Help me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 23, 2018

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Submitted: May 23, 2018

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I keep thinking I can fight this

Like I’m strong enough than the person inside of me

I don’t think I am though

This thing

This person inside my head

Wants me to hurt myself

And I want to reach out 

But I scream and hold it to myself

It’s not my fault

Well it is 

 I let myself become this person

This empty soul who is okay with death 

Fantasize about funerals rather than boys or girls

I’m trying but I’m not

Half of me is killing myself 

And the other half is trying to survive

I can’t keep fighting

I’m tired I’m so tired

This isn’t getting anywhere

I guess what I want is to be saved

But I also want no one to know

I’ve been cutting again

And binging 

But not purging

Guess I like making myself more self conscious

I’m really dead inside

You can see it in my eyes

But no one asks

No teachers

No kids

No family

Nobody asks and if they do 

They believe the lies

What can I do to reach out 

When something keeps holding me back

My heart is hurting and I feel sick

I’m thinking of all the bad things I can do

This life is becoming a nightmare

I give up too often

Please tell me why

These meds are supposed to work

But they aren’t

Save me 

But don’t

Let me die 

Let me leave this world

Because I need to end this person inside of me

When I kill one side the other dies too

And I’m okay risking that

 


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