communication

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A simple writing on communication and I thought I would share it with you all.

Submitted: May 17, 2018

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Submitted: May 17, 2018

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I just want to start off with a short testimony of what I have personally gone through. One day I was walking into my house after being out paying bills with my mom. In the hallway laid a rug and the Holy Spirit quicken me to move that rug so mom wouldn't get hurt. I was in such a hurry and I didn't listen. He spoke to me again and this time I thought about it, but waited to do it. Well mom comes walking in the door shortly behind me and fell down on that rug. When she fell down she broke her leg. This was the beginning of knowing that God meant business. He was trying to warn me that day. I could have prevented her from falling down if I would have listened. Many may say this isn't so but I know deep within my heart it was God speaking to me and I know I should have listened.

Listening is the first step to all things. When we listen this will lead us and guide us into what we need to be doing. For example: When we travel we need to listen to directions or we might end up miles away from our destination. This is the same way in the spiritual world. If we want to go where God is sending us or calling us to go then we need to be able to hear what he is saying to us. We need to be able to listen to His instructions for our life.

How many of us today have not been listening and we have ended up in situations we did not want to be in. You knew God was telling you NOOOOO!!

Instead you kept going and doing what you wanted to do. I have done this personally many times in my own life and have learned many lessons the hard way. Let us look at what the word listen means.

Listen ...to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; to pay attention; heed ; obey; to wait attentively for a sound1

Do we pay attention to what God is saying? Do we really listen when other people speak to us? I have caught myself many times thinking about other things while someone is speaking to me, causing me to not really hear what they are saying to me. We should always be focused when listening. What do we want to hear? What is the person trying to say? These are questions we can ask our self. What message is this person trying to relay to us as they are speaking . In every conversation there is a purpose. We could always ask ourselves what is the purpose of this conversation.

There are many benefits in listening. When we listen to other people they will start opening up to us and trusting us. Many times people will not take the time to listen they don't even care what a person wants to say. They will not make time to listen! This is not the love of God. I have seen many people only speak to those who were of a higher level in society. If you did not meet their standards you would not receive their attention. We as believers need to be able to listen to whoever God sends across our path. He has sent certain people for us to minister to because of where we have walked in our own lives.

Another benefit of listening is gaining knowledge of what the person is saying to us. If we are not listening then we will not really understand what the person is trying to communicate to us. What is in the context that we should be hearing? What are the main points they are trying to make? We need to be active listeners. What I mean by active is asking questions and listening to the answers. What is it that we want to know? What questions should we be asking? Then we need to repeat what they are saying back to them making sure we heard them correct. We need to summarize what they have just said. This will clarify anything we might have heard wrong. Let us look at wikipedia and see what they have to say.

Active listening is a communication technique that requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what he hears. The ability to listen actively can improve personal relationships through reducing conflicts, strengthening cooperation, and fostering understanding. When interacting, people often are not listening attentively. They may be distracted, thinking about other things, or thinking about what they are going to say next (the latter case is particularly true in conflict situations or disagreements). Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others, focusing attention on the speaker. Suspending one’s own frame of reference, suspending judgment and avoiding other internal mental activities are important to fully attend to the speaker.2

As we listen we should always be attentive with our focus on that person. Our eyes shouldn't be straying and looking elsewhere as if we don't care what the person is saying. I sometimes have a hard time looking at people. I will admit it isn't easy for me. Many times I have spoken to people as a manager giving them direction just to watch them stare off in other directions trying to show me that they didn't care to much for what I was saying. This in many ways will show you what a person is feeling inside. This is why we need to keep our eyes on them. Looking at people is a benefit it will let you see their expressions as they speak to you. This in many ways will allow you to see what a person is feeling. Are they angry? Are they happy? Not only expressions but also the body language. What is their body language screaming out? What is it saying to you? Does it say “I want to punch you right about now”? Do they look tired? I use to have to talk to my teenager and her body language always told me she didn't want to hear what I was saying. Her arms were crossed and her eyes were always rolling around. Then the slamming of the door made it very apparent what she was feeling. In communication the lines need to be open at all times two ways. We must have one that is communicating and there also needs to be one receiving.

Psalms 34:15 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry.3

The Lord knows how to communicate. He sees with His eyes what is going on. He listens with His ears to our cry. God is very active in the conversation that he has with us. He is not the only one speaking all the time He is also listening. Maybe we are communicating with God just one way. Maybe we just want Him to do all the talking. Maybe we never open up and trust in Him and tell him our secrets. I many times have struggled with this. I felt like if I told God my true feelings he would strike me down and I would die. But this isn't so he wants us to be honest he knows what we feel anyway. Maybe your the opposite! Maybe we do all the talking and don't let God speak at all. Maybe God is trying to say something to us and we will not sit and be still and let Him speak. This is where our listening skills could become a benefit to us. We can be attentive to what God is saying. We could focus on Him and then take heed to His words and be obedient.

One of the greatest gifts one person can give to another is the gift of listening. It can be an act of love and caring. Too often conversations between two people are dialogues of the deaf.4 People must really feel like you love them or very little real communication will take place. They must feel like you accept them unconditionally. That you accept them for who they are. I might tend to stay on this subject for a bit but this is needed in the church today. We sometimes expect people to change over night and this does not happen. People need time for God to work on them. They need to feel loved as they are being reshaped and molded into the vessel that God is making them. Many people leave the church feeling like they have failed because they did not meet the standards. After walking a life of sin for twenty or thirty years only God can change you into what he wants you to be. Walking in love with each other and encouraging a person will bring much more fruit.

I want to shift a little right now. I want to take the focus off my opinion for a second and share some scriptures with you. In Deuteronomy 28 : 1 And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: 2And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.5

To hearken means to listen! If we listen to the Lord our God he is ready to bless us beyond measure. There are many blessings that come with listening to Him. Physical blessings such as health and also spiritual blessings such as wisdom and understanding.

God understands we have struggles. God also understands what potential we have in us. God is also calling us to take steps to obedience. I know when I felt I was going to have to discipline my self, I didn't think I could do it. I thought can I do what he is asking me to do?am I going o screw up again? Will I fail? Will I be able to keep all his commandments? He knows our weaknesses. Having to change our daily lives can make us feel overwhelmed. Listening to God can be hard but it is worth it. As we try to make changes we do not need to be devastated if we lose a few battles on our way to victory. He isn't expecting us to be perfect. He just wants us to strive to do better by removing anything that might bring separation between Him and us. As we remove the things he is speaking to us to remove we will draw closer to God. Then we will be able to hear more clearly from Him. There won't be anything in the way.

I want to talk about exercising what we learn. Learning is good but we must practice what we learn. We need to practice listening skills into our everyday life. We can start by listening to our family , neighbors , at work our peers, and in our ministry at church. Its like skating if you practice everyday you get good at it. Then if you don't practice you might fall on your bottom a few times.

1Www.dictionary.com

2http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening

3Www.biblegateway.com psalm 34:15 KJV

4C.G.D. Communication Pg 12 pragh 1

5Www.biblegateway.com Deut 28:1-2 KJV


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