Birthmark

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


Some people want it to rain as others would prefer the sunshine, but the pain they feel inside will not fade until they are loved.

Submitted: May 23, 2018

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Submitted: May 22, 2018

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You made me feel like I did something so wrong, but no baby you cheated me. The answers we overlooked weren't even given a chance to be found because of the backtracking arguments. The energies between us during those moments were unbalanced as it resembled an angry grizzly bear standing 8-feet taller than the shook panda bear, as opposed to shrinking back down to eye level and sharing the same calm energy as the peaceful panda. Pushing my actual emotions in the back of my mind, as I pull forward the side of me that just wants to be happy everyday. That proves that I was blind to you and all you've done to me. Part of me wanted you to look back when you made your decision to leave without even considering how I would feel. The world can have an opinion on our partnership, but you have to understand we're the only two that can make this workout to be one of the best friendships known to the universe. Who would've thought I'd love you the way I did? I felt as if I needed you all the time, but I was wrong as it turned out you needed me.

Images and thoughts of you make me feel a way that would present friction to my daily perception of you, by me smiling each time in the moments of asking myself what it would be like to be sharing this moment with you. Standing out on the balcony of super suites at a couple hotel parties produced motion pictures in my mind where you were leaning on my shoulder taking in the calming view. Even moments where I've succeeded at cooking meals, or even putting up a few points on the scoreboard in a recreational game of basketball. It feels amazing to have experienced those moments, but your reaction and presence would've exceeded any amount of joy I felt during those achievements. Sunshine and blue skies continue to present themselves now more often than the time we've spent together. However, I can't say that same special spark of amusement is there anymore, when living those days through without someone as special as you to bask in the moment by my side.

It seems you've found another and moved away. I know to you it might seem strange, but all I want to do is go outside to watch the rain. The tear drops would hide behind the consistent rainfall. With each drop you wouldn't believe the hurt I feel inside because I feel not even words could explain half of it all. People pass by greeting me with smiles unaware of my soft cries under my breath as I respond back with a false energy of happiness. In the eyes of a man seeking to find some common ground with the only woman he grew to love and know past her skin. In his mind she holds the title as the goddess of love that has come to fulfill a prophecy of bringing about the best years of his life. His hands only know how to gather materials from all across the world in order to create something beautiful for her. His heart beats a rhythm only she would understand as its calling for her to return her throne next to him. His faith was once strong, but the will he had to carry on working towards a future fit for a family someday has left his list of promises written in the stars. His mind wants nothing more than to breathe freely with an expression of love, but his heart intrudes on those wishes as it wants her back in his life.

To him every woman and man has something that makes them special, but it takes the right individuals to admire and appreciate those qualities about that person. For him, finding something special in himself seemed impossible until she put everything into perspective, and displayed her elated thoughts and feelings for his existence. His commitment to making sure she's the happiest when together is a bond stronger than the chains of amistad. For he refuses to break any promise to her because his loyalty is a birth trait he expresses day in and day out. When picturing life after death, he never feared anything beyond the big blue sky because she would rub his left hand, and whisper in his ear she'd always be there which gave him all the comfort he could demand from life. During meditation his perfect alignment of energies surging inside reveal a figure of the Taurus in the night sky. Peaceful, loving, and understanding the bull is a direct reflection of his personality as a person. His deep fascination with the moon explains his everlasting love for her as she resembles this blessed gift from the universe given to him. Aware of his option to let go and move on, he'd rather continue to move forward with other goals, but his spirit would only feel satisfied with her loving soul instead of someone else's love.


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