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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: I dunno

Submitted: May 23, 2018

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Submitted: May 23, 2018




My kinsmen, My Inlaws, Head of clans, Wise Elders, And my Ancestral linage here present.


Our people says, It is the drum of war that sends the rabbit running from it's hole at noontime. The gong of despair has left blasting in my household. For I seek refuge in the gathering of my fathers.

My Wife *Oyiwodu has set the roof of our marriage ablaze. It is to her I call this August gathering of my wisdom. Let the hands of knowledge caution her waywardness.

My wife Oyiwodu now despise me as much as she despises the tradition of our fathers. She says there are dirty and primitive. Absolute and out of age. She no longer respects the ways of her grandmothers, neither does she respect the sacredness of my manhood.

My wife Oyiwodu has many times refused me the pleasures of her bosom. She complains of her moods, her privacy, and her state of mind. She cuts my chances and deny me passage to my dowry. She say's the white man only does it when in the mood. Oh! No doubt, I now share Oyiwodu with a White man.

The white man to whom I share my wife is not from here. He heels from the clan beyond many waters. Where men don't till the land, and women don't grind the stones of their mothers. Where Adultery is a tradition, and laziness a way of life. He tells my wife the same thing. He says women don't belong in the kitchen alone. He talks about Education, Now Oyiwodu lies lazily reading from the big book he gave her. No soup at the fireplace!

My wife Oyiwodu now insults me. She say's I'm primitive and do not understand the white man's language. She laughs at me because I do not read the alphabets and count the numerals. My wife Oyiwodu has insulted my ancestors. She says they are Uncivilized and inhuman. She say's I'm like them!

The white man has shared his madness with my wife. Oyiwodu has insisted we stop enlarging our linage. She now bags my manhood in a nylon like vegetable, so I don't hatch her.

My fathers! Does a woman have many eggs only for us to hatch few???

My wife Oyiwodu now teaches our children about a strange god. She says he comes from the skies, and he is called supreme. My fathers, The god she talks about is white. Yet she prefers it to our black deities. Oyiwodu has committed a sacrilege against our ancestors.

The worm in my wife's head has of course digested common sense. Oyiwodu has changed her name. The white man calls her Goodness. She has traded the name of her grandmother for a strange name. She has dejected the ways of true dignity. Oyiwodu is now Goodness!

Oyiwodu complains bitterly about my *Echi. She says I'm being backward and superstitious. She said my fathers are dead and do not hear me. She do not observe the *Aleku festival. The ways of my fathers provoke the ghost in her head. She is possessed of strange deities. The white man god.

Just yesterday, Oyiwodu burned the whole essence of my ancestors. All the remains of my fathers and their Echi. All of it!

My wife Oyiwodu is the nightmare beyond my sleep. She hunts my very existence. The white man to whom I share my wife seeks my life. I beseech to hide my bones from the weary world of her new culture.

Our people says, When the grain is too hard to be crush with the mouth, the mother hen sends it to the gizzard.

My wife Oyiwodu is no doubt beyond my man-discipline. So, I bring her before her fathers and my fathers.

Please let Oyiwodu be African Again!

© John Praise Ochoche.


*Oyiwodu (A name of an Idoma woman)

*Echi means Charms (ancestral juju)

*Aleku festival means Spirit festival (Ancestral festival)

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