This is...

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Vintage Publishing


What this is... (Noir)


Bruised up knees and tired eyes,

My voice is hoarse from all the cries.

My heart is wounded and it’s aching,

My hands; my body are both shaking.

This is pain; this is sadness,

This is love; this is madness.

This is trauma; this is true,

This is me because of you.

This is my hair falling out,

This is stress without a doubt.

These are the tears that I have shed,

This is the fate I see ahead.

The trepidation in my veins,

Is the only feeling that remains.

I taste my tears as they flood,

And the metallic taste of my blood.

And once again I am aware,

This is my heart beyond repair.


Submitted: May 09, 2018

© Copyright 2021 jaylisbeth. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Adam L.

This is... perfect, Lis. I'm taken aback by your poem. The visual is real. Nicely done, sweetheart.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 2:21pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, dear Adam.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 7:23am

Criss Sole

Very heartbreaking and beautifully written. I could feel both the emotional and physical pain. Keep it up! And thank you for reading more of my autobiography. You are almost done! I can't tell you how much it means to me.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 3:18pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Criss...and it's been an honor reading your autobiography.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 8:19am

ChristopherErick

Incredible jaylisbeth. Amazing writing.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 3:37pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Chris!

Wed, May 9th, 2018 1:24pm

Mike S.

Excellent poem, J. B!

Wed, May 9th, 2018 5:17pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Mike!

Wed, May 9th, 2018 1:24pm

johngumbs

I'm wondering, is there anything of you left to be seen? Can You walk? Can you talk? I see that you can type. This poem is deep an d the ryming is just first class.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 5:57pm

Author
Reply

Why, thank you so much, John. I meant every word.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 1:25pm

LeParadisNoirPoetique

This is an exceptional poem about pain. I know that this is a fiction piece, but this is one of the most deepest poems that I have ever read. It's a beautiful tragedy, and your words create haunting imagery that will stay with you for days. Your rhyming is perhaps the best I have ever seen, because it is extraordinary here, and it makes the pain more lifelike than ever before. It's like when the person is hurt, another piece of the mirror they look into breaks, because the mirror will always show the reflection of pain on a broken face. This is in a way beautiful, showing that life is really a ghost, because we will still feel pain long after life ends. Lisbeth your poetry is just beautiful, and it is the treasure inside the treasure chest.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 6:23pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Dexter... I am deeply honored.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 1:26pm

Jeff Bezaire

This is far more powerful than most of your other work. Crafting images of pain and suffering to accompany the emotions adds a new depth to your words that is stunning. The images are so potent, the piece is gut-wrenching. A spectacular job, my dear!

Wed, May 9th, 2018 6:56pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, Jeff. I am flattered that you think so, my dear friend.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 1:24pm

Sue Harris

This is exceptional, JB. So tragic, but beautifully expressed... this has taken your poetry to another dimension, Incredible, you should be very proud.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 7:12pm

Author
Reply

Thank you very much, Sue, I am honored that you think so highly of this poem. I wrote it with a heavy heart.

Wed, May 9th, 2018 1:23pm

hullabaloo22

You forgot one, jaylisbeth, so I'll say it for you....This is wonderful!

Wed, May 9th, 2018 9:08pm

Author
Reply

Awww why thank you so much, Hully :)

Wed, May 9th, 2018 2:10pm

Tom Allen714

Really well done Jaylisbeth...Tom...

Wed, May 9th, 2018 11:14pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Tom:)

Wed, May 9th, 2018 4:54pm

Spyguy

How my heart bleeds for you my friend!

Wed, May 16th, 2018 3:28pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, my Spy!

Wed, May 16th, 2018 8:39am

Angela Villaverde

So much weight! I loved it! Very profound. The imagery in my head was tragic, but worth it. You deep human, you :(.

Tue, May 22nd, 2018 4:41pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, love

Tue, May 22nd, 2018 10:09am

rrwrites0

You captured my feelings and put it into words so perfectly. I'm in awe.

Fri, June 1st, 2018 12:59pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much, my dear :)

Fri, June 1st, 2018 7:12am

Ethan Howard

Nicely written (again). You show us that pain is universal and it comes in so many forms.

Question: is the abuse by her own hands or by that of a lover?

Fri, June 1st, 2018 10:34pm

Author
Reply

A lover, unfortunately... thank you so much for reading my work.

Sat, June 2nd, 2018 9:37am

Joy Shaw

Beautiful. Such great imagery.

Tue, June 12th, 2018 3:04am

Author
Reply

Thank you, my dear!

Tue, June 12th, 2018 9:21am

Melancholic Wisdom

Incredible work, it's got such strong imagery. Well done.

Thu, June 21st, 2018 4:15am

Author
Reply

Thank you, dear friend :)

Thu, June 21st, 2018 3:09pm

Joy Shaw

Great imagery and such emotion.

Fri, June 22nd, 2018 8:27pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, Joy!

Fri, June 22nd, 2018 2:49pm

Kossettes Novellettes

No heart should be beyond repair

Fri, July 6th, 2018 3:54am

Author
Reply

Thank you, Kossette. That is how I feel today

Fri, July 6th, 2018 7:36am

ashe999

my gosh... that was so intense! That really made me sad :(

Mon, July 9th, 2018 9:29am

Author
Reply

Thank you very much for taking the time. I appreciate it so very much.

Mon, July 9th, 2018 10:05am

Joy Shaw

Beautifully tragic.

Sun, July 29th, 2018 3:04am

Author
Reply

Awww, well, thank you for commenting a second time on this piece, Joy :) This is one of my favorites.

Mon, July 30th, 2018 6:38am

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