How Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton Saved Christmas

Reads: 25769  | Likes: 26  | Shelves: 19  | Comments: 7

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


It really did happen this way, I promise…


It was late December and an epic snowstorm had covered Washington.  The wind was howling and it was hard to see more than a few feet through the blizzard.  That wouldn’t stop Hillary Clinton from accomplishing the mission.  She trudged through the snow to the front gate at the White House.  The guard checked the guest list and waved her in.

She knocked on the door and President Trump let her in.  He said, “Let’s sneak out the through the hidden tunnel.  I don’t want the Secret Service to know what we’re doing.”

The two made their way through the streets of the city, walking carefully to keep from slipping on the ice and snow.  It took a half hour to make it to their first stop.  It was Bob Woodward’s house, the journalist famous for exposing the Watergate coverup that led to Richard Nixon’s demise.

Woodward raised his eyebrows when he opened the door and saw who was there.  “What the hell are the two of you doing here?”

Trump and Clinton took turns telling the story.  When they were finished, Woodward said, “Well that sound pretty crazy, but what does that have to do with me?”

Mrs. Clinton explained, “Because we need a long ladder.  I know you’ve got one in your garage, I saw it at one of your dinner parties.”

Woodward thought for a moment, then said, “I’m not sure if I trust either of you with my ladder.  I better go with you.”

The three took off, trudging through the snow.  It was a good thing Woodward came along.  The ladder was heavy and the snow was deep.  They took turns, one walking ahead, making a path through the snow, while the other two carried the ladder.

The footing was dangerous and the three were breathing heavily from the effort.  But they were determined.  No matter what, they were going to accomplish their goal.  Finally, they reached their destination.  My house, your author, Serge Wlodarski.

You see, I’d just adopted a new kitten.  Since it was the holiday season, I’d named her Christmas.  That morning, she’d dashed out the door when I was shoveling snow.  She immediately scampered up the tall oak tree in my front yard.

I tried to scale the tree to get her, but I lost my footing on an icy branch and fell.  When I hit the ground, I sprained my ankle.  I was worried about Christmas, and I didn’t know what to do.  So I called my old college buddy, Hillary Clinton.

The three placed the ladder against the tree.  Mrs. Clinton held on to it from the left, President Trump held on from the right.  Woodward climbed up and grabbed my cat.  When he handed her to me, there were tears in my eyes.  I couldn’t thank them enough.  And that’s how Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton saved Christmas.

Right about now, you’re thinking to yourself, “Serge, what the hell was the point of this obviously impossible story?”  It is this.  America is a terribly divided nation.  Left vs. right, liberal vs. conservative, Democrat vs. Republican.  We can’t agree on anything.

While we fight amongst ourselves, we accomplish nothing.  Our rivals are gaining on us.  Jobs are bleeding overseas and our national debt keeps piling up.  Unless we can find a way to work together, as a country, we are fucked.

Somehow, we’ve got to put our differences aside, agree to disagree, and start working as one nation.  If we can do that, together, we can Make America Great Again.


Submitted: May 27, 2018

© Copyright 2021 Serge Wlodarski. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

Criss Sole

I hit 'like' and 'shelfit' right away! And as expected I was not disappointed. I really loved the message in this one. It is very important, but many of us tend to forget. We have got to work together! Even though I am in Russia i stand behind this message 100% Make America Great Again!

Sun, May 27th, 2018 12:49pm

Author
Reply

Yay! I'll tell Donald and Hillary you liked the story.

Sun, May 27th, 2018 7:09am

Luna Abbot

I started laughing picturing them get along, then I got really, really sad.
Funny self-insert fanfiction and it has a point!

Sun, May 27th, 2018 3:57pm

Author
Reply

It wouldn't happen in a million years which is why I had to write it. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Mon, May 28th, 2018 4:16am

hullabaloo22

I loved the idea of them trudging through the snow on a rescue mission, but the kitten would have made her own way down. I learned that lesson after many frantic efforts at getting mine down when they were younger. And the division is not just an American thing -- it seems to be pretty much a global phenomena right now with far left and far right getting more support than those more in the middle.
A nice read with a strong message, Serge.

Sun, May 27th, 2018 7:33pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. Yes, in the real world, I always ignore my cats when they meow at me from a tree. That wasn't the only part of the story that wasn't realistic.

Mon, May 28th, 2018 4:19am

SimonClemens

I see.
As far as I know the priortiy for many of either side, particularly the vocal minorities, the thing to care about is feeling correct, constructing easy take-down strawmen, and short-term gains rather than anything so painful as change or compromise for long term good.
I get what you're trying to say, but it's far from the first time I've heard it and it's more than likely to fall on deaf ears where it matters.

Plus that kitten would have gotten down on its own.

Maybe a trust exercise metaphor could work if you revisit this idea in the future.

Mon, May 28th, 2018 1:43am

Author
Reply

Of course. Nothing will change in America. Won't stop me from writing about it.

Mon, May 28th, 2018 4:17am

RexMundi555'.-

Serge, that's so sweet and . . . timely. A little nostalgia, and a wise suggestion!

Sun, May 5th, 2019 8:55pm

Author
Reply

Thanks! I thought it was impossibly crazy but I like your interpretation better.

Mon, May 6th, 2019 5:12am

NEONETWORK

ugh

Mon, July 29th, 2019 6:53am

Author
Reply

Yes, one of my goals with this story was to annoy people.

Mon, July 29th, 2019 4:49am

D. Thurmond aka JEF

I liked the whole story and the explanation was perfect. --- It kind of reminded me of the time the Pope and Martin Luther saved the church. However, the ladder they had wasn't long enough, so the end's the same. LOL

Thu, November 26th, 2020 10:25pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. A lot of people don't get get my sense of humor, glad you do.

Fri, November 27th, 2020 1:51am

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