Know This, in Spirit

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Inspired by my feelings for a close friend of mine.

If only I could tell you how much I love you.
If only I could tell you how much I care.
If only I could be sure myself
If this could possibly go somewhere…

I thought I was smart, until you came along.
I thought I had myself put together.
You shattered my reality
Drowned my own pride.
There’s nothing that can beat us, you and I.

Here I thought I knew myself
Had myself wrapped in solitary pursuits.
Then you came along
Joined me in song.
Oh how could I have thought
You’d be what I want?

I don’t think you understand.
You claim to empathize.
But do you really know how I feel
When you cross my eyes?

I was charmed by your quirks from the beginning.
You see right through me like I’m made of glass.
With your adorable humor you make me laugh.
As fellow Trekkies, we stand together.
Comfort zone gone, but what could be better?

Oh, and that look you give me
When I’ve got something on you,
Plain as can be?
If you must know—it sets me free.

If I argue with you, it’s because I’m in love.
If I challenge your ideas, it’s not because I’m smug
I love you, I love you.
I dare not say your name
As I struggle to control my pen on this page.

You challenge me, you do, more than you know.
With you at my side, I know I can grow.
But somehow I doubt
That I make you laugh
Or stimulate your brilliance
Or improve your game at chess.

I love you. But do you love me?
I don’t think so.

You’re brilliant.
You’re caring.
You’re respectful.
You’re nice.
You’re not chattery or overconfident or ignorant or unwise.
You may just be the best person I know
And I love you.
That, I wish you could know.

But I won’t tell you. I can’t.
You’re too good a friend.
And I’ll never risk that
No matter what end.

Submitted: April 29, 2018

© Copyright 2021 EmmaG. All rights reserved.

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