What's Perfect?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: May 30, 2018

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Submitted: May 30, 2018

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Will I ever outdo myself?

I spend so long questioning myself, if this isn't right?

Then did I fail?

Conflicted by the very air I breathe

Not being able to get up and believe.

But the overactive mind of a believer

And the toxic thoughts of an overachiever

Are what we should be concerned with.

The crippling fear of being deserted

The feeling of breaking down.

Waiting for someone in the dark that can turn on the light.

But that someone never comes

So I cower by myself.  

When I fall, I fall worse than I ever did before.

When I'm down

I just get kicked down again.

Never able to believe in myself

Never able to trust anyone.

Breaking down in the same old room.

I don't want to live,

Tried to kill myself.

The pain I feel gets better

But worse, making me once again falling worse than before.

i'm 6 feet deep, not able to breathe.

Not able to be who I want to be.

The feeling of uselessness,

Atelophobia devouring me.

Monophobia chasing after me.

Knowing I'll never be good enough,

But people telling me to be perfect

Makes me wonder if I'll ever make it?

Will my failures be the only thing people see?

Will all this trying never be?

Can I do anything with my life?

Can I do what feels right?

Or will I be judged for doing what I believe in

Not being able to reach what OTHERS believe in.

Perfection isn't a thing, everyone has their own beliefs.

Being perfect means being you.

Pistanthrophobia will now always be with me.

 

(Atelophobia: The fear of not being good enough.)

(Monophobia: The fear of being alone.)

(Pistanthrophobia: The fear of trusting.)

 
 
 


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