Intro to 'From the Penthouse to The Outhouse'

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


In his own words

Submitted: May 07, 2018

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Submitted: May 07, 2018

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What's the deal since my disgrace you might be asking yourself? Well, my journey of self discovery since involuntarily leaving as Governor of Alabama has taken me from a cell block in The Alabama State Pen to writing this intro to my memoir. Regrets? Not hardly, as my hero, John Wayne would say. The only lesson I've learned is 'don't get caught.' I loved it, the power, the prestige, the money, the hookers, all of it.

 

Pretty heady stuff for a high school dropout, if I do say so myself! I sure showed my teachers, who all said my I. Q was so low, they'd never seen one remotely like it. I'm proud of it, though, 'cause people are always underestimating me. They don't believe anyone would be so stupid as to try something. Well, guess what, people I am--err--I'll try it. I hear people say I should just get a manual labor job, well I say screw that. I want it all, now. Why should I wast my time pissing around for minimum wage, when, with one great idea, like rigging the voting machines, I can make maximum wage? Sure, I might be in the basement shitter right now, but, as Chesty McBabe, my special friend used to say, "Finish already"--err--no, she used to say, "You can't keep a good man down!"


© Copyright 2018 Mike S.. All rights reserved.

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