Goodbye and Hello

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

This is the last of a five-part series of poems written about my first boyfriend, back in high school. The other four are Shattered, Trapped, You Are Lost to Me, and
Lost. …You get the picture…he wasn't my best choice of a partner.

Ok, I won’t lie.
It wasn’t that bad.
Waiting every day for you
Knowing you’d never leave me
In a way, I was trapped.

But there were good parts, too
If one puts aside the fear
And the fact that I wasn’t ready
I wouldn’t have stayed with you so long
If I didn’t really care for you.

And part of me still likes you.
Last I heard you’d let go of me
I was afraid you never would.
I was afraid you’d always need me
And I’d always live with the guilt that I’d gone.

But it isn’t like that, is it?
You’re fine without me.
You have a new girl to lean on.
Most girls would be jealous of her
But I’m not most girls.
You know me better that that, don’t you?

How could I be jealous of the one who relieved my pain?
The one who freed me from fear?
The one who freed you from me?
I couldn’t hold your burden and I let you fall.
Just to save me.
And I’m not sure what she’ll do
But at least you’ve moved on.
I was afraid you never would.

I won’t lie.
There were good times.
Why would I excite myself over your hugs if I didn’t love them?
Why would I waste my time on you without a good reason?
I think that in a way, I did love you.
Infatuation, no doubt.
Something you’ve probably learned, now that you’re over me.

It only got scary
When you tried to kiss me.
You didn’t know where to stop.
I’d think every time, “Oh, no, not again.”
It was better when we were friends…

But we were never just friends, were we?
You said once you liked me right away
But we both took forever to figure it out.
You didn’t know where to stop.
You would have stopped being boyfriendish had I asked you to…

But I didn’t know how.
I didn’t know what to do.
No one ever told me how to take care of you.

I didn’t enjoy letting you go
But I did.
And I’ll never regret it
Because it was the right thing to do.

Besides, you don’t need me anymore.
You’ve got a new girlfriend.
And I can thank her for that.
What do I have not to thank her for?
She’s only done me good.

Goodbye and Hello.

Submitted: April 30, 2018

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