yourself together and make yourself fit in, or you have a problem.

Not so. The problem is in society’s narrow-mindedness. If something isn’t right fix it or throw it away. Better yet, put a bit of pressure on and the problem will remove itself. Suicide is manslaughter carried out by uncaring individuals who bully, intimidate and push until the person can stand no more; a cold, unsupportive and unbending society is just as much to blame.

When someone dies by their own hand, ask yourself that one question: Did he jump or was he pushed? You might find yourself both shocked and surprised by the answer.

Submitted: April 28, 2018

© Copyright 2022 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Mike S.

Excellent, Hull!

Sat, April 28th, 2018 6:35pm


Thanks, Mike. The world is a very unforgiving and intolerant place for those who don't fit in, and then turns the blame on them if it gets to a stage where they simply cannot take it any more.

Sat, April 28th, 2018 11:38am

Sue Harris

An evocative and powerful piece, Hully.

Sat, April 28th, 2018 7:34pm


Thanks for reading, Sue.

Sat, April 28th, 2018 12:46pm

Jeff Bezaire

Well written, Hully, and well considered. Thank you for adding the note in the description, otherwise I'd have spent tonight worried about you.
Society has too much power and people give it too much credibility. Society's opinions are largely the opinions of the ignorant, the ill-informed, the biased, the immature, the simple-minded, the airheads . . . there are very few valuable opinions held by society. Society determines what's normal, what's acceptable - it tells people how to follow the herd and be one of the flock. So for people choosing to live in the broader world with an open mind, who know that normality is merely a label and not a state of existence (there's commonality, but what's common or typical isn't necessarily normal), then society's opinions mean absolutely nothing, because that's the value of society's opinions on most things.
For the latest fads, the hottest shows, for all things popular and hip, seek out society's opinions. For the things that matter in life, such as who a person is and should you accept them into your circle, look inside yourself and use your own judgement. People do what's popular so they can fit in, but what are they fitting in with? A society of faceless assholes? The people who choose to be themselves and act based on what they think and feel are the ones singled out and picked on because they have the courage to be themselves. The ones who express themselves through their clothes, makeup, tattoos and piercings, and whatever-else-have-you, they are attacked for showing themselves. Because when a person shows who they truly are, they're revealing the individual, and there's nothing "normal" about an individual. All individuals are unique and uniqueness is not something everyone can understand, and people fear and hate what they don't understand. So the unique are targeted.
It takes an incredible amount of bravery to choose to be you. There will be excessive ridicule, sometimes physical attacks, discrimination of all kinds. It will be disheartening. Not everyone has the strength to endure such animosity. But it's not the individual who should be shamed for how they are, it's not the individual who should hide; it's society who should feel ashamed for being so ugly, so callous and irrational as to push someone to that end. With the kind of power that society wields, you'd think it would have a responsibility to do good, but it's a faceless, spineless collective with no responsibility to anyone.
A good article, Hully. People often underestimate their own power and when it drives someone to kill themself, how fully do they understand the repercussions of their power then? How long do they ponder on it before abusing it again?

Sun, April 29th, 2018 12:18am


Thank you, Jeff. It was very important to me to get this written. There is so much guilt around even feeling suicidal -- that 'you' are sick and damaged, don't deserve to take up space. And then there is the 'how could I even think such a thing. What of those left behind?'
A Very complex and emotionally charged issue, I think.

Sun, April 29th, 2018 4:49am

Joy Shaw

So true, Hully. Especially with today’s youth. Depression rates are sky high. Lack of personal interaction is huge contributor. Online bullying is no trivial thing. Snap chat for instance allows people to post things for a short period of time after which it self deletes with no trace of the original post. You can imagine amongst the teen crowds the detrimental effects a malicious post would trigger particularly if the target is a depressed teen.

Sun, April 29th, 2018 1:36am


Thanks for reading, Joy. This was a very important essay for me to write.

Sun, April 29th, 2018 4:53am

moa rider

Very true Mama Hullabaloo, but the tip of the iceberg! The elephant in the room is society. Society can't be pinned down as being culpable, its individuals and smart-arse groups. Usianguke

Sun, April 29th, 2018 2:52am


I sometimes wonder if people realize what destructive power their words and their actions wield, Moa. Thanks so much for giving this a read.

Sun, April 29th, 2018 4:57am


What an honest essay, Hully. Many of us can silently relate.

Mon, April 30th, 2018 3:21pm


Thanks for giving it a read, jaylisbeth.

Mon, April 30th, 2018 8:29am

LE. Berry

What you have written rings very true. The history of humanity is of completion and bullying to achieve 'success.' The current president of the US is the perfect example of how mean and callous behavior and words are acceptable to achieve said success. Appealing to the 'bully' within has been a part of human society for a very long time, and it seems that seeking to end it is nearly impossible. Thanks for your thoughts..

Wed, May 2nd, 2018 11:55pm


Thanks for reading, LE.

Thu, May 3rd, 2018 3:54am

Suzana Ristić Suza

That's cruel and sad truth... Maybe one day society will pay more attention to empathy for other people :(

Sat, September 26th, 2020 7:00pm


It would be nice to believe that society will become more emphatic, but I won't be holding my breath.
Thanks so much for reading.

Sun, September 27th, 2020 9:50am

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