To Him

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Love on the brain

Submitted: May 14, 2018

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Submitted: May 14, 2018

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Do you believe in mind-chemistry? Do you believe in Reincarnation?
Well, I didn't believe, actually I thought it was a brainwash literature and discipline, just to convince people that mind has the ability to change the world or maybe because I had never experienced it, but all of a sudden I found my self thinking of you.
It was one of those days, when I needed my personal space, I needed to inhale that Viennese air, needed to walk alone on those old streets of a city that I was missing so bad. As I was convincing my self that my mind was playing me those unfunny tricks “boom” I just received a text from you.
I couldn't believe my eyes, I had some vibes paralyzing my hands and I couldn't reach out for the phone. A simple “Sheila, how are you”? You were thinking of me, exactly in the same time I was thinking of you. Was it a coincidence?!
I didn't want to believe that our minds were synchronized so perfectly. Every single time that I have thought of you, you have sent me a signal.
Days went by with my struggle to get over this thought, it wasn't harmful, but my selfishness wanted me to get rid of it.
I was selfish at this point, because I didn't want to be the only one in this chaotic state of mind, while you were “happy “enjoying your life.
You kept sending me signals, clear ones, confused ones, signals that I've spent hours transcribing them, but they all were somehow virtual, cause you and I are meant to have this kind of relation, we have this caring, respecting amiability and that's it. I didn't know anything about you, except how passionately you loved your job, how communicative and how respectful you were towards me and I guess it will always be like this...
I have this feeling that I met you before, maybe in another past life. I lived You, I loved you, madly because that's the only way I know how to love and I guess I have lost you across time.
I don't know why, but I think you wished you knew me when you were young. Our souls have traveled across the years, have stayed together, fought like crazy and got disappeared in time. Age is just a number between us. Your interests are same as mines, your principals, your favorite things to do, your music, your favorite books, all these things are part of my being too. They define me as well and having you now, in this life has shaped me. You made me discover a lost Me, a shape of Me that I didn't know I had. Wanting to let go of the thought of you feels like an infidelity to Myself and I choose not to fight over this strange, new sensation.
Vienna is my escape, is the city that welcomed my dreams, supported me to make them come true, saw mestruggling to achieve my objectives and then drove me off to the airport, disappointed by my decision of leaving everything....I come here every time I need a break from my reality, I need to reminisce those gold times of my life. And today, on this my return I'm thinking again of you...
I wish you could come and join me in my crazy need for walks around the empty boulevards. I could show you my favorite auditorium, the favorite books of the libraries. I wish I could take you to the Japanese cherry blossom park, get drunk with the best wine or the best dark beer, while I hear you laughter in the silent night. I wanna laugh out loud with your funny stories, wanna know your fears, your goals, what makes you happy and what saddens you. And let's walk, let's walk till the city says Good Morning to us.
And let me take you to the best coffee shop and have that typical Austrian breakfast. I can tell you're tired, from those wrinkled eye bags, but you refuse to let me go. You're craving for my presence, and I love how tenderly you show it to me, in the smartest and finest manner I've ever seen. Please let me be your little girl in this journey, the one who wants to get cuddled.
Sometimes I'm so sick of being tough, of being the “I can handle everything” type of person, I'm tired of hiding all my insecurities, my fears and I'm tired of being the modern psychospritual adviser.
This time I just would want to hold your hand, while endlessly talking to you, about everything, I do believe that you need to talk, your soul needs to be heard, your thoughts need to be read...
Maybe in this current life we're living we will always always be those good friends and none of us will ever dare to mention what we transmit to each other.
You'll hide the vibes you receive and I'll pretend that this is another coincidence without a definition...

 


© Copyright 2018 Sheila Rexho. All rights reserved.

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