Overcoming my Anorexia

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I am a 22 year old who suffered a battle with Anorexia Nervosa, Restricting Type. I will talk about my journey, how my anorexia started, treatment centers and my experience, my most amazing
dieticians and therapists, and finally recovery and learning to accept my body. Feel free to read and if you need any help or just someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. Thank you :).

Submitted: May 09, 2018

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Submitted: May 09, 2018

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So, some may ask, how does somebody "get" anorexia or another eating disorder. I will tell you, it is not as easy as just waking up one day and deciding to have an eating disorder just as someone with an eating disorder does not just wake up and be automatically recovered. Anoreixa Nervosa is a very dangerous eating disorder that affects your MIND, not your appetite. It is a MENTAL illness. I can not stress this enough. Someone with anorexia cannot just eat when they are told, it takes a lot of strength. Strength I never thought that I had in the first place. 

?For most of my life I was overweight. I did not just wake up one day and be 160 lbs just like i didn't just wake up one day and be 96. I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. At 16, I started dieting. I lost 40 pounds and got down to 120. A year or two later I became depressed again and ate my feelings until I weighed almost 140 pounds. Up and down up and down. I got sick of it. One night I heard a voice in my head "maybe if you didn't eat you would be skinnier like you wanted to. You can get down to 80 pounds". So began my restrictive eating. I was not automatically anorexic, of course, but four months later I had lost 45 pounds and I was down to about 95 or 96. I was always freezing cold, tired, moody, dizzy and hungry. Of course I am leaving out some parts here but this is supposed to be a short story.

?I began an intensive outpatient treatment program at The Renfrew Center of Florida. I worked with a therapuist named Amy, and when it took so much out of me to just eat breakfast there I realized I had Anorexia. And that Anorexia had a strong grip on me. 

?I stopped IOP because I was not ready to get better. About 6 months later is when I began self harming. My amazing therapist (who I still see) realized I needed to be put in a treatment center and she came clean about everything I had been hiding for over a year. Anorexia is about a lot of secrets, let me tell you. 

Anyway, so I went to Canopy Cove eating disorder clinic first. Although I loved canopy, I do not feel they fully equipped me for the weight gain I was about to go through. When I left I started self harming again, and I shortly got moved from iop again at Renfrew to residential. My therapist there changed my life completely. Her name was Halle and she was amazing. To this day I feel like she and my primary therapist saved my life. 

Renfrew was a life changing experience, and when I left I definitely was not recovered yet, but a few months later I was there. All with cognitive behavioral therapy, nutritional therapy and counseling, and the support of my family and friends who have made me the woman I am today. Happy and healthy.

I know this is short but thank you for reading! 

 


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