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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


Mckenna is not really used to big events in her life, until the man that walked out on her and her siblings over twenty years ago comes back in her life and he has a new family , can she put the
hurt aside and save her baby sister and be the big sister she had always hoped for

Submitted: May 08, 2018

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Submitted: May 08, 2018

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Mckenna had never been great at doing massive things in her life, she had avoided conflict on purpose and struggled to stand up for what she believed in. Today was day that she had never would imagined would be doing. She did often share her opinion on different topics and often just agreed with what was being said, however when she was passionate about a certain topic she would share her views.  Big moments had always affected her life and to be honest with you, she did not deal with them well and often became overwhelmed. Mckenna felt that she was not the best decisions and avoided them at all cost, and to be honest this was an issue that she had to fix, and she was often reminding by her cousin to grow up and stop acting like a child.

Mckenna had many big moments in het life, the time she flew across the country and then the moment she flew to china, however this exact moment was on a new level. This moment she was meeting the man that walk out on her more than twenty years ago with absolutely no explanation.

 

 

 

Mckenna looked out of her falling apart car to the house that stood in front of her, this house stood at two stories, which was larger than any house she had lived in. She looked at the gate that guarded this house and the driveway that finished at the house. She tossed up either if she should quickly turn around and drive off or finish her long journey along the paved driveway. Mckenna didn’t feel that she had accomplished a lot in her twenty-six years of life even though she had lived in three different states and just recently got engaged to the man she thought she was in love with. Yes, these were pretty big things but somehow Mckenna wanted massive impacts in her life and as she continued forward she finally thought that moment in time had conquered everything in her life. Mckenna believed in plenty of things, she had attended many churches over the years and at many points in her life did believe in God. One of the things that she was very unsure if was giving second chances especially to the man that left her over twenty years prior.

 

 

 

 

Today she was meeting the man that walked out on her and her siblings over twenty years ago. She was building up the courage to step out of her car. Mackenna was surprised that nobody heard her car rumbling up the road. As she was contemplating if she should knock on the door her phone vibrated loudly and it was a message from her best friend Emma Jones ‘be strong” Emma had always found a way to make McKenna’s day. They hadn’t known each other for a long time but had just connected. Emma always had been there for Mackenna and visa versa. They had spent a lot of time together, even though they lived in separate houses; they were constantly living at each other houses. Their friendship had survived a lot in the past, both had moved to different states and were very thankful for skype and modern technology. They both reached a point in their lives where they needed to settle and take life more seriously. Luckily, they had both ended up in the same area however with two completely different careers. Emma had always told Mckenna what she thought of McKenna’s life choices and even if Emma did not like them she had stood by her best friend’s side.

 

 

 

 

 

Troy Richards heard the roaring car come up the long drive way and just knew it was

her. He had been nervous before but nothing like this. Troy was on his second marriage but third relationship since he had walked out on his family twenty years ago. He was only young when he married Viv Salter, they had four children together but clearly, they were two people who should never have been together. Their relationship was toxic and full of deceit and lies. Troy had never forgiven himself for walking out on his four young children and even though it was more than twenty years ago that he had left he still had a feeling of uncertainty. Troy had made a rash decision in walking away, his and Viv’s relationship was already failing just before their second son Ryan was born and even though they called it quits somehow McKenna had found her way into the world and Troy had moved out.

 

 

 

 

He tried the whole only seeing them on the weekend and followed them when they moved to Queensland and even took Viv’s son Paul to help her out with the younger four. He was only twenty-six at the time and it was not the life he thought he would have. Troy did the only thing he knew and ran far away as possible and found himself with a few jobs just to get by. Then he met Anne Peters, the complete opposite to his ex, without sharing any of his past life, they fell in love and had a son Chris. About a year later Anne fell ill and died and Troy was left to pick up the pieces and raise Chris on his own. Having thoughts of failing as a father Troy was not coping and did the only thing he knew: to walk away.

 

 

 

 

Mckenna walked up the at least fifty stairs and got to the front door, which was one of those large double  doors. Before she decided to knock Mckenna pulled her greasy mousy blonde hair into a messy bun. She reached all the courage and finally went to knock. Mckenna was not normally brave and did not normally take massive steps in life. The only other time Mckenna did something this massive was when she moved to Western Australia and lived on a station in complete isolation. Some days were great and she enjoyed not being around people but some days were hard because she did miss having conversation with other adults.

Troy heard the roaring of the car from the road and had a gut feeling that it was her. He had these feelings turning around in his mind as he was walking towards the door. As he was walking along his rather wide hallway, his adorable five-year-old daughter Rosie ran chasing a ball down the hallway. She ran through the door as she heard a car pull up outside, she honestly had no idea what was happening that day but did love when people visited.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Little Rosie thought being a five-year-old was the best thing ever. She was not yet in year one but could not wait. She thought that she was the luckiest little girl in the world for having a big house, she had her own room and a play room. She thought it was amazing because the house was big enough that she didn’t have to see her oldest brother Chris was hardly home as he was at University. Little did Rosie know that her life was about to change, however she didn’t completely understand what was going to happen in the next four months all she new that her mummy’s tummy was getting bigger. Rosie was pretty happy with her life, she figured out pretty early on that her parents absolutely adored her, and she used that to her advantage, she was not over spoilt however Troy and Wendy did give in very easily if Rosie wanted something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, Mckenna reached the door, however before she could knock and little girl wearing glasses almost too big for her face and face full of freckles skipped out the door and a figure rushing after her. Mckenna wondered why after all the conversations that they had over the phone why he could not mention that he had another family.

It only took one glance at the little girl for Mckenna to know exactly who she was, And it did not need a rocket scientist for her to figure it out as this little girl was an exact image of Mckenna at that age. Everything about Rosie was Mckenna, her chubby cheeks, her mousy blonde hair and she was even wearing glasses. A certain pain struck Mckennas heart, a pain she had only felt once before and in this moment all she could do is stand in complete utter shock and once again Mckenna was completely lost for words.  

 

 

Even though over the years plenty of people had told Mckenna that she was brave and the beginning of all the moving around, when she lived in Sydney a lady had hugged her the first time she met her because she was proud of Mckenna of stepping out. Even though Mckenna and Liz didn’t stay in contact, Mckenna relied on Liz’s opinions over time and often remembered  her advice  . Mckenna had found herself finding mentors in every place she had moved too. Mckenna was a huge believer in everything happens for a reason and that certain people came into her life for that exact moment she was going through at a certain time.

 

 

Just before she could get anything out of her mouth, the figure spoke ‘I am so sorry about that, she was a bit too excited that someone was here” Mckenna was stunned with shock. That was the first thing he had said to her in person in twenty years. Mckenna was completely taken back and from that moment had no idea what to say after that, then to break the awkward encounter, this tall this beautiful lady with a slightly noticeable baby bump, probably only looking a few years older than Mckenna stepped out with a smile she spoke with a nervous tone.’ Hi I am Wendy, Troy’s wife ‘Mckenna had no idea how to respond to that and all that came out was a half smile.

 

 

The only thought that was going around in McKenna’s mind was the fact that he walked out on his first family and suddenly, he had this perfect looking brand-new family. McKenna had always thought that first meetings matter and right now this meeting would be the only one. She had felt no instant connection with this man even though they shared DNA. Mckenna had been taught by her cousin Cherrie  years before, just because you are related by blood, does not mean you owe your family anything. Mckenna still sometimes resented Troy because of his previous actions, and in her eyes, whatever the reason for leaving, it had to be for a very good reason, because he walked out on four young children who he claimed to love. Mckenna took a while to come to terms that Troy was back in the picture, and even when they had started talking, she did have reservations. Even when she decided that it was probably time to go meet him, there was a voice in the back of her mind telling her not to do it. Mckenna had an opportunity to meet Troy on an earlier occasion, however Mckenna backed out and took time off work because she had begun to enter to dark place. At this time Mckenna had quickly became quiet close to her cousin Cherrie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mackenna stood in front on Troy and Wendy and was not sure if she should bolt or not. she was good a walking away as she was not good in situations where she had no idea what to do. She had spent her life running and she could have blamed her father, well he wasn’t the father that she needed. Her Mum did re-marry when Mckenna was about eleven and to her dismay she had to change her last name. Mckenna did call Matt dad but in recent years no longer wanted him as her dad as she started to see the kind of man that he was.

 

 

Mckenna remembered many major things in her life, her high school graduation, flying to china, the first time on a plane, the first time falling in love and Troy had missed of all these things. Walking into the house of her long-lost father was a complete new feeling and Mckenna had all sorts of emotions running around in her mind. They way Troy and Wendy looked at Mckenna threw her out of wack it was the look that Mckenna had always longed for, her mum gave her that look once or twice and her step father Matt had never really looked at her with love but despise.

 

 

When the silence was finally broken Troy had stated that he was happy and glad he finally got to see Mckenna. Mckenna had no idea how to respond to that statement however she just followed Stan and Wendy down a wide hallway full of pictures on the wall. Mckenna spotted a canvas photo of Troy and Wendy’s wedding and sharp shot of jealously entered her body. She was jealous just because she had missed these years and Troy chose his new family and not his first. She had also noticed many photos of Rosie, Mckenna thought she was a cute kid. Rosie was literally a younger version of Mckenna and even looked like her when Mckenna was that age and watching Rosie run down the hallway pulled her heart strings.

 

 

 

 

Mckenna had a regular childhood, however she didn’t start walking till she was at least two years old. Her older siblings did baby her a little, and her mum did allow Mckenna to be carried and Viv did not encourage walking. Mckenna’s parents were mostly strict especially once Mckenna had become an adult. Viv and Matt were more lenient with her older siblings and Mckenna was convinced that they were quite strict with her. Mckenna watched her older siblings get away with way more and it did annoy her. She learnt at a very young age that in her family she was on her own. Mckenna often found it very unfair that her older siblings got away with way more than she was allowed and often had the urge to rebel but never went through with her plans.

 

 

 

 

There was also another kid in the pictures, a boy who looked like her older brother Ryan just younger, Mckenna was a little shocked that Troy had never mentioned on the phone that he had more kids. Mckenna felt a butterfly’s in her stomach as she continued down the hall way. As she got to the back door where Wendy was leading her, something in the corner of her eye stopped her, an image that she recognised. The image was not a recent picture of her and her siblings, she had recognised baby in the picture, it was her, as she had seen that photo many times before, however the only difference is the adult was not her nan but of Troy, Mckenna was taken back, as she had never seen a photo of her siblings and Troy. When her parents split, Viv had rather burnt or threw out the photos of Troy. Only recent years that Mckenna had seen photos of Troy. Seeing that Troy had pictures of his first family up on the wall shocked Mckenna a little but something pulled at her heart, a feeling she was not quite sure of. Whatever the feeling was, she was quite sure that it was something that she had not felt in a long time. Viv has made sure that all evidence of her marriage to Troy was removed and made sure that her children were sheltered from her past.

 

 

 

 

When she did mention the meeting with Troy there was a strain in the family and a lot of mix emotions came to light. Her Step father Matt absolutely lost it and threatened that if Mckenna went through with the meeting she was not welcome at their house. He did keep his word and even though Viv didn’t say anything, she fully supported Matt’s decision. Mckenna did feel hurt over that decision but she knew if she didn’t meet Troy, all she would do was just wonder about what didn’t happen. Mckenna was not welcome at her parents’ house, however that threat had only lasted for six months and Matt had gotten over himself and just decided that there was nothing he could do about Mckenna meeting Troy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wendy and Troy sat down with Mckenna trying not to make things worse Troy started to state all the reasons why he left and how he had changed his life around. Mckenna just sat there and watched Troy hold Rosie in his arms. A shot of anger and jealousy ran through McKenna’s heart and she wondered if her life would’ve turned out better if Troy had stayed.

As much as she wanted to hate Wendy, she could not, Wendy was such a likeable person and for some odd reason Mckenna was so drawn to her. Mckenna could have lost herself in Wendy’s stories about Rosie and Chris, but Mckenna did wonder about how different her childhood was to that of her younger siblings. Mckenna did not have a bad childhood, her parents raised her right, to be honest and to work towards something if you want it. Mckenna had plenty of jobs in her life and struggled a lot with money, that is why she was driving such a bomb of a car however it was her bomb. Mckenna did not get back into contact with Troy because she needed money but because she needed answers and now she had a sister, she wanted to do the right thing and have a relationship with Rosie. Troy just sat at the end of the table and watched Wendy and Mckenna talk, all he wanted in life was to correct the mistakes he made.

 

 

 

All Mckenna was sure about in that moment was Rosie, why did Rosie have to miss out on getting to know her older sister, Mckenna owed her that. As Rosie ran around the table, Mckenna stepped up and probably was going to say the bravest thing she had ever said. Mckenna was so nervous that she almost tripped over her chair but quickly fixed herself and spoke with little tears falling down her cheek ‘I would like to come back and visit, mostly because that little girl has a right to know me “as she was about to walk away, Wendy rushed out of her chair and grabbed Mckenna and brought her in a massive embrace. Wendy joined in with tears and with plenty of courage replied hardly to be understood “oh yes please, Rosie will be so pleased. Troy just stood, with no words to reply with, this was a new scenario for him, he thought when he walked out that he would never see his daughter again. Mckenna broke from the hug with Wendy with tears running down her face, still unsure of the decision that she just had made. Was saying that she wanted to see and get know Rosie the biggest mistake she had ever made. Mckenna had always thought family was important, however in recent times she did start questioning that. she had always tried to be there for all her family. Only in recent times had Mckenna gotten back in contact with her sister Amber. They had not been close growing up and fell more apart in adult years however had found something in common when they both wanted to find Troy. Amber distanced herself away from the family but allowed Mckenna to get back in contact. Mckenna had always made sure that she was there for her older brother but besides that she wasn’t very close to Ryan. Mckenna distanced herself from Viv because for too long she had always questioned McKenna’s ability to make her own decisions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mckenna allowed Wendy to walk her to her car, she had felt that Wendy was being supportive, a feeling that Mckenna had not felt in a long time. Without speaking Wendy smiled and pulled Mckenna into a hug which surprised Mckenna. No words were shared and for Mckenna silence in that exact moment was simply okay.

Mckenna watched in her review mirror as Wendy waved,” Maybe this could work” Mckenna said quietly to herself.

 

 

Wendy watched as Mckenna drove out of the driveway wondering if this will the last time that they will see her. Wendy did have a million and one thoughts running through her mind, one of them being, how could she forget to mention that her and Stan were expecting again. Wendy wanted to let Mckenna be a part of that. As Wendy started to walk to the door the memory of Troy telling her that one of his daughters had gotten into contact with him, of course Wendy freaked out, she thought all of Troy’s past events had passed. Wendy did take a little time to come to terms with the recent news and was not sure if she was ready to meet any more of Troy’s kids, raising Chris was sometimes too much for her. Some days her and Troy’s parenting styles did not match and annoyed Wendy to the max. She did find herself becoming more relaxed with Rosie but she was still unsure if that was the best option. She had only started once Chris had turned eighteen, because he was still under the roof, Tim and Wendy had to implement new rules to suit Chris’s new chosen life as a university student.

 

 

 

Mckenna threw her keys down and looked at the mess of place she called home. She had recently moved in with her soon to be husband Tim, this was the only time that Mckenna had lived with a partner and she had soon realized why she hadn’t in the past. Tim had only lived at home and not yet moved out of the Mum does everything stage, a stage that annoyed Mckenna. When Mckenna was eighteen she had moved out, she did move in with friends but there were moments that she needed to become independent. Mckenna had recently accepted to become Tim’s wife and from there they had decided to move in together. Everything fell into place from there, as Mckenna had just moved back to Queensland to settle and Tim had decided that it was now time to move out. In the short time that they had lived together Mckenna had worked out that Tim was the biggest slob that she had ever met and trait that he hid very well. This was something that had annoyed Mckenna, it did not help the situation that for a while Mckenna did have Tim on a pedestal. Mckenna did have relationships before Tim but they weren’t as meaningful and at the time she had truly thought she was in love with him. They had met completely unexpectly and their relationship had quickly blossomed into something that was honest and really quick not giving them enough time to actually stop and think if the relationship was worth anything.

 

 

 

 

 

Mckenna had always hoped to find her dad, mostly just for answers, he left her, and she had the right to know why. Mckenna had found herself only living in a place for a year, it was mostly because she needed the adventure but deep down it was more than that. She had needed to find herself, find her passion and find what Troy took from her twenty years ago.

She knew finding her dad would equal in distancing herself more from her mum, however the need to do this was growing every day since she found out that Troy was alive.

 

 

Not only did Mckenna find out that her dad was alive, but she found out that she had more cousins. Mckenna found that her finding her dad was opening the flood gates to family drama counting back at least forty years. Honestly Mckenna was not ready for that and all she wanted to do was get answers. The search for Troy, well it was more like a shock of her world to find out that he was alive and closer than she had thought.  Admitting so everyone in her family about the recent revelation was probably one of the hardest thing that Mckenna had to do and it did strain her relationship with her family. Honestly, she was okay with it, to her it showed her that she needed this and the situation was showing her that she was growing apart from her family.

 

 

Mckenna woke up in the same mood that she fell asleep in, she wasn’t sure of what she was getting herself into but what could hurt by doing this. Mckenna literally threw herself out of bed and reached for her phone and looked to see that she had five missed calls from Emma, she quickly went to call her back but before she could her phone rang, and it was the special ringtone she had set aside for her mother. The only reason was because her mum decided that she needed to check in almost every day, they hadn’t been that close since Viv found out that Mckenna had gotten back into contact with Troy. In her defence, it did bring up a lot of unsolved issues of what happened more than twenty years ago. Some things should not have come to light, Viv disapproved the fact that Mckenna found out things from her past. Viv had focused on an image of herself, so her children never found out the person that she was. McKenna only recently dreaded the phone calls with her mum and had found herself not visiting as much. McKenna found moving as far as away as possible from her Mum and step Dad helped with not getting involved in family drama. She had found her parents to be very judgemental and when Mckenna did have serious boyfriends, she would never introduce them until she was certain he was worth every second. McKenna has watched all her older siblings bring their respective partners home and after they left her Parents judge them to the max. Tim had been the only boy that McKenna had brought home and McKenna was still very unsure where she was at. McKenna was certain that Viv and Matt loved Tim more than they loved McKenna, Tim had set himself up in life at a very young age and for that point Viv and Matt just saw him as the perfect son in law, this sometimes angered Mckenna. Mostly because she had felt that her life was not as organised.

 

 

After listening to her Mum’s message Mckenna threw her phone onto the bed and stumped to the bathroom to prepare herself for the day that was to come. Mckenna starred at herself in the mirror and wondered if meeting Troy was the wisest decision she had ever made. She had not been good at making decisions in the past and had to learn from her mistakes. The mistakes she had made did help her grow and give her some what experience in life. Mckenna had blamed Troy for a lot of things in her life, she had only two levels, one was rather not trusting people or expecting way too much from people. One of Mckenna’s former best friend had told her that she had high expectations, that comment had stayed with Mckenna and often came back into her thoughts. This image of the person that Mckenna had always wished to become had popped back in to her mind and she wondered if meeting Troy would be exactly how she imagined it for all those years.

 

 

When she had gotten back into contact with Troy, she wondered if he was just doing it out of guilt of leaving, that thought was yet to be proven. The conversations had started small and unimportant but then had progressed into detailed conversations. Mckenna still wondered why he had left out the fact he had two other children. She did remember the mention of Wendy but not the mention of her growing stomach. Mckenna did take a while to convince herself to go meet him, she did have a lot of reservations and was very uncertain if she would like the outcome in the long run.

 

 

Mckenna did like to throw herself into massive scenarios in her life and some of them were for the better but there were a few that did not turn out well. Her parents had always taught her in life if she was to leave any job, have one to go into, however feeling gusty at the time Mckenna quit her high paying job and entered the uncertainty of adult hood. She did feel lost at times and clearly, she did make massive mistakes. Situations in her life that she could not share with anyone, not even her oldest friend Nicole Garret. Mckenna had only started sharing personal information with her friends in recent times, beforehand she did not feel comfortable. She had made a mistake in telling her mum about losing her virginity and within days had gone around the whole family. After that incident Mckenna lost all trust in Viv and vowed to herself if she was going to share information she would have to be careful of what she did share. Mckenna had had her share of frogs in her life and did hope that Tim was her prince, but in recent times he was proving the opposite. She quiet enjoyed her time with Tim however, moving in with him proven the opposite of what she actually wanted.

 

 

 

Rosie was very unsure of what happened the day before but new it was important as she did see her mum yelling at her dad. She knew to leave the room when her parents were yelling at each other because it was just adults expressing their feelings. Rosie did love her brother Chris, but he never seemed to want to spend time with her. Rosie often wondered about the photos that were on the wall, there were pictures of her and Chris, at the very end there was a photo of four other children, but Rosie was a little nervous to ask her mum and dad. Rosie absolutely loved her dad, he was always there to play dolls with her and drive her to kindy, her mum went to work a lot, but Rosie’s favourite days were when both her parents were home. One of her favourite things was to go see her grandparents on the farm, she thought she had a massive back yard but going to the farm was way better because there were baby chickens and Rosie was obsessed with chickens.

 

 

Some days Mckenna did wish that her childhood was different, and her parents didn’t shelter her as much as they did. Mckenna did not really grow up until she moved state and lived on her own. The most growing up that she did do was when she lived on the station in Western Australia and even then, she doubted her ability of being an adult.

Her least favourite thing in life was making decisions and it was not that she was bad at it, the fact of the matter was that she did not like responsibility. When Mckenna was in certain situations of when she had to be the responsible one, however it was not a role that she took lightly.

 

 

There was this exact moment in McKenna’s life where she felt so alone and lost. She wasn’t exactly alone, she did have people in her life at that time however Mckenna did feel that whatever she did was not good enough. Mckenna had a place within her mind when she had nowhere else to go, this place was called her dark place. She visited this place quiet often and in recent times had found it difficult to come back to reality. Honestly Mckenna was not the best at being an adult and in many times of her life needed the words’ grow up “to be spoken to her. She was not the best with conflict and would rather run away and then deal with her issues. Mckenna knew there was a time in her life that she had picked up this habit but unsure of the exact moment. The only way Mckenna moved on with massive life changes was to seek help and even then, she was very unsure of her own mental stability.

Even when Mckenna was younger she was not good at standing up for what see believed and mostly followed the crowd. She had watched her parents fight and from that moment on, dreaded any sort of fight and ran away from conflict.

Her scariest memory that had never left her mind was when she was about three or four and she had found her mum sitting on the bathroom floor and blood was running down her wrists, too this day Mckenna cannot ask her mum what happened because Viv will completely shut down the conversation. Some memories Mckenna can compress so far down that she wouldn’t remember them.

Her coping skills weren’t very high and the way she dealt with certain situations defiantly annoyed the ones that were close to her. On many occasions, McKenna’s cousin Hannah had been annoyed at Mckenna because at the time she kept on making mistakes. It was never McKenna’s intention to hurt people or even annoy them.

 

 

 

 

The most important question that Mckenna had to ask herself was if she could see Troy again and put herself in a crazy emotional roller coaster. On one hand, she did want to see him again however only for Rosie’s benefit but was that a good enough reason. Mckenna wanted to stop making selfish decisions and wanted to be aware of everyone involved feelings. Some days Mckenna was so focused on her own actions that she unintentionally forgot about everyone else and had put people that she cared about the most in danger and there were no excuses for her actions. Mckenna had always tried to prove that she was an honest and reliable person but sometimes actions speak louder than words, a concept Mckenna often forgot. She had always hoped that people in her life would bear with her and in some cases, they had been very patient and Mckenna had been grateful. Even though her parents claimed that they were supportive, in recent times they had not shown to be and it was not a shock to Mckenna.

 

 

Many times, Mckenna tried very hard to help others but did worry way more than she should have of what people thought of her. One of her worst habits was not thinking first and having a reaction from others that made her nervous and scared. She did not react well to criticism and sometimes didn’t take it on board however it was something she was constantly working on. She often wondered if she was enough for people and she had to be aware of her actions. Sometimes her actions would not just affect her but affect those that were close to her and in one instant changed her relationship with her cousin. She often had to be aware of the way she was acting and had to sometimes pull herself up and quickly change her habits.

 

 

Now that she had met Troy, she felt that the ball was in her court and wanted to be brave and try and form some sort of relationship with him, just if it was just to get answers to why he left and never mentioned that he had this complete new life. She had not yet met Chris, but seeing photos of him, reminded her of her brother Ryan.

Ryan was only one year older than Mckenna and the two siblings were as far away from being close. Mckenna and Ryan had never really formed a bond once they had both reached adulthood. The only reason Chris stood out to Mckenna was that Ryan was splitting image of Troy just a little taller, and that fact she had only learned five years previously. Mckenna dreaded the moments she wanted to ask Viv about Troy, because Viv would completely shut down and avoid the conversation altogether.

 

 

 

Mckenna still had a lot of questions for Troy, but she felt at the time, that she was not yet prepared for the answers. Ryan and Mckenna were never close however did live in the same town for about a year, Mckenna did often go to Ryan’s house and spend time with his friends. When Mckenna was around twenty, basically young and had no idea that what she was doing was completely stupid, she had regularly had moments with Ryan’s friends, honestly, she regretted it straight away and used this as a learning moment.

 

 

 

Mckenna knew that the moment she asked Troy why he left, she would not like the answers. Seeing him with his new family had made her wonder if getting back in contact with him was the best thing for her and Troy. Mckenna had remembered her mum telling her something years ago,” some things are better to be kept in the dark”.

She had never truly understood until Troy started to tell her information about her mum’s past. Mckenna had always viewed the world different from others and deep down wished that Troy had a great excuse for leaving but she knew that it was not real. The way that Mckenna viewed the world was not the usual black and white straight down the line. She had witnessed too many things in her life to have that view. Mckenna had concluded that the world was one hundred shades of different colours and events that had happened had a purpose even if at the time it not feel that way. She still believed that there was a right and wrong ripple effect on actions but there was more to explain than black and white. Their relationship was not always at the point where Mckenna wanted to meet Troy. Their contact started off brief and uninteresting and at first Mckenna was completely against the idea of meeting him, however her sister Amber convinced her that she would most likely regret it if she did not go through with it. It was not that Mckenna was scared, but she did not like the feeling of the un-known, there had been many times in her life that she had no idea what was going to happen, and this was something she wanted to be in complete control of and she wasn’t.

 

A year prior too at least having Troy being back in the picture, Mckenna went through a time of the complete un-known, she had suddenly quit her job on the station and basically started again. This event had frightened her so much that it took her a little while to get back on her feet. She was completely prettified of what the outcome could have turned out to be. Mckenna felt lost and was almost broken, she was not used to starting again and honestly without the help of her cousin, Mckenna would have been a mess Mckenna had only gotten through this moment because she had her cousin’s support. When Mckenna had told Viv of the sudden quitting of the job, Viv was not supportive and shut any outcome of future support down. Mckenna felt that the only way out was to suddenly shut down and shut everything off and completely shut everyone out.  Starting again was a complete new feeling and trying to fall on her feet was a task that she was finding quite difficult. There had been many times in her life that she had felt lost and scared, normally she had a backup plan in place but at the time she did not. Starting new a skill was something she was very unaware of and most days she doubted her ability to achieve what she needed to do. Starting again was the only option and Mckenna had managed to find things about her self that she had never known, she was stronger then she thought but it take her along time to work that out. Mckenna was always told by her parents to have a plan, when leaving a job have a job to go into. Mckenna had not listened to this advice on two occasions and was not learning the lesson that was intended to learn.

 

When she found out that he was back in the picture, there were stages where she needed time and Troy was not respecting her choices and kept on trying to contact her. While this was happening Mckenna was trying to cope with all the other issues she was going through, starting again broke her. The worst part was that her family did not support her choice to stay in Perth. She had noticed that these events had become triggers to her anxiety and this was an issue she was sure that she had dealt with in the past and did not have the capacity to handle especially if everything had just felt that it was all coming down crashing. Mckenna was not equipped to deal with Troy and the family drama that he came with.

Mckenna did decide to move back to Queensland, however this was not aided by her family, this was on her own. She had just started out early contacting Troy, however he did begin to contact her a lot more than he should of and it did become very overwhelming for McKenna. However, after some time of not contacting each other Mckenna thought it was time to meet the man who left her, and it was time for answers.

 

Mckenna did not always have a testing relationship with her Mother Viv, they were close at one point. However, it was not until Viv had left Matt for the second time, this was just after Mckenna had finished high school, Mckenna had followed her because, her Matt did not get on very well and Mckenna still had not found herself and her purpose. They had lived away from Matt for about a year and them doing it on their own was working for a little while. Matt came back in the picture and masked himself that he changed however that was not the case. Matt had masked himself as a great father and that he was perfect, however Matt had his own dark secrets.

 

 

Before Mckenna had opened her life up to Troy and allowed him to enter back into her life she had distanced herself from him but was finding out that she had all this family. Mckenna found out that her grandmother had died, and it broke her in so many pieces, which was an interesting feeling because she had no exact memory of her. A possible reason of being upset was that she never had the opportunity to meet her and form a relationship with her. Hurting over something you can not explain is one of the hardest things that Mckenna had faced. Mckenna was not the best at sharing her feelings and allow things to build up and then the littlest thing would set her off which sometimes followed by an anxiety attack. Mckenna’s other best friend Rachel Kemp was one of few that new that Mckenna had struggled with sharing how she felt.

 

Mckenna was often told that she wore her heart on her sleeve and trusted people easily, sometimes she was not sure if this was a fault of good thing. A week after her meeting with Troy and the ball being completely in her court Mckenna finally reached out however she decided to begin small and meet with Wendy. She sent an email to Wendy, once that send button was pressed Mckenna did not second guess her decision this was probably a first for Mckenna as she had normally always second guessed her decisions.. She was always unsure about her next step. There was one certain year that literally broke Mckenna, she had quit her job with no safety net and moved in with her cousin. This was not a situation Mckenna took lightly


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