i've died and been reincarnated as an illuminatus apprentice 50 years in the future but the illuminati want me dead!

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: April 30, 2018

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Submitted: April 30, 2018





Hello readers, and welcome back to another installment of "Slice of Life", the series where we take a random individual from anywhere in the world and examine their life. After last week's installment about the cannibal warlord turned man of faith General Butt Naked, we've decided to track down the most boring individual in the world and do a special episode about him. The good news is we've managed to find him. The bad news is he's so completely uninteresting that learning about him seems to cause some sort of retrograde amnesia effect. Unfortunately, all I can do is dryly relay a list of facts. So here we go:

He has a name, but nobody can remember it.

He lives in Tokyo, and can only speak Japanese.

He's somewhere in his early 20's, probably.

He may or may not wear glasses and/or have dark hair.

He had exactly one friend in high school and none since.

He sits in front of the computer all day, and has no job.

He justtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Sorry, I fell asleep for a moment. Well, I won't lie to you readers, this installment seems to be quite a bit less interesting than I had hoped. I think we'll skip to the "What Are They Doing Now" segment and you'll be able to use it as a sleep aid. Let's not delay!

So right now it looks like he's actually leaving his apartment. Ah, he's crossing the street to get to the 7/11. Yes, always look both ways before crossing, it might mean your life. And so now he's entering the store. I'd like to take a moment to remind you that today's installment is actually sponsored by 7/11. If you're ever in need, just pop by your local 7/11. Because you know what they say; 7/11, it's [fill in the blank with suitable catchphrase]. Looks like our subject has finished his purchase. I can't see exactly what he's carrying but he seems to be hiding it in a uniquely unsubtle way. Probably some more pornography. And here he comes back across the street... hold on, he didn't look both ways! And one of the directions he didn't look in has a truck barreling down the road! He's too busy trying to hide his presumable pornography from the moderately cute girl off in the distance that isn't even looking at him that he doesn't notice! HEY YOU! MAN WHO I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN SPYING ON FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRU--


Oh my.


I think he'll be fine...

We can replace spinal columns, right?



At least the pornography looks unharmed...


Anyhow join us next week where we attempt to repress our memories and go to a PTSD support group. As always, thank you for reading.



Chapter 1

A Rude Awakening

Hikaru Matsumoto found himself suddenly awakened, in a very rude manner. He was as groggy as you would expect from a man who had just been killed in an automotive accident. He looked over to his left trying to track down the source of the rudeness which had contributed to his awakening; after all, he was a proper Japanese gentleman, and would not abide any impoliteness as long as it came from someone less threatening than himself. Wherever he was, it was dark, but he could make out the vague outline of a human clad in a black robe tugging on the black robe in which he was clad which upon further inspection only seemed to be black because of the lack of light but was actually a dark gray. He could immediately sense that the indistinct figure whom had so bothered him up to this point was female, such was Hikaru's powers of deduction -- and also she was telling him to wake up with a female voice. Upon further introspection, Hikaru decided that maybe his powers of deduction were not all that great and it might just be a man with a feminine voice. Pushing all these thoughts aside for the moment, Hikaru decided it was time to respond. After all, the He/She/It had been tugging on his robe for nearly two minutes begging him to wake up while Hikaru was processing his less than critical insights.

"Yes, I'm awake!" He said, in a voice that was slightly louder than a whisper.

"Finally! I thought you would never wake up! I'm glad that you did though. Not because I like you or anything! But you falling asleep would reflect poorly upon Abe-Sensei." she ---Spoiler Alert: it is indeed a She--- responded before smacking him on the head with unnecessary force. "Don't let it happen again, especially not on a day like this, the yearly bring your apprentices to council day!"

"Wha-?" Hikaru asked nobody in particular, with the amount of bewilderment expected from a man who had been turned into street art several minutes earlier.

Before Hikaru could get himself physically assaulted again a booming voice interrupted.


Hikaru let out a small yelp and quickly scanned the room for the source of the voice. He saw a large circular table with 12 robed figures – and this time the robes were black, no doubt about it – seated in equal distances from each other. One of the figures was standing on his chair and holding a microphone that was anchored to the ceiling. In the center of the circular table was a flickering hologram of planet earth.


This was understandable, considering nobody had made even a single sound in response to his first exclamation.



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