Pleasures in the Night

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

A gay male paranormal erotic romance parody where the main character is almost self aware, but not quite. Oz Trich leads a troubling life as both an oracle for the goddess Felicia and as a
paranormal crimes detective. You'd think being an oracle would help solve crimes, but the only visions his goddess sends are ones of guys she wants to hook up together. Not especially helpful when
trying to figure out who keeps summoning angry trolls in the middle of the foodcourt, but Oz still manages to solve crime. Now the goddess has been sending visions of another "romance" she wants to
happen, but this time it involves a sexy vampire and Oz himself. Which sucks because if there's one thing that Oz has learned as a paranormal investigator, it's that vampires are a bunch of
assholes. Will Oz be able to thwart the goddess' attempts to force him into a random gay relationship, or will he have to submit himself to her will?

Submitted: May 22, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: May 22, 2018




“Tell me how much you want me,” his deep voice murmured into Oz’s ear.

Oz groaned as Valerio’s tantalizing fingers teased the outline of his cock still encased in his boxers. “I want you more than cats want catnip,” he panted while trying to grind himself into the vampire’s fingers.

“Actually, I don’t think that all cats like catnip,” Valerio pointed out. This was true, about thirty percent of cats lacked the gene that made them get high on catnip.

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Oz said.

“My last donor always complained about his cat not liking the catnip toys he bought for it.” Valerio shrugged nonchalantly with the offered explanation, as if knowing a lot about cats was weird.

“Ah, well my cat loves catnip, so I guess I should say I want you more than Mr. Snuffles loves catnip,” Oz corrected himself.

“Well then, why don’t you help yourself to some of my catnip,” Valerio growled in a sexual manner, not a threatening one, and shoved Oz to his knees so he was faced with the vampire’s erection.

Oz brought his hand up to the button on Valerio’s jeans, eager to unwrap his package. He got his pants undone faster than Usain Bolt on steroids. Like most vampires, Valerio never wore underwear so his erection sprung out like a jack in the box. And unlike clowns, Oz was no longer afraid of dick so he didn’t even flinch as the ginormous cock slapped him in the face.

Valerio was longer and thicker than any cock he had ever seen, even in porn, and a tendril of nervousness grabbed him like the raping tentacles in that one porn he watched once with his weird ex-girlfriend. How would something so big fit inside him? The question also sent a thrill up his back. He ran his tongue down the length, tasting it. He smelled Valerio’s musky male scent, which was oddly enough laced with lemon.

“How does it taste?” Valerio asked, his eyes a deep red that was filled with lust.

“Lemon cream pie?” Which was not what Oz was expecting.

“Yeah I always stick my dick in a cream pie before I get a blowjob,” Valerio said, a smug smile on his face.

“Well that’s…actually really weird.” Weird was an understatement, Oz thought.

“That way it tastes better,” Valerio explained.

Oz raised his brow. “You just like food porn, admit it.” He didn’t have the heart to tell him that he didn’t even like lemon cream pie. The awkwardness was already suffocating him, like a hangman’s noose slowly choking out what was left of his lust.

It was a good thing that vampires couldn’t blush, but still Valerio couldn’t quite bring himself to look into Oz’s eyes. “I don’t dislike it,” was all he admitted to.

“You don’t have to be ashamed. I wouldn’t mind licking whipped cream off your dick or something. I was just expecting to taste dick, not lemon cream pie when I went down on you. It was a surprise.” And not a pleasant one, Oz definitely would have preferred just the taste of dick, not the nauseating taste of lemon cream pie. Not since…that day.

It was his friend’s sixteenth birthday party, an unassuming bright sunny day. He thought he would be in for a great time, swimming in the pool with his best mates. But little had he known that metaphorical storm clouds were brewing in the distance to rain on his good time (metaphorically, the day stayed sunny). It was the dare. A double dog dare. Oz would lose a lot of street cred if he chickened out. Eat two whole lemon cream pies by himself. It had seemed simple, easy even.

Bravely, he completed the dare. But he was always borderline lactose intolerant, so needless to say he was puking his guts out for the rest of the night. For years, he couldn’t even think about lemon cream pie without gagging. The only reason he didn’t throw up right on Valerio’s sizable and throbbing cock was the years he spent in therapy.

Oz gazed longingly at that thick member. He wanted it so bad, but still he couldn’t stand the taste of lemon cream pie. Suddenly a light bulb went on, and a solution came to him. He looked up into Valerio’s eyes, still burning with lust despite his embarrassment. “We should have sex in the shower,” Oz said.

“You don’t like lemon cream pie,” Valerio deduced easier than Sherlock could deduce who committed a murder.

“Can’t stand it,” Oz confirmed. “But I still want to suck all the man juice out of your horny disco stick.”

And that sexy line was all it took for Valerio to fireman carry Oz to the bathroom.

After setting Oz down on the counter, Valerio used his vampire speed to get the shower running. It was too fast to even register. One second Oz was looking into Valerio’s fiery green eyes as he set him down, and the next the shower was on and Valerio stood before him in all his naked glory. And glorious was definitely the right word to describe the perfect Adonis body before him. Oz leisurely drank in the sight of muscles on muscles, his gaze roaming down the vampire’s eight pack, following the dark trail of hair to his juicy cock.

“Are you ready to take this meat cucumber inside of you?” Valerio asked as he walked backwards into his walk-in shower.

“I was born ready,” Oz said, and then winced when he realized the unfortunate implications of his reply. He hoped Valerio didn’t think about it too much, and quickly pulled off his shirt and shimmied out of his jeans and boxers. He was pretty confident about his body since he worked out often, although it wasn’t quite as god-level as Valerio’s.

Still he noticed Valerio’s lustful gaze roaming his body, and felt its weight as if his body was being gently caressed. As he approached, Valerio growled low and reached out to pull Oz into the shower. The water was warm and Oz pressed the length of his body against the other man’s, reveling in the feel of muscles that were hard as his dick.

Their lips met in a kiss that sparked with passionate fireworks as Valerio’s tongue claimed Oz’s mouth like he was a European country claiming lands in the Americas, stealing away any thoughts—also much like European countries stealing land from the natives. Valerio’s big hands roamed down, cupping the firm globes of the smaller man’s ass.

He broke off the kiss and said, “I want to fuck your tight donut so hard,” in a low sexy growl while tapping and massaging Oz’s entrance.

Oz moaned and grinded against Valerio. “You want to fuck my tiny tunnel?” Oz murmured and pushed his ass against the vampire’s pressing digit until it slipped in.

Faster than he could register, Valerio flipped Oz around, so he had full access to his ass. Oz braced his arms against the tiled shower wall. Oz felt a cool lubricant drizzle between his cheeks. Valerio must have used his super speed to grab it. He moaned as those long, tantalizing fingers massaged it into his fun tunnel until it was slick. He felt the steel-like erection pushing hot against his left ass cheek and shifted his hips so it rested against his crack.

Valerio moaned and grabbed Oz’s hips firmly, slowly pushing into that tight, hot---

“What the fuck?” Oz shouted as he startled out of his dream. He looked around his dark room, and groaned when he saw dim light peeking out from his curtains. Turning, he looked at the glowing digits of the analogue clock on his nightstand. 7:59. The numbers confirmed that he would likely be late again, and he quickly shoved out of bed, pushing the weird sex dream that the goddess had been harassing him with for the past two weeks out of his mind.

It was one thing to send dreams, but it was an especially dick move to turned the damned alarm off as well.

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